If adverts were truthful and showed what it was really like to use their products, what would they actually be like?

[cakeorwine]

National Lottery - instead of showing someone winning a £1,000,000, it would show loads and loads of people buying a ticket, checking the numbers and not winning at all.

Booking.Com - it would show someone researching, looking at reviews, endlessly filtering, doing more research and finally booking a place. After checking with the other people to see if they approved

I am sure people can think of some more.

Drain unblocker. It wouldn't be all cartoon germs and animated diagrams of pipes magically unblocking in bright primary colours, it would be somebody dry retching
heaving, and looking the other way as they unscrew the cup thing under the sink and it makes a whooshing, vomiting noise and expels everything that has been troubling it into a bucket.

'Avoid this situation with Green Gobbler/Destop/whatever it is in your country."

Car adverts - rather than zooming glamorously along deserted city streets, it would be bumper-to-bumper M25. In drizzle.

Perfume adverts
Some poor bastard boxing up bottles and not a fiery word, scantily clad woman or bird of prey insight.

All shampoos , no model thin beautiful woman or man in a hot steamy shower enjoing the wonderful scents in peace and quiet.
Average looking Joanne/ Joe with shampoo in their eyes with some one beating on the bathroom every 5 mins

There is a Ricky Gervais film about a world where nobody lies. It Shows an ad for Pepsi and it says " When there is no Coca Cola... drink Pepsi"

Spray mops - somebody trying it for ten seconds before giving up in disgust and getting a bucket of hot soapy water and a scrubbing brush, muttering 'Forty fucking quid, I spent forty fucking quid on that pile of shit'.

Theme park adverts - people would be in massive queues, complaining about people using fast track, being shocked at the price of the food and only doing a few rides at the end of the day.

We use them at work ( vilda professional) and I agree . They are great for "bugger I just spilt some coffee" moments, they are crap at proper cleaning .

I always wonder why perfume adverts can't, at the bare minimum, say what it actually smells of, you know, the entire point of perfume!

Coca Cola. A big sweaty builder belching.

Kitchen cupboard graveyard- home of all the gadgets you thought you needed ....

Boots the chemist have this ‘magical’ uber perky, celeb filled christmas advert while our local Boots has zero festive cheer and the staff practically slap you as you walk in. Actual advert should show customer having frustrating interaction with surly Boots staff before pissing off for Superdrug over the road where staff are smiley and lovely and actually happy to serve you.

Serious point, why are staff in Superdrug so much happier than Boots. Also Poundland staff are always bloody lovely, same as Willko (may the lord rest her soul)

Airline advert - massive queues at the airport, trying to get the right amount of baggage in the suitcase, complaining about the parking, security waits, cramped seats.

Shark vacuum cleaner- a person sobbing as a large sum of their money is thrown on a fire

And they'd never have the model sensuously rubbing their shoulder; instead, they'd be trying to adopt a really ugly-awkward position, with their cheek pushed against the shower wall, pained look on their face, and trying to soap up their stinky bum crack!

Occasionally, they do actually show realistic and truthful adverts - like this one:

Marks and Spencers - you walk into what looks rather like the last days of Rome held in the back of an old people's home whilst they're clearing out a couple of deceased residents' rooms and the Zombie Apocalypse has commenced outside.

The space is largely lit by the crackles of static electricity flickering between the piles on the floor, a security guard is battling with somebody near the malfunctioning automatic door and there's a wall of ditzy floral dresses to struggle through like Marion struggles through the skeletons in the Well of Souls in Raiders of the Lost Ark before you can escape.

Then you get home, try the trousers and jumper on and find that you need the arm length of a six year old, a shoulder to waist measurement of the average nine year old and the leg length of one of those stilt walkers you get at council festivals.

These are all great! Reminds of the Prost Lexus ad, let me see if I can post it..
https://www.instagram.com/livewithlynda/reel/Czde7evIEWU/

@NeverDropYourMooncup , we have definitely been in the same shop !

IKEA.

Subway - loads of people following an amazing smell to be disappointed by doughy bread, limp brown lettuce and moist cheese.

Also IKEA

I'm beginning to think you might live near me...

I actually can’t stand the smell of subway…

Washing powder/gel/liquid/pods - the clothes come out as creased as f--k not freshly ironed.