Only on Mumsnet...

[SushiSheep]

...have I heard the terms "norks", "tinkly laugh", "naice" bread/ham/area, CF (Cheeky Fucker), LTB (Leave the Bastard) and "get your ducks in a row" (when leaving the bastard!)

What are your 'Only on MN' things?

@Goldleafcat Maybe you'd prefer Mark Twain's version then? 'Death is the thief of joy' 😂

Much better 😅

People who wash their towels after every single use!

smellsfishy · Today 09:50

I also think of cockwomble as having originated here.

I saw it used on the Guardian talk boards in the early 2000s. I wonder how much cross over there was.

Exam results are not to be considered worthy of any note unless they happen to be 17 A*s.

For example:

“I don’t think your dc will be at all suited to A-Levels/higher education with those results; they really need stellar results and I’m afraid op they aren’t”.

Op will then go on to explain the dc in question got a couple of 8s, a good number of 7s, a six and a 5 in something they have no intention of studying further.

”Even so op, with only 8 GCSEs above a 6 their chances of getting into a good university are vanishingly small.”

Every year.

Fanny gallops
Yoni massage

There was a time on MN when baby names beginning with the letter K were declared chavvy.

Can't stand "Are you on glue". An actress in the NI show Hope Street uses it continually so I don't know if it's common there.

The assumption that if you don't have the same accent as a poster then you're ignorant or are mispronouncing words.

Chavy sex pond (aka hot-tub)!

It does get used in NI, or at least I used to hear it. But people would have been more inclined to say 'Have you been on the glue?' or 'Have you been sniffing glue?'

My brother calls them that, I'm certain he's not a closet MNer 😂

Yes and ghastly

Using 'terrified' instead of 'a bit worried' or 'slightly concerned' or 'mildy apprehensive'.

In an ENORMOUS statistical anomaly you are much, much more likely to have a narcissistic mother if you are a member of mumsnet.
(Though, of course, "real" narcissism has a tendency to be inherited)

Or - 'I have anxiety'.

Maybe people on MN are statistically more likely to have a particular concern because they are the ones who have come on here to ask advice about it? All the millions of people who don't have that problem won't be posting about it, will they?

Also being ‘broken’ instead of sad. I never see or hear this anywhere else but it seems like there’s a new thread about someone being ‘broken’ every other day on Mumsnet.

LadyWhitwell · Today 13:37

Yoni massage

That's a new one for me, what does it mean?

Is that what it means, someone I don't know very well said she was broken in a group conversation and I had to keep quiet in case I said the wrong thing as it wasn't an expression I'd come across before.

I will now be better able to join in if it happens again

Picky bits.

No one in real life that I know says this.

"Naice" has always been around as a snobbish term used to identify someone as pretending to be posher than they are. "Their house is "naice""

Iirc it's from a thread many years ago featuring Brian from Hull, who was offering to massage MNers yonis.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoni

Vanishingly. Never ever heard a single person say it out loud

A poster constantly picking at one comment you make - then, when you reply to their point they say you're going on and on, and say you're derailing the thread.

It's a horrible phrase