school not taking dds period pains seriously

[canigetarepp]

my DD has very very heavy and painful periods. she is 14 now and her periods have always been like this since she started aged 11. she takes iron tablets because otherwise she becomes anaemic. she is prescribed the same medication that I used to take before my hysterectomy, for adenomyosis. GP tries to encourage her to go on the pill, but she doesn't want to.
she has also had burst ovarian cysts, for which she was hospitalised in the past.
yesterday she went to 3 different teachers at school because of her period requesting to come home. they refused to call me. one of them even mocked her and asked how she was going to cope in the real world if she can't cope with period pains, teachers can't go home when they get their periods etc etc

I'm really cross. I need to be able to trust that they will look after her. what am I supposed to do, just keep her home when she has her period so I know this won't happen again, that seems extreme. I know this was in the press recently so it's obviously fairly common. how do you/your dds deal with school, regarding periods?

Just wanted to say that taking Buscopan alongside Ibuprofen Lysine helps me enormously with my pain.

The teachers were mocking. The girl was trying to access medical and parental help but was refused. She was trying to manage the situation but was denied help.
Imagine if a ND child was trying to get help and had these words said and help denied? What a boy with a chronic pain condition? I think he’d be helped by the teachers and his parents contacted.

thanks for all the replies, I will try and answer all the questions.

yes I have spoken with her HoY about her periods. she has been given a toilet pass as a result. HoY was one of the teachers that she approached yesterday. I will need to talk to her again

regarding going on the pill...mostly I think that it is because they are for birth control, and she feels 'embarrassed' to be taking birth control. I have discussed this with her alot, but also she doesn't want artificial hormones, which I understand. she is even resistant to the mefanamic acid and the transemic acid that the GP prescribed as an alternative which is frustrating.

so the longer term plan in my mind is that as she gets older she will be more willing to try the pill. her sister has a coil for the same reasons, so maybe she will have that

when I asked the GP for a note, she said that she would expect the school and the parents to have a grown up conversation (so refused basically) the hospital consultant said that she would write one if necessary I will go back to her

all the teachers that she spoke to were female

We had to fight to get our GP to take DD's period issues seriously and it wasn't until I paid for a Private Gynae to get involved that they gave her the medication she needed.
Luckily (?) for DD I had suffered myself and according to my Mum so did she and my Grandma so I understood but my SIL complained about by niece being dramatic about her periods until I explained how badly she could well be suffering!
You will need to fight for her OP and that includes explaining to school about it in very very clear terms

A lot of schools don't allow phone usage at school, at my DC's school they go in a lockbox in form room

yes, she is not allowed her phone out in school

Former teacher. Disgusting that your daughter was mocked and not taken seriously by people she trusted to confide in. I always used to send them to the medical room as they know the frequent flyers, time wasters and genuine cases. I would suggest you ask for a risk assessment so that there is a plan in writing that all staff will be aware of. Absolutely name those in the wrong.
Wishing your daughter well.

I would be livid, I'm on morphine for my periods

I can recommend be you period patches and naproxen

The mocking is wrong hut so is your daughters attitude. She needs to engage with medical advice rather than just ‘leave things as they are and hope they get better’. They won’t, and she can’t just miss school. There is no shame in taking medication. MANY medicines have more than one use. Birth control is one, but the pill is also used to manage acne, period issues, hormonal imbalances, do I need to go on? Nobody need know she is taking it, she will hardly be forced to wear a badge stating it and the school would not know.

I had extremely bad period pains when a teenager.

It is very difficult to manage bad pain and it's not really something you can "move away from".

I had an operation at 21 which helped significantly and also went on contraception which meant I did not have periods at all.

She is a child. The medical professions need to explain the medication in a way that a child can understand.

No advice op but solidarity. Mine were horrendous until I went on the pill. Once a friend was sent to find me as I'd taken so long in the bathroom and I was on the floor white as a sheet unable to move. She thought I was dead (we were in year 9, so limited life experience!!) and the teacher still told me to have a glass of water and I'd be fine. It was so bad I was regularly retching from the pain. I ended up taking ibuprofen which weakened my stomach lining and then with the regular retching I ended up with a tear in my oesophagus. They were better after I had my first child, but that's hardly helpful for anyone else in the situation.

