My ds doesn't want to go to grandparents because of their dog

[blowuptiger]

Ds is 5 almost 6. He used to live going to grandparents until they had a puppy 18 months ago, at first he loved the puppy (he loves dogs in general) but then the pup got over excited and used to snap at ds face. Once drawing blood just under his eye!
It's really scared ds understandably. The pup even tho almost 2 years still gets excited when he sees ds and bounds towards him and jumps to his face. I've taught ds to be firm and say 'no' with a hand up etc but he just panics.

We haven't seen grandparents for months now and seven arranged to go over today (Boxing Day) but ds is really not wanting to go and it's making it very hard.

I've asked grandparents to come here without the dog but they won't leave the dog at home alone!!!! So I thought best thing would be that we go there and can come away when/if ds gets too upset.

Grand parents just dismiss ds worry and say that Ddog is a good boy/he won't hurt you/don't he silly etc etc. it doesn't help with ds worrying.

This^

You just need to firmly state that unless the dog is put in another room, you won't be visiting. If they can't understand why your DS is afraid, they must be a bit dense to be honest!

Just to clarify OP, was the biting when the dog was still a puppy or did it continue after the puppy had matured? As you said 'used to' in your post and a lot of people seem to have assumed that meant the dog was still biting (which of course would not be okay)
As opposed to a puppy biting which is 100% normal. Still will have unnerved your son, obviously, but I think it's probs important to clarify here so normal puppy biting isn't extrapolated into dangerous dog behaviour.

Came to say exactly the same. People seem to forget that even small dogs are proportionally HUGE to small children and scary

There have been plenty of reports about dogs escaping the spare room and hurting and even killing people. On a separate note, I wouldn't take my child anywhere where they feel unsafe. Their emotional health is just as important as their physical safety

Don’t think it’s necessary to ‘put the dog outside’. Putting in another part of the house with shut door though.

Could it be kept on a lead when you are there? If not then don't go.

Link? Can’t imagine plenty of dogs escaping a room with a shut door attacking and killing people unless they can turn the handle. May have happened very (very) rarely, but certainly not ‘plenty’. Agree that dog should absolutely be kept in a secure room away from OPs DS.

Huge dog lover here and this is on the grandparents and not fair on the child or the dog. When it all goes very seriously wrong.....and its already gone wrong big time, the child and the dog will pay.....the child by injury and the dog by being pts. Put your foot down, stay away and be clear to them why. People like that should never have dogs.

Both you and your parents are in the wrong. Them for not training the dog and you for continuing to expose your dog to the dog that bit him

they had a puppy 18 months ago, at first he loved the puppy (he loves dogs in general) but then the pup got over excited and used to snap at ds face. Once drawing blood just under his eye!

So, young puppy mouthed child that was likely overstimulating it? Puppies mouth. When they are young (and breed dependent it can take 2-3 years) they try and play the way they would with littermates - lots of mouthing and snapping.

I’d be very interested to know just how young the puppy was when this incident occurred.

Don’t go if you don’t want to. But sounds to me like your child was doing what all children do - winding the puppy up - and the puppy did what all puppies do - mouthed, lunged and got excited - and it was a perfect storm. Children should never be close to puppies or dogs without a human in between - precisely so incidents like this don’t happen.

When the ILs agreed to shut their bitey dog in another room, the ILs would always find some reason they needed to go in there and the dog would 'accidentally' slip out. Now we only go round if the dog is physically not at home. It's frustrating that they still think we're overreacting and it's a source of tension, but I'm over trying to accommodate their "baby".

They don't need to understand how he feels they need to have the dog no where near him or anyone else

It has drawn blood does it take the dog killing someone for at least one adult to take this seriously

Responsible dog owners don’t say stupid things like ‘he won’t hurt you’ because that does nothing to reassure someone who is scared of dogs, becasue plainly no one can guarantee that any dog won’t hurt you. Responsible dog owners out their dog in another room away from the guest.

We use to put our pup, who's excitable on her lead. She was kept away from our granddaughter until she was happy to clap the pup. Usually took 10 mins. But she had the decision of when the dog could be let of her lead. Now she could not careless and they adore each other. Phone them, tell them the situation and just ask for the dog to be held on its lead till your son is comfortable. If they say no just say you're not going then.

Stand up for your son and tell his grandparents firmly this is not happening. If your son needs life changing surgery for
facial scars you’ll never forgive yourself .

I only follow the mainstream news. Do a bit of Googling if you must. I am a dog owner, btw

The dog isn't a good boy and your son's concern is through experience with that dog he is not being irrational.

I also understand if they cant leave dog all day but could they not put him in another room for a while?

You need to take responsibility for this. Either "I'm not bringing DS, the dog is too rough and I don't feel comfortable with it around him."

Ir, if you insist on going. You put yourself between DS and the dog and you command it away.

You're supposed to protect your child, you've allowed a dog to bite his face and you continue to put him close to it but hey, you've told him to tell it no, right.

That's not what the OP means at all, what worries her is that the grandparents don't seem to be the slightest bit concerned about their grandchild's safety. The OP is concerned about the safety and fears of her ds, hence the thread.

Wow at the GPs' responses. I agree with the others, i would not dismiss DS' feelings at all and drawing blood is not safe. i would not be going if they won't leave the dog (and I am a dog owner).

Absolutely. It's their choice.

Why is this being put on the small child being afraid, and not an adult decision to protect him?

I wouldn't care if my 5 year old was desperate to go round and see the dog I as the adult would say no because the dog bit his face!

My DS used to love dogs until he was attacked by an out of control dog that escaped its garden (because the owners refused to fix the broken fence). I wouldn't force your DS to go to his grandparents until the dog is trained properly and, even then, I would ask them to keep it in a separate area for the length of your visit.

Once drawing blood just under his eye!

Grand parents just dismiss ds worry and say that Ddog is a good boy/he won't hurt you/don't he silly

Nope. Delusional dog owners who are blind to their dog's faults and refuse to just train it properly don't get visited by my young children.