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Original poster

Think I've joined a toxic workplace

109 replies

Shabba2025 · 19/12/2024 14:30

How would you play it? How long would you give it so that it boosts your CV? I need the job on my CV and I need the income. Sorry for the brevity but I'm pushed for time. What would you put in place to deal with it?

OP posts:
DrIggyFrome · 20/12/2024 10:28

I've given it 2 years, and it has been 2 years too long. If you can find something new now find something new now.

Original poster
Shabba2025 · 20/12/2024 19:21

I nearly cried today. More of my work picked apart like a critical teacher- how about you actually sit with me and train me?? How do you speak to a superior about their tone? The set up is a shit show- way too much for one newbie to get to grips with, and like dh said: it's their fucking mess that they have created over the last how many years.

I'm going to try and park it as I don't want it to ruin my Christmas. The advice here is brilliant, so thank you very much!

OP posts:
Happierthaneverr · 20/12/2024 19:23

I applied for new jobs within two weeks of starting a bad job, and I have no regrets. It really didn’t matter that I moved on quickly on that one occasion. It’s a job, not a prison sentence.

Original poster
Shabba2025 · 21/12/2024 06:59

@Happierthaneverr how did you get time off for interviews?

Can someone please advise how I phrase this when I'm trying to work, the pressure is on, they are critical (it's two of them) of what I've produced or not produced- how do I stop them placing the blame on me? I literally walked through their door two weeks ago. How do I say, look, I just got here, and I don't know what I'm doing, ease off??

OP posts:
Original poster
Shabba2025 · 30/12/2024 04:56

Aaargghh back to it today. I've been worrying all Christmas and have barely slept.

OP posts:
skippinginto2025 · 30/12/2024 05:40

Edizzler25 · 20/12/2024 05:58

Get out as fast as you can. Don’t worry about gaps / length of employment on your CV you can find a way to legitimately explain that.

this happened to me a couple of years ago. I got a bad feeling about the director interviewing me and turned out she was a total bitch, spoke to the team like 💩 had very unrealistic expectations of us too.

they could tell I disliked the company culture, face didn’t fit sort of situation and no surprise they picked me for redundancy after 18 months of working there.

was a relief looking back when I saw how they treated people.

I think when you know somewhere is toxic employers can just tell you don’t like it there and single you out… I wasn’t very good at masking anyway and often called things out

I agree, get out as fast as you can.

I have recently left a toxic workplace as there were two managers there who wanted me out by any means as my face didn't fit. They basically bullied me out of a job I really enjoyed doing. I believe that they even alienated other colleagues against me.

Following counselling, I finally found the strength to look for another job and finally found one that suited me better.

I have never ever been so relieved to get out of a place so fast.

Edizzler25 · 30/12/2024 05:57

Shabba2025 · 30/12/2024 04:56

Aaargghh back to it today. I've been worrying all Christmas and have barely slept.

Focus your time and energy on an exit plan… will be so much more productive and help your mental health

Edizzler25 · 30/12/2024 06:01

skippinginto2025 · 30/12/2024 05:40

I agree, get out as fast as you can.

I have recently left a toxic workplace as there were two managers there who wanted me out by any means as my face didn't fit. They basically bullied me out of a job I really enjoyed doing. I believe that they even alienated other colleagues against me.

Following counselling, I finally found the strength to look for another job and finally found one that suited me better.

I have never ever been so relieved to get out of a place so fast.

Show quote history

Sorry to hear this, so many similar horror stories!!

they probably did turn other colleagues against you sadly. I witnessed bad bullying, my manager used to gossip with the team
with messages outside of work and he’d hugely stir the pot before progress update meetings etc (and make members of the team believe that person wasn’t pulling their weight, was ignoring instructions) against the particular person they had the vendetta against that month. Set unrealistic targets for junior staff and then put them on a PIP when they inevitably couldn’t meet said demands.

ThunderLeaf · 30/12/2024 06:08

Shabba2025 · 30/12/2024 04:56

Aaargghh back to it today. I've been worrying all Christmas and have barely slept.

