The number of people going on and on about their wonderful alcohol free lives

[Eastie77Returns]

It’s a bit boring now. Every other Opinion essay or online article today is written by someone waxing lyrical about their decision to stop drinking and how incredible their lives are now followed by judgy comments about the poor saps who still drink, use it as an emotional crutch and are too wine addled to realise they are drinking themselves into an early grave. It’s all a bit sanctimonious and honestly…who cares?

I did have to say something to my Dad though. When my DS turned 18 we were out and my Dad asked him what he wanted to drink and my DS chose a non alcoholic drink. My Dad questioned his choice and told him to have a beer. I told my Dad that if someone doesn't want to drink then that is their choice and completely normal.

My dad is lovely but likes a drink and is old fashioned. He apologised and that was that. He used to be horrified about paying a lot for soft drinks in a pub but he's getting used to it now.

It's annoying! Have never been a big drinker so nothing to quit here! How do I get that shiny happy new me feeling without sudden sobriety???😂

Several of my friends have made facebook posts over the last few months, about going teetotal. None of them have been sanctimonious. It's usually a bit about their personal reasons for quitting, and then that they hope to do more fun things without alcohol in the future, and a request for anyone who wants to join in with sober fun. They just seem positive, hopeful. I love seeing people growing, being positive, and making it public just adds accountability. Good for them!

The people who talk about this a lot are the newbies who may or may not go back to drinking in due course so just ignore them, they are trying to convince themselves more than anyone else. I haven't drank alcohol since I was 18, almost 30 years ago and I never even think about the fact I don't drink unless I'm asked about it or prompted to by something (like this post!).

Menopause meant for me that I could no longer tolerate alcohol (dreadful sick migraines if I had so much as one glass). So I stopped drinking and it made me realise how much socialisation revolves around it, and how non-drinkers are rarely catered for well at large social events. It also made me realise how tedious some ex-drinkers are, as though they expect a medal for not drinking, when they roll out their story for giving up alcohol and I think 'well, yes, you HAD to give up or your husband/wife would have left you and taken the children, you'd have lost your house and probably be a permanent hospital inpatient.' I have far more interest in people who just shrug and say 'yeah, I gave up drinking, no reason, just wasn't into it.'

I wish I could still drink, I miss parties where we all got a bit tiddly and daft. Now I'm the sober person in the corner doing a Margot 'I don't think that's funny'. Sigh.

I’m 45 and I hardly ever drink these days. If I drink or have a late night, the following day is a write off. Gone are the days of going out drinking after work, rolling home at 1am and getting up in the morning for work! I don’t bang on about it though. I also keep my new crafting hobbies on the low down too.

yes to your entire post !@Over40Overdating
especially this part;

every social occasion is centred around drinking. Every celebration marked by drinking. Distress with a drink. Gin o clock. Prosecco o clock. It’s pervasive and we are conditioned to seeing it as an integral part of life that wouldn’t be acceptable if it was smoking or weed despite the fact it is a drug and does huge amounts of harm socially and physically.

What struck me was when I was completely teetotal was the anger and judgment I got from drinkers - way more than the OP is showing to non drinkers. Drinkers take it personally when someone else isn’t drinking. And the bigger their own relationship to drinking is, the angrier they are to those who don’t drink.

It is crazy how upset and uneasy some drinkers get over non-drinking. I once had someone at uni say it was “unfair” that I was a great dancer and was having so much fun at club nights and parties even though I didn’t drink.

I mean they meant it as a compliment, and weren’t genuinely angry at me- but it was still very telling and I think reflective of the mindset many people have , which is basically - who are you to have fun and be outgoing without alcohol? I can’t, so neither should you!

What do you mean by facial allergy, if you don't mind me asking? I've recently started to go red and blotchy on my face and neck when I have a drink and wondered if it could be peri?x

When I first stopped drinking, 11 years ago, yes, I was very excited about it - I had to stop - was a functioning (just) alcoholic.

It is a real 'pink cloud' few months and we do tend to want to talk about it. Its not necessarily 'sanctimonious' and I am certainly not boring or no fun. In fact, I get heartily pissed off with sneery people who decide that life CAN'T POSSIBLY be anything without drink.

I still miss it at times but it's perfectly possible to live an actual (gasp) fun and enjoyable and healthy life sober

Love this attitude.

I have the same response when friends give up sugar or meat despite the fact I eat a fair amount of both.

Unfortunately some people don’t like to see others making positive changes if it’s something they’ve not been able to do.

A month without cheese would be difficult. A month without chocolate is difficult. A month without anything you like is difficult.

