If you live in a different country to your birth - cultural norms you find odd?

[Triffid1]

I am South African originally. As I was dropping DS (13) at his activity last night at 7pm, knowing I'd be picking him at 8:30, I was thinking how I just don't think I'm ever going to get used to the lateness of things for children in this country. I honestly don't think i was out of the house after 6:30 on a school night, ever, until I was about 16!!! Admittedly, we also started our days much earlier - school start was 8:05 I think.

And I admit, I find it even odder because you change your clocks so that it gets light earlier and dark earlier. And certainly where we are (SE England), everything happens LATER, not earlier. I'm also from Cape Town though so to be fair, it gets light much later so getting up in the dark was a pretty normal event in winter for us.

Does anyone else have anything like this that they find odd? Light please - I'm not looking to bash any other cultures just note the differences!

@Triffid1

Trust me, a lot of the local brasseries can be pretty awful, ok if you just want something not too complex.

Maybe I’ve been lucky but have found the steaks here amazing! So many different cuts, lovely char on them, lots of sauce options. Places like Goodman’s and Hawksmoor have great offerings in terms of sides. We tend to just have fries and one type - here you have skinny, beef fat, sweet potato!!

When it comes to child birth men and women are very much not on par at all, the entire burden and effects is on the woman.

When it comes to child rearing rarely are men and women on par (89% of single parents are women and most people in traditional married relationship will find the women do the lions share of child rearing).

If you don't view childcare as a job then are the people who run the creches not working?

Curious if many men work in these creches or if it almost all falls to women too?

@Spaceid Interesting. To be fair, I was usually staying in nice parts of central paris so I imagime that the "slightly dodgy" brasserie was still pretty cosmopolitan?

I agree re Hawksmoor and similar places (I love Hawksmoor, and also really like Gausto) here but in most cases, outside of the really good, specialist restaurants like these, getting a steak isn't great I feel and definitely never good value for money. So I'll eat a steak at Hawksmoor any day, but I won't order one from any of my local pubs, for example.

Admittedly, again, in SA, most pubs could do you a fairly decent steak. Might not be the best steak you've ever eaten, but it would be good. Ditto a piece of grilled fish - doesn't have to be a specialist fish restaurant butyou'd probably get a good piece of fish. And I'm often surprised by how hit and miss fish is in this country.

Yes, Christmas is weird in Germany. Everything crammed in to one afternoon/evening. Then nothing to do for 2 days because everything is shut! They must all be exhausted by the end of Xmas eve.

My DH lived in the UK for a long time and prefers a UK style Christmas with presents and food on 25th and everything a bit more spread out. My MIL came last year after being widowed and she loved it! She asked for Christmas crackers again this year.

Yes about reading books, I still can't get my head round that one. Honestly, I don't think the education system here is anything to shout about. Kids seem to be on the scrap heap if they don't make it to Gymnasium. Many of the teachers seem really uncaring and apathetic too. Having said that, my kids are in the German system and doing OK.

There's good and bad here, public transport is fantastic. Where we live is nice, jobs pay well, great for exploring neighbouring countries as we are close to the border.

I just find German homes a bit spartan and uncomfortable (mine isn't). Hence why the pillows are so crappy!!!

I met an adorable American exchange student who was rushing to class and slipped over on ice. A little old man helped her up and asked if she was OK when she loudly boomed 'Im ok I think, I probably just bruised my fanny' to which he look horrified and scurried off.

We had to explain it to her and she was mortified, just keep say 'I told an old man about my "VAGINA"?'

I think she took her a while to adjust to lots of things like Chips & Cookies not meaning what she thought.

Haha this made me laugh because 8.30 for a 13y/o is nothing compared to the country I live in (southern Europe) - yesterday I was at a club and a little girl, maybe 5 years old, came with her dad to pick up the mum at around 10pm! No-one batted an eyelid.
I'm originally from the UK and this seems very late to me, but I'm adjusting. Funnily enough I've recently made some new friends from South Africa with a child the same age as mine. They are very nice but can never hang out on a school day. Your post helped me understand why!

I'm British and I completely agree with you!

FranklyMyDears I am English and totally agree with you about English people still behaving like cowed peasants towards royalty and their ilk (my words, not yours - you were more diplomatic). I think part of the reason is that the majority employment of English people until into the twentieth century was as domestic servants. It only began to change after WW1.