I have been in similar and I employed a private therapist for 2 months in run up to me quitting, just to try and bolster myself up mentally. Therapist thought the situation was disgraceful.

I was so stressed and unfortunately live rural so even driving for 30 minutes radius job were not abundant so had limited options.

I ended up resigning, my team and my manager were toxic as they come.

My mind wanted to keep going but my body had other ideas and I developed insomnia. I resigned on a Thursday to senior manager who tried her best to get me to stay and after a long and open chat I agreed to stay on.

The following Friday I literally handed in my notice, explained I was regretful to leave under the circumstances etc etc and walked out as I was getting targeted by the team, workwise after the senior manager tried to rein them in.

Senior manager wrote me a very nice goodbye email, saying the understand, wish me the best, they will support me with a reference, sorry to see me go etc etc.

It was a great job and. I was good at it. But my mind and soul couldn't cope being around black hearted toxic people any longer.

Good luck x

Original poster
Shabba2025 · 30/12/2024 06:11

I have recently left a toxic workplace as there were two managers there who wanted me out by any means as my face didn't fit. They basically bullied me out of a job I really enjoyed doing. I believe that they even alienated other colleagues against me

A current colleague who's leaving has told me of two instances of this happening. Of course I take it with a pinch of salt, but I know it's true! How horrible for you. I think that even if I persevere for now I will end up in this situation. I've started applying but it will be a pay cut and status cut unfortunately.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 30/12/2024 06:17

Shabba2025 · 19/12/2024 19:41

Aarrrghh! I really need to do at least 6 months as an absolute minimum, but good shout at recording everything. Get in head down etc. The trouble is it's really hard to ask questions on how to do the job as she gets pissed off, and if somethings not right she gets pissed off- I've been there a few weeks- I really don't know how to do the bloody job! I'm just going to have to be brave. What responses would you have ready in these situations?

Request formal training / shadowing

go into every meeting fully prepare with exactly what you need to know.

check your original role spec on which they recruited you. - is it very different to the actual work you're doing. Eg you were brought in as an administrator and they now want you to be an operations manager when they haven't told you anything about how the business runs.

when the boss gets cross at you, take a deep breathe and ask them to explain which aspect of what you've discussed is frustrating to them because you need the information to be able to deliver what they need.

if the boss is expecting you to hit the ground running with no training or support, after only a few weeks, they are toxic and must be losing staff like a leaky sieve.

ETA reading your updates, it sounds like the situation is irretrievable- you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear etc.

i would go to whatever interviews you need. Be prepared for them to sack you, but they have to give you statutory notice (UK) of 1 week. You may need to bite the bullet if your MH is at stake

JustMyView13 · 30/12/2024 06:19

Shabba2025 · 21/12/2024 06:59

@Happierthaneverr how did you get time off for interviews?

Can someone please advise how I phrase this when I'm trying to work, the pressure is on, they are critical (it's two of them) of what I've produced or not produced- how do I stop them placing the blame on me? I literally walked through their door two weeks ago. How do I say, look, I just got here, and I don't know what I'm doing, ease off??

You politely thank them for their feedback, and ask them to schedule in some training as part of your onboarding. You then make a diary entry of what was said, who said it, date and time. This is mainly for your own sanity, and to help you clap back if you need to. But also when you doubt whether you should leave so soon ‘is it really that bad!?’ Future you has proof from current you that yes, yes it was.

Meanwhile, you spend every waking hour finding another job. You can package this current role however you like:

  • role isn’t as described
  • interim position
  • culturally not aligned with your core beliefs
  • hours required exceed those discussed at interview - work/life balance
Chances are this firm has a reputation that goes before them in the recruiting world.
RedHelenB · 30/12/2024 06:20

Shabba2025 · 21/12/2024 06:59

@Happierthaneverr how did you get time off for interviews?