It's so awful that this stuff isn't taken seriously. Really hope you find a solution and the school takes notice.

Massive sympathy. My daughter has endometriosis and got basically no sympathy from anyone at school. I had several long conversations and so many emails back and forth about it. Didn’t want any special attention just a guarantee that she’s allowed to go to the loo when she asked to and to please call one of us if it all got too much and we’d bring in painkillers or take her home if needed. Apparently we needed to do more to tackle it? We did everything- she was on the pill from 13 years old, dosed up on pain relief to try and get her through as many lessons as possible on bad days/weeks. Short of a full hysterectomy couldn’t do much more.

If its any consolation my daughter is now in 6th form college and they are far more sympathetic- she has a lift pass for example for when the numerous flights of stairs are too much.

Would you be saying the same if someone had hard to control diabetes or asthma?
The plan is obviously to cope the best she can and when it's not manageable she will miss those things. Adults are off work regularly with health conditions, it's part of some people's lives.

If you get the hospital consultant to write a letter that will help.

You may need to just let her stay at home.

How bad is it?

I had pain and cramping, and as I got a year or so into my periods I also got vomiting and diarrhoea when they happened.

Buscopan can help with muscle cramps, whether uterus or bowels. Applying heat - wheat packs or a hot water bottle will also help. Hot baths (if at home) help fit the same reason.

Pain killers are good - if she does not want to take the prescription ones like mefenamic acid or naproxen sodium then alternating paracetamol and ibuprofen is probably the best bet. You can also buy co-codamol over the counter which is paracetamol with a bit of codeine in.

Stopping periods happening is generally a good idea in these circumstances - so either the pill and running packs together or the implant.

It can be very difficult to persuade teens that they don't just have to endure this pain - my DD had three years of really bad pain before I managed to persuade her to try the pill and run two packs together and it was life changing,

I completely sympathise with you and your DD.
My DD16 has horrendous periods, I can see the colour just draining from her face from the minute it starts.
Her otherwise wonderful school/sixth form has ridiculous rules regarding absence and will not authorise any absence to do with, in their words ‘Time of the month’.
Thankfully now DD is in the 6th form she is allowed her phone and if it gets too bad she calls me and I go and collect her (only once so far) but on occasion when she had terrible period pains and was still at secondary school, I’d tell them she had sickness and diarrhoea so she’d at least have a authorised absence.
It’s beyond belief that they still can’t recognise how painful periods can be and how much they can affect someone’s life.

This infuriates me. My periods were so bad from age 11 that I was sent home basically every month. Vomiting, shaking, passing out, unable to move; the GP didn't want to know.

Despite basically having a day off every month during senior school I came out with 14 GCSEs and have a perfectly good life. It's a chronic pain condition for some women and girls and should be treated as such. Feels like we're going backwards. I would be losing my shit with her school.

There is no indication that they haven't. Basically the GP wouldn't write a get out of school note. Nothing to say they didn't explain how the medication might help, how it works etc (and that is the point to be asking questions anyway, not just saying 'I don't wanna do it'). The school is wrong to mock, absolutely, but they are right at basis. This problem is not going away and she will not be able to take multiple sick days from a job in future every month. Coming home each time is not an option.

Dreadful experience from the teachers!

I know she doesn't want to hear about the pill, but there are alternatives to a physical tablet each day. She wouldn't need to tell her friends- if that is her concern? Its also commonly used for teens with acne and other hormonal issues- not just birth control. A patch that could be worn discreetly and doesn't need remembering to take daily. I think there is a pill which has the same hormones as the implant, so a trial of the physical tablet, and IF that works, then have the implant fitted.

Another option could be a family planning clinic. They used to have under 24's clinics and also teen clinics. You'd generally see a gynae consultant or a specialist nurse and they has alot more info about various options than the GP. Just a thought for the future.