Think I've joined a toxic workplace

[Shabba2025]

How would you play it? How long would you give it so that it boosts your CV? I need the job on my CV and I need the income. Sorry for the brevity but I'm pushed for time. What would you put in place to deal with it?

I would put feelers out for another role quickly. Stay at the job if you need it, but interview elsewhere in the meantime. Can you explain a short stint on your CV as it being a contract role? Or I would be tempted to say in interviews ‘the role didn’t turn out to be what had been advertised’. Keep the explanation short and unemotional.

I need to stay for a while. How would you react to a boss who talked you like rubbish?

I would join a union and keep a diary of all incidents and try to get evidence such as emails. You could phone Acas for advice.

I would be polite and professional and grey rock everyone.

I would keep my head down, and be applying like mad and get out of there sharpish. It's easy to explain away as temping or whatever. It won't get better from here so just get out when you can.

I'd find an excuse to leave, or I'd ask them why they think it's okay to speak to me like that

Aarrrghh! I really need to do at least 6 months as an absolute minimum, but good shout at recording everything. Get in head down etc. The trouble is it's really hard to ask questions on how to do the job as she gets pissed off, and if somethings not right she gets pissed off- I've been there a few weeks- I really don't know how to do the bloody job! I'm just going to have to be brave. What responses would you have ready in these situations?

How horrible for you. What sort of role are you in? If it were me and I needed to find a way of staying for a while but knowing I will leave as soon as I can, I think I would very calmly say something like this to her when she's being a nightmare:

"Jane, I can see that you are annoyed with me, but I'm trying to do my job and I need this information, so I would really appreciate it if you could help me" - things like that. Never raise your voice, but don't shy away or cower.

I have actually said to a boss before "I think you are being quite unfair in the way you are speaking to me, I don't deserve to be spoken to like that" but I had been in role a while and am quite senior and knew I would be ok to say it. Doubt you feel you can?

Get some training elsewhere/online?

What sort of length of service were your previous jobs? If decent, I think a three month stint it fine, be tactful but honest in interviews - it’s a bad fit. Alongside otherwise decent tenure, I doubt it matters.

First of all, get looking. Might not be practical now but certainly after Christmas. Even if you really have to do 6 months, if you started in say mid November that isn't actually too far away. I would take some time to make sure my CV is in order and then get on it.

I have one 6 week stint already on my CV and it's caused me issues in the past.

@CuriousGeorge80 those phrases are perfect, thank you!

Would you be comfortable asking for a meeting with her? Be very friendly of course, very professional, but just say something like "I've got a list of things I'd love to run through with you. I'd really like to tuck into this role, and I can see it's frustrating for you when the outcome isn't as it should be. Could we just clear a few points up and then I can move forward?"

Stays on her good side, bit suck up yes, but she sounds like a pain so I'd just appeal to her ego a bit if you really do need to keep the job for a while. Takes the wind out of her sails too; it's hard to bite when there's nothing to catch! And do not show that she's upsetting you even if she is! Smile and stay composed even if you break down later.

I would say ‘let me know when is a good time to show me how to do X. I’ll write it up so it’s documented for next time’

just assume the boss is mad as a brush and just speak slowly and not get upset by whatever comes back. Take lots of notes!

also do CV and network so you are ready to jump ship

ale

Do you feel emotionally wounded by it or you can pretend you didn't hear and keep plodding on

But not so many issues you couldn't get another job.
I had a few short term jobs. I've always left it as "not as advertised" or training not available. I wouldn't worry, but get looking and don't feel obliged to stick it out for six months if something better crops up.

Stays on her good side, bit suck up yes, but she sounds like a pain so I'd just appeal to her ego a bit if you really do need to keep the job for a while. Takes the wind out of her sails too; it's hard to bite when there's nothing to catch! And do not show that she's upsetting you even if she is! Smile and stay composed even if you break down later

This is great, and all the other advice. Yes she is mad and is barely tolerated by everyone. She is a 'character'. She is a difficult woman but she is powerful. The department is a bit of a shitshow and I can see me being unable to keep up and taking the fall for it all, when in fact, it is unmanageable.

