Anything you'd like to say to someone before you spend christmas with them?

[Dappy777]

Most of us have to bite our tongue over Christmas. Is there someone you dislike but will have to see during Christmas and New Year? Since you can't say it out loud, get it off your chest on MN! I'll start:

1. To my brother in law. You've got a good heart, and you're a good husband, but jesus you are such a flippin oaf. You hold your knife and fork like a toddler, eat with your mouth open, smack your lips together, burp, fart, pick your nose, and snort with laughter at inappropriate things. This year, please don't take your shoes and socks off and put your smelly size 12 feet on my coffee table. How is it possible to have so little self-awareness?

2. To my cousin. No, the universe does not revolve around you. Try listening to what the other person is saying instead of waiting impatiently for them to finish. You don't talk to or with people. You talk at them. It's breathtaking. Like all self-centred people you are sooooooo boring. You've never read a book, and don't have any interest in current affairs. In fact, you don't seem interested in anything but yourself. No interest in sport, music, film, science, art...nothing. Just boasting and bigging yourself up. I've never met anyone so incapable of talking objectively. No matter what the subject, you have to bring it back to you.

SIL - please please please have a shower before you come round. Christmas is ruined every year by your foul odour meaning no one wants to sit within six feet you, we have to have all the windows open and fumigate the furniture after you've left.

DM, please stop fiinding creative ways to tell me I'm fat. I do actually know.

Not seeing anyone apart from my husband and kids from now until boxing day and I can't bloody wait so nothing I want to say to anyone! Really feel for you all who have to put up with some of these people!

I couldn't turn up somewhere empty handed for me that's just stingy and lazy.
Bil does just that but will accept endless cups of tea, pastries etc.
Doesn't even come in with a packet of biscuits.

Please answer her back that you can do something about being fat.
But she will always be stupid!!.

DS please realise that you don't always have to do whatever your DW wants, you have parents too and next year you'll be a dad and we'd like a relationship with DC. DW's parents are not more important than us no matter what she says. Grow a backbone please.

To my darling mil

I love you,you treat me like your own dd,your the mother I wish I'd had (rather than the narc bitch I was stuck with) and I worship the ground you walk on

But for fuck sake,sit down!your not getting any younger and we want to help

Let us help-i can cook,tidy up and wash up

(So can dp-hes much tidier than i am and he enjoys doing it)

You wear yourself out every year and I'd love for you to sit back with your vodka and lime and allow us to pamper you for one whole day,rather than batting us away with a tea towel

I promise we won't burn your house down,break every plate you own or make more mess than we started with

Lots of love,Tracy xxx

haha...I love this. The soupmaker made me laugh out loud.

If you must "pop round" over Christmas, please don't bring your horrible, spoiled, sulky, rude daughters. They both have absolutely filthy manners. I make them a drink and they just take it without even looking at me, let alone thanking me. In fact, I've never heard either of them say please or thankyou. Do you really think it's OK for a 15-year-old girl to say "I'm bored, can't we go yet?" when in someone else's house? If I had said that as a toddler my parents would have corrected me and told me not to be so rude.

BIL’s we are so fucking bored of the same old same old boring unfunny stories of your past!!! Stop living in the past and make some new stories for the love of god!! Also why do we have to have Xmas dinner at 9pm because you get so pissed it takes 90973839 hours for it to be ready, honestly I’ve offered to cook enough times! Really Oliver on the telly again!! I AM SO BORED OF THIS SAME SHIT YEAR IN YEAR OUT!!!!!

It was probably that along with a whole raft of other shit, I used to really like him, he was a refreshing ray of sunshine in DH's annoying family but as I say, they broke him and now he's no fun AT ALL

DH's Aunt
Thanks for telling me I looked awful when I took an hour out of running around like blue arsed fly to drop your presents off.
It was like having my Mother back all over again

To my (very nice) mil - it would be nice to have a conversation instead of just being talked at. If the person your speaking to hasn't said anything for 5 minutes and / or has a glazed expression, they're probably not that interested. You might want to think about asking them a question and trying to find a bit of common ground.

I feel like I've read about The MIL And The Soupmaker on another thread and am praying for you that one doesn't appear under the tree 😂

Ex-BIL we have hosted you for Christmas dinner (and assorted other family gatherings) at SIL’s request for at least the last 9 years since you two broke up so that you get to spend the day with your kids, you turn up empty handed every year, would a box of biscuits or a bottle of wine for the hosts kill you?
It’s really not about the gift, it’s the thought! We buy him a present every year to make sure he’s not left out.

Yes! That’d be me. (But keep my Buck’s Fizz topped up).

DF, as you only have three topics of conversation (your health, your money, your car) and we have heard them all many times before, it would do you good to listen to the answers of rhe questions you throw out.

DEveryone coming to us: offering to help when my carefully coordinated and planned cooking is in hand is not helpful. It does not mean i wouldn’t welcome someone doing the washing up but you all conveniently fall asleep during that point.

DParents, if I have to grimace and look grateful for a Shit Present this year I’m going to scream. I am perfectly truthful when I say don’t buy me anything because it is the thought that counts and there is… no thought in a packet of tea towels.

DC I’m sorry we have to have these people you don’t like much on Christmas Day. At least it’s only for a few hours. I promise when you’re grown ups to put no obligations on you for as long as I can manage to.

I am desperately feeling squeezed middle at the moment, and I’m hosting people I’m related to and broadly who I don’t like very much on Christmas Day out of duty.

I know I'm shite at singing but pleeeeeease let's do Kareoke!

No thank goodness. I no longer see my toxic remaining family after my last parent died.

Love you all but can you PLEASE make even the slightest effort to help tidy up your wrapping paper or take your dishes & put them in the dishwasher?
That's to my teens and my husband. I'll say it to the teens & look at DH while I say it and they'll all leave their crap where it lands.

To my MIL - we will all chip in with cleaning and dishes once the food has settled in our bellies. PLEASE stop getting up huffing and cleaning the moment you are finished eating!!!

@Showerflowers how beautiful ❤️ tell him anyway

Dear host could you please remind your guests now that you have a shoe free household so please bring slippers because your hard flooring can be very cold. Not pleasant at all especially for older guests.

Truth is, I don't think Christmas is that great.
It's a great big expensive chore.
I love you all but I'm quite happy to see you any other day of the year without the pretence that Christmas day is extra special.

I know you mean well but we really don't need you to organise our fun. We're all grown ups and we know what we like and dislike. It really doesn't matter if people don't all join in with the same things over the festivities and every year you waste so much time trying and failing to come up with a plan that everyone will enjoy. We mainly go along with it out of politeness but honestly, everyone would be happier if we were allowed to just chill out. The days do not need a rigid timetable.