To think I simply can’t go on a car journey with my 3.5 month old?

[AtWitsEnd2025]

I’m currently parked up on a roadside with a screaming DS. Inconsolable. I’ve changed his nappy on the back seat it’s not that. He was fed 40 mins ago. I’ve offered him boob on the back seat and he doesn’t want it. He’s crying his eyes out. Dummy not helping. I’ve assembled the pram to see if lying flat helped it didn’t. DH standing and bouncing him on the pavement in the rain helped a little.

in the end we’ve decided to put him back in the car seat and drive the ten mins home. He is SCREAMING.

what do we do? What if we were on a motorway?

we can’t calm him, and pulling over to change him and offer boob isn’t possible on the hard shoulder!

If you’ve checked the fit of the car seat and it’s not that I’d suggest it’s the dark. I could never drive at night with one of mine. She used to absolutely lose it. Fine in the day and would happily sleep.

And of course if I’m in my own there’s no one in the back!

This is interesting

You have my sympathy - my second one was like you describe. Every car journey he'd scream and cry and I'd be a mess. It didn't stop until he was bigger (about 9m?) and we moved into the next car seat up.

At six now, he's no memory of it and he's absolutely fine, but I remember very clearly being where you are now.

This too shall pass.

I remember one journey my ds done this when we were 50 mins from home. Did the exact same as you and nothing settled him at all. We just had to drive home.. Never happened again thankfully.

Honestly, we just had to keep driving and if it was distressing I'd turn the volume up on the radio so I couldn't hear him and most of the time, after 30 seconds he used to go quiet 😂

Both of mine went through a stage of this, didn't last long thankfully but it's horrible. We had to drive so did power through. We had a lay flat car seat which was amazing, when we switched to next size that was when they freaked out! It did stop after a couple of awful journeys. It's horrible to see and hear however x

Right: this too shall pass. Just get home. Its not a big deal and doesn’t mean anything about the next time.

My DD was like this, as she got older she suffered from travel sickness. I think it was probably that. The screaming did get better after she moved on from the first baby car seat. We really reduced the amount we travelled in the car.

Try not to panic too much when he is screaming. I know it is really distressing, but the most important thing is to get to your destination safely.

DS did the same at a similar age - hysterical howling. We were on the motorway and came off to check him after about 20 minutes. There was nothing wrong. When we reflected we realised it was the dark. He always had a nightlight and cried, a lot, if it was dark.

If you are driving and can't pull over, you just have to hyperfocus on the driving - there is no alternative.

He's the right age for evening colic so it might not necessarily be the car. One of ours screamed horrifically for about 2 hours every evening at 3-4 months, usually starting just as DH got home from work. Absolutely inconsolable, although infacol helped a bit. More than 20 years ago now but I remember it well - he was usually such a placid, happy baby.

Every time I drive through a local tunnel I feel a tiny bit of tension because of how much both of mine used to scream when they were babies travelling through it.

They're both unscathed, and in fact ds1 now drives through it himself without realising it broke me a little bit 😂

They do grow out of it but yes, it's grim.

Yanbu

Totally normal unfortunately. Lots of parents gloss over this. We literally couldn't go anywhere until 3 months and only made absolutely necessary trips until DD was 6 months old. I also timed car journeys so they coincided with naps which would sometimes bring blissful silence. Most of the time I just got used to the screaming.

DD (now much older) has also never been carsick in her life so it wasn't early carsickness which does cause crying in some babies. The car screaming did taper down between 6-12 months but didn't really go away completely until 3 years. It was replaced by whinging and complaining of boredom once she could talk.

My oldest did this for about 6 months. It's horrific ans at times when I was on my own, caulked with sleep deprivation, was probably very dangerous.

In the end a big baby mirrir on his seat and some battery operated giraffe fairy lights (other animals are available) sorted him out. Think he just needed stimulation.
Any lights/ sound/ sensory you would do.
In th

I ended up with a shoebox full of bits in- fibreoptic wand, koosh ball, light up runner ducks.

Yes mine hated the drives in the dark until he was a year old. Fine during the day but screamed every night journey. Try it during the day and see if that makes any difference. Hard during the winter when it's dark so early.

I put noise cancelling earphones in until he grew out of it. If you can’t fix it, find a way to get through it.
I'd recommend all new parents get a pair of Loop earplugs just to take the edge off the crying when they’re young too.

what?! 😆

Music for my daughter. I used to hate it when we were up on hill roads and could only pick up radio two. Bloody Jeremy Vine would waffle in and I'd be shouting 'play a tune, any tune! 🤣

10 minutes from home and I wouldn’t even have stopped, I would have just carried on driving, got home and sorted him out there in the comfort of my own home!

Sorry OP!! Know how stressful it can be. Keep soldiering on!!

Some tips that helped us:

• white noise machine or playlist of songs you can make them familiar with outside of the car seat first
• remove newborn insert (definitely better after she could fit comfortably without)
• loosen nappy slightly
• strawberry toy from mamas and papas that hangs straight down from the handle

Promise you it gets better! My DD is now 8 months and the screaming journeys are only 10% of the time instead of 90% 😅

Sometimes babies just scream blue murder. They just do. You can't console them, so you just have to get on with things, whether they like it or not.

You cannot let your entire life revolve around this. My dd went through a stage of screaming in the car, and it was really difficult to concentrate on driving, so I get where you are coming from.

Mine used to do this too. Hated the car and the car seat, would scream inconsolably as we were driving. I found that stopping was worse and it extended the journey. It would have been 10 mins of screaming and turn into an extra 30-40 mins feeding and burping - and then still crying on the remaining drive home. I found playing Miss Rachael the car speakers really calmed him, you could try the little toy/mobiles that wrap around the car seat’s handle maybe? In the end we tried our best to plan car trips around nap times but obviously it’s not always feasible.

iPad or iPhone in the back with baby sensory videos? You can download shows on the bbc app so you’re not using data. There’s a show called Tik Tak. Or The Baby Club might work.

It can be a reflux thing

it will get easier but if you can avoid long car journeys then do.