My ds doesn't want to go to grandparents because of their dog

[blowuptiger]

Ds is 5 almost 6. He used to live going to grandparents until they had a puppy 18 months ago, at first he loved the puppy (he loves dogs in general) but then the pup got over excited and used to snap at ds face. Once drawing blood just under his eye!
It's really scared ds understandably. The pup even tho almost 2 years still gets excited when he sees ds and bounds towards him and jumps to his face. I've taught ds to be firm and say 'no' with a hand up etc but he just panics.

We haven't seen grandparents for months now and seven arranged to go over today (Boxing Day) but ds is really not wanting to go and it's making it very hard.

I've asked grandparents to come here without the dog but they won't leave the dog at home alone!!!! So I thought best thing would be that we go there and can come away when/if ds gets too upset.

Grand parents just dismiss ds worry and say that Ddog is a good boy/he won't hurt you/don't he silly etc etc. it doesn't help with ds worrying.

Absolutely this.

My text to them,
Dear Mil,
Sadly will will only know who is right about the dog after the visit. I am really not prepared to use DS as a ‘how safe is the dog experiment’ . Hope you have a good day.,

I did. Couldn't find 'plenty'. I'm a dog owner too, and absolutely agree ops ds should be able to visit without dog present due to past incidents. Just dont see why people are suggesting shouldnt be in the house at all, not even in a shut off room. Doesn't sound like a rabid dog who's going to break down the door.

"Grand parents just dismiss ds worry and say that Ddog is a good boy/he won't hurt you/don't he silly etc etc. it doesn't help with ds worrying."

Your parents/PIL sound neglectful. Neglectful of your son's safety, and I would expect them to be neglectful of the dog's needs too - the need to be trained to be in human company.

Personally, I would not be visiting them and their untrained dog unless they were willing to shut it into another room/outside for the duration of the visit. If they prioritise their dog over their grandchild - no visits. It's entirely up to them.

Stop pandering to your parents and the dog. I can't understand why you would even suggest going back there after the dog injured your son. No wonder he's anxious, he needs to know that his safety and wellbeing comes first and frankly his grandparents and parents are failing to do this. I would tell son and grandparents that I will never expect him to be in the same space as the dog again and I would stick to that. Telling him that you are going but will leave if he gets scared is a ridiculous 'solution'. He's 7, why should he have to experience fear before you protect him? If grandparents want to see him, they will have to come without the dog. If not, frankly that's their loss. I hope that you gave them an earful when your son was injured.

Are you still going?
If the dog had done this to your son as a puppy , and had now been trained and didn’t jump up then you could maybe talk your son around as you had seen a change in the dog, but the dog still does the same and the fact the grandparents won’t leave the dog for a while why?
Have they not trained the dog to be alone ?
what would happen if they left the dog ?

I just wouldn’t go . Your son has a fear and your parent’s attitude doesn’t help.
This is on them not you. .

This.

I wouldn't take my child there. He was jumped on and the dog drew blood. I think that would be enough for me to keep my DC away unless the dog was properly trained and they were introduced again in a calm manner.

It doesn't sound like their dog is trained. What breed is it?

I'd refuse to go to theirs and if they prioritize their dog and won't visit you without him, their loss.

Just dont see why people are suggesting shouldnt be in the house at all, not even in a shut off room. Doesn't sound like a rabid dog who's going to break down the door.

It doesn't sound like the GPs would be willing to do this though, if they don't think there's an issue.

😄
This is the best idea. Tell the owners you're being a good girl by not allowing your kid to be bitten by their dog again.

What is it with a lot of dog owners these days, that they can’t go anywhere without their animal?
We had a lovely little terrier for 13 years but she was a pet and was left at home or put in another room if anyone uncomfortable with dogs visited. She was perfectly content in her chair in our bedroom window with the radio on.
We didn’t replace her when she passed but we have cats. Equally, if anyone not comfortable with them visits, they go in another room or out if the weather is fine.

I can’t imagine ever putting a pet above our grandchild.

This 💯

Stand firm @blowuptiger.
They sound awful.
Are they your parents ?

Sorry, did you say the dog bit your boy's face and drew blood? Why is this even a question? In fact why does this dog still exist??

Because it was a puppy and puppies do things like this before they are trained to play with humans. He was just doing what he was doing with his litter mates. You can’t destroy every puppy who draws blood, their teeth are like tiny shark teeth in the beginning and they don’t know what’s OK yet. The problem is that he’s still not trained.

Absolutely.
I hope you're not taking your son there, having read the replies.

Stop saying DS is “too scared” and start saying “your dog is too badly trained—you’ve ruined him. WE won’t be coming, or having you and dog as visitors, until YOU have properly trained him.” Take the onus off your child.

The dog could have accidentally blinded or otherwise severely scarred your child for life. Intentions don’t matter when it comes to dogs—actions do. These grandparents need a good talking too. Stop putting your child in harm’s way.

This completely - playful puppy is diff to an aggressive adult dog. My puppy bit my ear once, think she thought it was a toy. 🤣😰

I am obviously an adult - and one that trained that puppy not to do it again. (Diff to OP I wouldn’t put my child in this situation again with an untrained dog GPs are not prepared to shut in another room for a few hours!)

The grandparents need to put DGS before the dog . It does sound like an over existed puppy rather than a dangerous dog .
But the dog should now be trained or start training now .
Dog on lead until it interacts correctly with DS . Any poor behaviour dog is taken to another room.

Grandparents need to acknowledge DGS feelings.

This with Bells on. Bloody putting dog before your grand children - ridiculous behaviour

This 100%.

the dog needs to be kept in a different room or you don’t go

Because it's not an aggressive dog. It's young and overexcited and hasn't been trained or taught manners by the stupid owners. They are likely the lazy variety of dog owner that doesn't want to put the work into training, and those owners should not exist.

I've taught ds to be firm and say 'no' with a hand up etc but he just panics

wrong advice. Arms up, dog up. Arms down, dog down. A young dog will think he is playing if he is waving his arms and making a noise. Arms by your side, turn your back and ignore.

This