I don't see why that means the person 'has a problem'.

Yes..this. You’ve written the point I wanted to make. A lot of these articles are written along the lines of “now I no longer drink I no longer suffer from crushing anxiety, have 4 day hangovers, drink 2 bottles of wine every evening, engage in self destructive behaviours..etc. As if everyone who drinks lives like that!

For those of you who are think the articles bore me because I secretly have a troubled relationship with booze. Well I drink about 4 units a month and my last drink was a glass of Prosecco on Christmas Day. I’m off to blog about my journey to moderation now, it will be fascinating😭

I’ve had more issues in the past with ‘booze bullies’ at parties who try to force me to have a drink and call me a party pooper if I say no. I can’t drink for private medical reasons I don’t want to explain to everyone. But drinking is so normalised now I think it’s good if we also celebrate not drinking as a lifestyle choice too.

Many people are drinking far far too much alcohol which isn't good for their physical or mental health. I applaud anybody who is attempting to give it up.

Not necessarily , they may like me be very susceptible to marketing! I hardly drink but it makes me think oh yes I should do that I’m are a terrible person it’s going to kill you cut it out. Self flagellation I suppose.

It also made me realise how tedious some ex-drinkers are, as though they expect a medal for not drinking, when they roll out their story for giving up alcohol and I think 'well, yes, you HAD to give up or your husband/wife would have left you and taken the children, you'd have lost your house and probably be a permanent hospital inpatient.' I have far more interest in people who just shrug and say 'yeah, I gave up drinking, no reason, just wasn't into it.'

Wow. Lacking a bit of compassion for people who've overcome an addiction. So much more worthy if you've given up drinking because you weren't into it?

I think this kind of sharing information about a personal choice gets an awful lot more bandwidth than it used to. Great if you're feeling much better having stopped drinking caffeine or started daily cold showers or whatever, but it doesn't mean the rest of us need to do the same and will be endlessly interested in the details.

But you still haven't explained why it bothers you?

You don't relate to the content so don't read it, listen to it or watch it.

And as there are many many people out there who do relate to the content, they should be able to read, listen or watch without you having a go about it.

I've not had a drink since boxing day and I feel no difference. My life is exactly the same... just less winey.

That applies to every single topic on SM!

There's very little most people are interested in.

I’m sick of “dry January”
on the radio - I keep having to turn it off.

I don’t really understand it either -I drink sometimes but generally feel a bit bilious after Christmas and would naturally never drink through January either - I don’t even think about it - it’s hardly performing some amazing act of mental abstinence managing to not drink for one month. And who cares?

I was listening to radio 5 the other day and the presenter was asking everyone if they were doing it, talking about the health benefits and how marvellous it all is but so difficult. One guy said he’s just doing “moist January” bc he “doesn’t want to appear rude at work”? Like wtf? Who even cares? Who thinks like that? Would anyone really care or notice that you were drinking a coke if you didn’t make a big point of it?

Bore off!

Exactly- and also multiple posters have pointed out how these articles provide balance, since overall drinking culture is so dominant and widespread in the UK to the extent that non-drinkers are often ridiculed or questioned for their choices .

Surely that is more of a concern? The issue of how much drinking culture is pushed on all of us in media messaging, in advertising and in wider society.

And there’s been no response or attempt by OP to engage with any of these points.
.

My DH has recently quit alcohol and might come across as one of those people. However, he gets a lot of questions asking him why he quit and answers honestly " I didn't like my relationship with alcohol' I was drinking daily" "i was spending so much money on it" "I tried to cut down and couldn't"

Whenever he tells people the reasons for it (only when they ask)
he nearly always gets a response along the following lines: "oh I don't really drink that much", " I need to do the same thing" "Oh wow, I really admire you, I wish I could" and then all of them will try to justify their own relationship with alcohol as though he is judging them (he's really not, he actually couldn't care less about other people's drinking habits)! But it's like his reasons for quitting make other people feel uncomfortable because we all know alcohol is a bit stupid doesn't actually benefit us ( I say this as a mild drinker with a very healthy relationship with alcohol).

It doesn’t really annoy me to be honest. Fair play to anyone who has given up completely, I have to say I do find life a bit joyless without a glass of wine from time to time. Having said that I find it extremely draining on the system.

My GS feels after a lot of partying over Christmas/New Year a reduction in drinking would be a good idea but he doesn't want to do a dry January. He's decided on a compromise and is having a "damp January" so dry for the majority of days but on some occasions having a drink. Maybe it will catch on.