@Foreigners88 I will really struggle to deal with unjustified criticism and general meanness. I will take it to heart and question my abilities. This is why I need advice!

I personally would move quick and say the truth to potential employers adding the impact of her on the team productivity and mood etc
I did just that and it was considered a strength
Be mindful people like that will affect your confidence big time and in 6 months you might not be very strong

How long were you in your previous role? If a while then I would be looking to jump ship asap. I really don’t think it will be a disadvantage if you were in last role for a decent length of time. The 6 week thing you refer to would be an odd one off issue unless you had not had decent tenures at that point.

I was in my last role for over 2 years. This role is about me returning to my profession after a child sized gap (although I've always worked). This was the only organisation to give me that break and I really need it in order to progress to any sort of decent money, prospects etc.

Get out as fast as you can. Don’t worry about gaps / length of employment on your CV you can find a way to legitimately explain that.

this happened to me a couple of years ago. I got a bad feeling about the director interviewing me and turned out she was a total bitch, spoke to the team like 💩 had very unrealistic expectations of us too.

they could tell I disliked the company culture, face didn’t fit sort of situation and no surprise they picked me for redundancy after 18 months of working there.

was a relief looking back when I saw how they treated people.

I think when you know somewhere is toxic employers can just tell you don’t like it there and single you out… I wasn’t very good at masking anyway and often called things out

I've got a few three month stints on my CV, I also have a couple of jobs that only lasted 6-8 months.
I haven't had any problems getting a job due to that - I do also have jobs that I have been in for 5+ years so that probably helps.
If/when it is brought up in interviews I am honest and tell them that I won't stay somewhere I am not happy or don't fit in, I think the confidence to own what you have done and why you have done it goes a long way.

Figure out what works with her. Notice if her bark is followed by a bite, or if it blows over. Whether she is relationship orientated or process oriented. Read 'surrounded by idiots' to help with this. Figure out a strategy for managing her (like if you were forced to work with Donald Trump and just had to somehow preserve your salary and reputation).
Preserve your self esteem, be teflon to criticism or attack (let it slide off) do be assertive and self confident but don't attack back.
Work out if you have any potential allies there, but don't be sucked into negativity, bitching or complaining and don't trust anyone totally in a toxic place.
Start applying for other roles from the 4 month mark, but look now at your next move, jobs take time, and if you can learn added skills in the meantime do that. Your game plan will keep you protected and motivated.
The moment this shows signs of impacting your long term health or mental health, get out, it's not worth it.

I returned to work after DC last February into a role with similar issues. The manager has too much power as boss relies on them & we aren't even allowed to send an email without permission.

There's no training, just negative feedback when I do it incorrectly. You're supposed to figure it out yourself. This stuff has a lot of legal compliance requirements too! I've had two nasty emails this week alone.

I remind myself the problem isn't my ability, but their inability to manage. I call on my previous experience to push back professionally & let her know I'm not her scapegoat. I've actually refused to do a task until trained properly.

It's not worth my mental health, and I have also discovered I am paid less than other staff, so after a holiday in April & I'll be moving on. Bext part is staff turnover is high & referees are easy to get!

If you are able to find a mentor/ sounding board in real life to meet with and support you that might help. I met mine once a moth over coffee. Gave ma great perspective and kept me sane. Toxic workplaces silently erode your confidence over time which impacts your self confidence to get a new job. Look after your mental health while you go through this.

I always found killing them with kindness really helps, nothing over the top, a few compliments here and there, if asking for help/advice word it in a way where you compliment her knowledge and would appreciate her experience/advice. It will get you through, they're under the impression that you like them and it'll give you enough time to get the 6 months on your CV. You'll leave with a good reference, reputation and name and never speak bad of them to anyone unless it's to someone you are extremely close to like a partner. Always speak highly of them to others in the work place because everyone is only too delighted to pass on negative things.