@Triffid1 we describe them in Germany as crisp bag pillows- every time we take a band on tour in Germany several of our crew take 'blow up pillows' with them - it was the same when we lived in Copenhagen - small, square and very very soft - no support -

I'm originally from Japan currently living in England. It's normal to go to school from 5 or 6years old without parents in my country so I find school run was interesting until I got used to it. Each child in primary and secondary school also gets roles such as serving school lunch and cleaning entire school after school. I thought children in this country are lucky. People might think this sounds like a child labour but in this way, schools can save money from no need to hire cleaners or people who serve food. We can also learn not to waste food and how to clean.

When we lived in Denmark for awhile things I found really odd

Work meetings- everyone round a table, everyone expected to join in and brutal honesty - everyone said what they thought - also huge ( very good) buffet lunches brought in and everyone expected to sit communally and join in

No curtains or blinds ( maybe bedrooms at a push) absolutely no one had lounge blinds or curtains - fantastic for nosey people like me.

Lack of activities for small kids with mums at home- think tumbletots, gymboree etc - most mums were at work, with cheap ( and good) child care

Lots of small shops - hardware, haberdashery, kitchenware etc because they didn't have Amazon - or if you used Amazon Sweden /germany etc - you paid shipping

Babies parked outside cafes frequently in prams.

Coats hung up in totally open areas in bars and cafes

Been in England for 20 years:

• the fact that English children go to bed so early

-the fact that is considered normal for children to wake up so early!(5-6 am)

• after school activities are during what we would consider dinner time (7-8 pm)
• need years to be able to get the actual meaning of what Brits tell you
• how long winters are
• the houses are built terribly,damp and/or weak walls
• most people are friendly but do not want to be friends
• restaurants close so early 10 pm, 11 max
• drinking culture
• adults getting excited for Christmas
• children pushed to believe in father Christmas until they're almost teens
• healthcare is rubbish until you get to consultant level
• private healthcare is incredibly expensive
• countryside can be beautiful in the right weather. Same for forests, lots of greenery in general
• lots of playgrounds around
• playgroups for little kids
• top sheets are very hard to find
• bed sizes are different

This is a very Northern/NW UK thing too.

Oh yes, I don't know if this is still a thing in SA but we used to have to clean classrooms at the end of every term. God forbid children here should have to do labour!

I live in Spain.. when i lived in the uk dinner was at 5. Now its at 10, kids are out until midnight playing when i go back (frequently) mum makes us a "late"dinner at 6...i cant eat it. Im not hungry then makes me smile every time

I hate it too but I have an Irish friend who says it's perfectly normal in Ireland to keep your boots on in the house and is adamant that IABU because hers are 'clean' she's just walked the dog in them. So if you've grown up with it then I suppose it's your 'normal'.

100% this. In the part of irelans I am in the dead person is also waked in their house for 2 days prior to their funeral and I've been to colleagues in laws and all sorts of people's I don't know,to pay respects - this isn't a thing in England

That's what the massive coir mats are for outside the front or back door. And the boot scrapers too.

You would be considered "odd" if you took your shoes off in an Irish house!

Well, it’s normal where I come from.

turnip toffs and pegging

@FranklyMyDears what does that mean?

So much yes to funerals and death! The attitude to this in England absolutely baffled me for ages. Funerals in my home country are big community events and you'd never dream of not sending condolences to someone you even vaguely know who's lost someone.

And the royal family too. It seems so anachronistic and dysfunctional, I really don't get why many British people are so defensive of this utterly mediocre and insanely expensive family.

Yes this! Completely confused me when I moved to South Africa. Asked my assistant to do something and she replied 'I'll do it just now' and several hours later I was wondering what happened. I finally figured out the difference between 'now' 'just now' and 'now now' 😂

In the UK, took me a while to realise 'you alright?' was a greeting and not an actual question and no one wanted me to actually answer. Also shoes indoors - completely unacceptable in my culture and I still find it stressful and awkward here trying to ensure tradesmen, dinner guests etc remove their shoes.

Here in Spain imo the people have more patience , there’s no tutting or sighing which I don’t miss at all.

This is so true. We caused a bit of fuckery taking our van down the wrong road in Malaga and everyone was very patient and helpful while we sorted ourselves out.

Literally first night back in the UK and went into the exit of an unfamilar supermarket and the car coming towards us went nuts, flashing their lights and shouting. Welcome home I guess.

Thanks. She thinks I'm odd, then!

Well for a start this isn’t a communist country so I’d expect it’s quite different, yes!