To think I simply can’t go on a car journey with my 3.5 month old?

[AtWitsEnd2025]

I’m currently parked up on a roadside with a screaming DS. Inconsolable. I’ve changed his nappy on the back seat it’s not that. He was fed 40 mins ago. I’ve offered him boob on the back seat and he doesn’t want it. He’s crying his eyes out. Dummy not helping. I’ve assembled the pram to see if lying flat helped it didn’t. DH standing and bouncing him on the pavement in the rain helped a little.

in the end we’ve decided to put him back in the car seat and drive the ten mins home. He is SCREAMING.

what do we do? What if we were on a motorway?

we can’t calm him, and pulling over to change him and offer boob isn’t possible on the hard shoulder!

This is absolutely horrific I have never known him so distressed or distraught

Trapped wind? Manoeuvre him around in all manner of directions (upside down to right side up usually works) and cycle his legs (not at the same time!) he'll release it from one end or the other.

Solider on. He’ll stop eventually.

Have you checked the car seat to make sure there's nothing spiky in it?

can one of you sit in the back as entertainment?

Our approach would just be to keep going. And then go out again. And again. Car journeys are not something you can avoid and the damage to an unsocialised child with no adventure would be far greater than a few cries in the car. Understand it’s hard. Parenting can be shit! Clearly if it’s acute, may be a medical condition today.

My 3rd daughter screamed in the car no matter how long the journey was for 6 months! School runs, holidays, days out etc it was horrific and then all of a sudden she got a lot better - she’s still the only one to cry in long car journeys now and she’s 6 and has 2 older sisters and one younger one!!

This.

Well it depends where you live.

One of mine is like this and we did basically just avoid car journeys - but we live in London so that isn't particularly restrictive

Is he always like this in the car or is this new? Unfortunately they do have phases like this sometimes and although it’s not easy you do have to just toughen up and get through it. If stopping the car, getting him out, changing position and nappy etc hasn’t worked then there wasn’t a lot of point! I would just sit one of you in the back with him (assuming he’s the only child) and get on with the journey. It’s not pleasant, it’s stressful but realistically you can’t let a baby hold you hostage from ever travelling anywhere.

One of my children was like that when they were babies every time they were in the car. They screamed all through every journey. Sitting in the back helped a little bit sadly not much.
They didn't grow out of it until they were about a year old.

My child was much worse in the newborn car seat up to 9m then when we changed to the big one he started to enjoy the car

If you were on a motorway you drive through the screaming and put the radio on loud.

If he hates it and you can reduce or cut out car journeys, great.

If you live rurally and need to for food or to get other kids to school then he screams.

Is he cold?

Can’t do that if I’m driving

No but perhaps stop when it's safe and try it. Does he have reflux? Being scrunched up in a car seat makes reflux really painful.

Some little ones just hate car seats. You either don't go far, or let them cry. How old is he and how are car journeys normally? Is it definately the car, or could he be feeling poorly or something?

I am in the back and I can’t console him. I have NEVER seen him this distraught it is heart wrenching. We are nearly home thank god

Maybe the second adult could sit in the back, or put baby in the front seat with the airbag off? Or give a dummy as sucking can be comforting to them. I’m assuming you’re not in a city/town centre where taking the bus or walking would be an option? So really long as I’d eliminated anything actually being wrong i.e. not hungry or cold and in a clean nappy then I’d just carry on and do my best to ignore.

Plenty of people can avoid car journeys - the alternative isn’t “an unsocialised child with no adventure” FGS. What do you think happens to children whose parents don’t own cars? That doesn’t mean OP shouldn’t keep trying but get a grip.

Sometimes he sleeps in it! But this is my point, I don’t feel I can take the risk, especially of going on the motorway in case this happens out of the blue. It’s horrific.

Our 3 month old was the same, it eased off by 6-7 months and he’s fine now.

I think he wanted to fall to sleep and was angry (livid!) that I wasn’t picking him up to feed him to sleep. Then the mixture of over tiredness and the fact he was so worked up just made him inconsolable.

It's an odd time to be doing a journey, wouldn't this usually be bath and bed time? Perhaps the change of routine is unsettling

actually this is a good point, I thought it was an age thing but we also did swap to a bigger car seat

Try and time car journeys with nap time. That's what I used to do.

Remember it's a phase and so there's no harm in reducing car trips in favour of buggy for a few weeks and then try again.