Only on Mumsnet...

[SushiSheep]

...have I heard the terms "norks", "tinkly laugh", "naice" bread/ham/area, CF (Cheeky Fucker), LTB (Leave the Bastard) and "get your ducks in a row" (when leaving the bastard!)

What are your 'Only on MN' things?

I think it might be in normal usage, over the years in workplace toilets etc I've seen bins marked "sanpro" only.

Thoughtful gifts

If the poster was American that’s maybe not so unusual to have Hawaii packages as fairly standard holidays?

Dh, dd, ds, etc and other abbreviations were all very normal/common in most chat forums in the past.
It's just died out a bit elsewhere.

Maybe this is an age thing? Definitely a commonplace term in the past.

Yes, absolutely. Less common now but definitely a phrase I would use in that context.

Some real crackers on here....have you seen the conspiracy ones

Yeah, those totally don't exist elsewhere on the internet.😂

No indeed. MN is certainly not the worst, nor the most toxic. However, you didn't quote the rest of my post about this site, and how it can give good support and advice to other women.

Not my circus not my monkeys is only used here
I've never heard anyone say this irl

I very much enjoy “spoony fucker”, pretty sure that was invented here.

Boils my piss
Lost my shit
San pro

grim
And it's used incorrectly when posters mean unclean, smelly, having an attitude of not caring about basic cleanliness.
Whereas it means dark, gloomy, serious, unhappy etc. The misunderstanding ofbits meaning drives me nuts.

No that’s a common one IRL, my husband and I use it a lot and we both hear it at work.

That people are 'triggered' if someone has the temerity to phone them up.

Grown women using words like “gosh!” and “goodness!”.

The utter desperation to prove how nice you are to people in the service industry, even if they’re utterly useless and appallingly rude. Apparently even going into a shop 20 minutes before closing is unfair on the staff as they will need that time to shut down, clean up, discover their sense of inner peace etc. before leaving exactly on time.

The belief that a highly detailed written reference is essential to any future employment - with anyone who points out that this is 20 years out of date being loftily informed “People can still pick up the phone, you know”. Yes, they can pick it up - but who are they going to call? Have you ever tried getting through to a specific person at a company head office completely on spec?

I was listening to LBC the other day and a female caller told the presenter to "give his head a wobble". She's a mumsnetter, I thought.

Oh, and anyone who says 'fuming'.

That's a common West Yorkshire phrase. I heard it from elderly people many years ago.

Oh, and the long list of people it could have been if you don’t answer the door. What if the neighbours are trying to tell you your shed is on fire?! What if it’s the police with terrible news?! What if someone has had a road accident/gone into labour/been hit by a meteorite and needs your help NOW?!?!

In real life, it’s always someone flogging broadband.

I hesitated, and then didn't open that image. Thank God I didn't!

“Fuming” is literally everywhere at the moment.

But the illiterates of social media are 'fumming'. It's the tell of a Mumsnetter that it's spelt correctly.

Posh wank

People constantly raging, fuming and screaming.

How a thread can go from 0-60 and turn into a feeding frenzy.

The amount of women who act like staff while their husband just does what he likes.

Aversion to sex.

I actually did knock frantically on my neighbour's door once, to tell them that their shed was indeed on fire. Did they answer the door? Nope.