If you live in a different country to your birth - cultural norms you find odd?

[Triffid1]

I am South African originally. As I was dropping DS (13) at his activity last night at 7pm, knowing I'd be picking him at 8:30, I was thinking how I just don't think I'm ever going to get used to the lateness of things for children in this country. I honestly don't think i was out of the house after 6:30 on a school night, ever, until I was about 16!!! Admittedly, we also started our days much earlier - school start was 8:05 I think.

And I admit, I find it even odder because you change your clocks so that it gets light earlier and dark earlier. And certainly where we are (SE England), everything happens LATER, not earlier. I'm also from Cape Town though so to be fair, it gets light much later so getting up in the dark was a pretty normal event in winter for us.

Does anyone else have anything like this that they find odd? Light please - I'm not looking to bash any other cultures just note the differences!

I also live in Spain and find this odd! I didn't realise it's a calendar-dictated thing though. My (Spanish) husband is often baffled that I'm not wearing winter clothes but I would be boiling if I did and we often get (friendly) comments from neighbours that I mustn't feel the cold. DH really does feel cold generally even when to me it's quite a pleasant temperature but I do think part of that is growing up with cooler summers. I am also constantly surprised to see people in down-filled body warmers when it's 25 degrees, for example.

Another big difference I notice is how many more people live in the city/town centres and how late people, including families, are out and about. It's one of the things that I really love about being here as the city centres feel so much safer and more populated than where I used to live back in the UK and the only people in the city centre in the evenings are out drinking (often too much).

Another vote for pillows here, not so much the comfort but the size. So much smaller than none of my UK pillowcases fit without a long flappy bit at the end!

I forgot this one! I too was utterly confused and assumed I must have looked ill.

@Triffid1 i worked for a South African company for a while. When I first started I got so confused by “ just now” as I thought that meant they’d do it immediately, as opposed to “it’s on the list”. I soon learned that if I needed it quickly I’d need to say “ can you do it now now?” 🤣

houses that aren't built for the climate

Yes, this has surprised me too sometimes. But then, when I lived in Johannesburg I was surprised by how the houses were built for hot weather... great you think. Except Johannesburg winters are absolutely BRUTAL at night and we were all constantly freezing! they definitely needed a middle ground.

well, I'd say that "just now" might not mean it's even on the list..... . It's gloriously ambiguous!

Not me but I had an Aussie housemate.

We once had a conversation that went

Him: It's still light
Me: yes
Him: But it's nearly 10 pm
Me: Uh hu

This went on at intervals for ages.

@JC03745 When I was growing up we used only metric in school but the rest of the country was on imperial so you would get a recipe in metric at school, then you had to convert it to imperial to buy the ingredients.

Also you don't always know things have changed, eg I covered an IT class of ESOL student. I gave them an exercise of checking prices on different supermarket web sites and putting the results in a spread sheet.

Total confusion at one point because I had said, "A pint of milk" and it is actually sold in ml. It's still a pint, just not labelled as such.

Communication or the lack of it. Pussyfooting around issues that should be discussed openly.

I agree it’s the norm for Scotland but I think it’s true to say that about England.

Lol yes!

I live in Spain, agree with PP about dressing for the season.

Other differences are a laid back approach in cafe and restaurants- you can sit with your coffee for hours, no one cares.

Opening hours took a while to get used to, the shops are closed 2pm to 5pm

Very dark mornings! Spain in Central European time although in line with GMT

Also in Spain no fresh milk only long life or milk sold as fresh which actually lasts about a month.

Here in Spain imo the people have more patience , there’s no tutting or sighing which I don’t miss at all.

Also at least my part of Spain there is little air con for insanely hot summer and no heating for the winter and the houses get very cold.

God yes. I have an English friend who I suspect (and she herself suspects) is probably actually ND. It's brilliant becuase she's practically the only English person I know who will say something like, "Okay, we'd like to do this thing. We understand that might not work for you and if so, just let us know." I love it.

Sometimes I tell friends, "okay, I'm going to be South African now and tell you something directly. There are NO underlying messages here, this is 100% what I mean...." and then say whatever it is because it took me years but I eventually realised that when I was being direct no one thougth I was rude (yay) but they DID assume I was actually trying to say somethign else ENTIRELY.