Can someone please advise how I phrase this when I'm trying to work, the pressure is on, they are critical (it's two of them) of what I've produced or not produced- how do I stop them placing the blame on me? I literally walked through their door two weeks ago. How do I say, look, I just got here, and I don't know what I'm doing, ease off??

Ask them bluntly for the help you need.

ExceededUsefulEconomicLife · 30/12/2024 06:23

When did the 6 week stint cause you issues? I think people have a different attitude to this sort of thing since Covid. It helps no one to stay where you're not happy when the job market is so mobile.

I've moved a lot since Covid (third job since redundancy in 21) and I've simply stated that once I realise I cannot grow in a company, I look for the next. It's, so far, only helped.

Original poster
Shabba2025 · 30/12/2024 06:39

Ask them bluntly for the help you need

I have done this but it hasn't gone down well. They are too busy to want to deal with me.

Yes, they cannot recruit, and I do think they might be known.

My main concern for this month is that they are expecting me to run everything myself, and the high pressure that goes along with that, when I'm still trying to get my head round the basics.They know it's not possible, but they want me to make it all go away and then get pissed off when I ask/I've done something incorrect (I can't know its incorrect as I have no knowledge).

OP posts:
BonnyBugbear · 30/12/2024 06:47

Find another job then leave. I've been where you are and it's not pleasant at all.

OrangesCinammonIvy · 30/12/2024 06:49

Op what a ridiculous situation, we had something similar at work where training is utterly appalling and instead of stepping into help people are criticised.

Original poster
Shabba2025 · 30/12/2024 06:56

@JustMyView13 thank you, I'm screenshotting these.

I really appreciate the solidarity and advice. It's really frustrating as I'm 100% the right person for the job. My brain is brimming with ideas on how to improve things, but looks like they wouldn't have the time and patience to work with me.

OP posts:
UpSkilling · 30/12/2024 06:59

This is one side of the story. It might be toxic but it also could be that you applied for a role that isn't suitable for you.

JustMyView13 · 30/12/2024 07:03

UpSkilling · 30/12/2024 06:59

This is one side of the story. It might be toxic but it also could be that you applied for a role that isn't suitable for you.

They hired OP. So if true, that’s on them for not having appropriate recruiting processes in place to select a suitably qualified candidate.

Also, they remain responsible for the onboarding. It sounds like they want to skip that part.

OP, honestly just focus on surviving each day, and getting that next role lined up. No point dwelling on this one, it’ll suck too much of your energy.

Original poster
Shabba2025 · 30/12/2024 07:10

This is one side of the story. It might be toxic but it also could be that you applied for a role that isn't suitable for you

Maybe, but I'm over qualified and over experienced- they really are getting a good deal out of me! They have admitted that everything is a mess on their side, but I can't make it right overnight and alone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shabba2025 · 30/12/2024 07:11

Also, they remain responsible for the onboarding. It sounds like they want to skip that part

It's basically this, but then add in the shouting, criticism etc., and this is not just at me, but how I have witnessed them speaking to my colleagues. Alarm bells rang straight away.

OP posts:
NigelHarmansNewWife · 30/12/2024 07:12

Then tell them this. Honestly if they don't listen to you and won't help then get the hell out. Go and do a temporary contract. Why have you taken a step down?

JustMyView13 · 30/12/2024 07:16

NigelHarmansNewWife · 30/12/2024 07:12

Then tell them this. Honestly if they don't listen to you and won't help then get the hell out. Go and do a temporary contract. Why have you taken a step down?

I don’t agree with telling them. One person cannot change a culture. OP has asked for help, they get shouted at.
Employer won’t listen & change so it’s easier to sit tight, take the pay cheque, and focus on the exit plan.

NigelHarmansNewWife · 30/12/2024 07:18

JustMyView13 · 30/12/2024 07:16

I don’t agree with telling them. One person cannot change a culture. OP has asked for help, they get shouted at.
Employer won’t listen & change so it’s easier to sit tight, take the pay cheque, and focus on the exit plan.

Show quote history

I don't agree with staying somewhere you've been for two weeks which is causing you sleepless nights and such misery.