I've also occassionally run English friends to ask them to translate what someone has said to me when I started to realise perhaps they were not actually saying the thing they actually said.

Spaniard here, living in the UK.
First of all, if you think 8 pm is late, you would be shocked in Spain where people meet up at 10 pm to have dinner together, then go to a bar to have a few drinks at 12 am and hit the club at 2 am until 6 am. That is a normal Saturday night.
Now onto your question. After having spent 17 years here I still struggle with the following:

• Bloody imperial system. I was literally two minutes ago reading a thread about weight loss in this forum and this was doing my head in. Some people talk in stone and pounds, others mix up stone and decimal (as in 6.5 st) while others just use pounds. It is just diabolical. My children are taught metric system school so hopefully one day it will the majority option like in the rest of the world.
• Carpets in houses. It's just atrocious. I can appreciate that one hundred years ago when houses had not central heating carpets helped to keep the house warm. Nowadays, they just accumulate dust, dirt and mites. Special mention to the wretched minds that decide to even put carpets in bathrooms: disgusting.
• Obesity and excessive alcohol consumption. It is just shocking the lack of attention that many people have to what they eat and drink. Not sure what the root cause is. But it is baffling.

And that is all for now. 😃

Yea I also love that people are out and about and all ages from babies to the elderly.

First of all, if you think 8 pm is late, you would be shocked in Spain where people meet up at 10 pm to have dinner together, then go to a bar to have a few drinks at 12 am and hit the club at 2 am until 6 am. That is a normal Saturday night.

Weirdly, I don't find that as strange. Maybe because I always feel in countries like Spain the whole place is set up for this sort of late night vibe, including the weather? It's like work - when I've worked with colleagues in those countries, it's normal to start later or whatever? But between the early darkness in winter and the fact that, for example, English children are often eating their dinner at 5pm until they're like 11... it just feels like this odd disconnect?

And similarly, in SA, the whole culture (or Cape Town anyway) is set up for eveything to be earlier so it all make sense - we get up earlier, start school/work earlier but then everything finishes earlier too. Eg I routinely was at work before 8 in Cape Town, but very seldom stayed later than 5 - at which point in the summer I might even have gone to meet friends at the beach or whatever, especially as commuting time is generally quite light.

No idea why the text got so big!

This.

I have family in Bermuda and they do this. There was a 'winter' school uniform that included a thick cardigan or jumper despite it being 25 degrees. The explanation I was given being that if there was no differentiation between winter and summer clothes no one would be able to cope when it got really hot.

I mean people hoover and use carpet cleaner…..Without carpets the houses get really cold in winter unless you have underfloor heating which is not usually affordable…
Not everyone can afford to have heating on all the time so they are good insulation.

Ones that come to mind are;

• scotch eggs
• salad cream - don’t see it so much anymore but remember it from when I was younger and could never get my head round it
• only being able to buy two packs of paracetamol at a time.

I have often wondered at the miracle that is fresh milk here which lasts ages!

And also on opening hours, the fact that everything is closed on Sundays. I like it - I think it's much better for society to have a day of rest, as it were - but I still sometimes forget and have to be extra mindful re: grocery shopping etc making sure we have everything we need in.

Also on grocery shopping: I can never get a full shop from any single supermarket, because there are some items that each doesn't sell. I find this quite peculiar (and inconvenient).

Agree also re: the houses. Our house is colder than outside in the winter - great for the summer, not ideal at all when it's cold.

I also like how family orientated it is here - kids are welcome everywhere and people are kind to them.

Laughing with recognition! I actually quite like sleeping without a pillow (got used to it while bedsharing with small dc), but the pillows here (Germany) are a revelation. Also the size of a 'double' bed in the UK compared to here. And then the bathroom fittings in UK that still use separate taps!
Since living here I just can't get my head around British attitudes to childcare (treating it as an (enormous) expense for the parents rather than the largely socialised cost it actually is), sickness at work (disciplinary meetings for being off sick?!?) and home ownership (considered a moral achievement and renting rather looked down on). Also the reluctance to allow children gradually increasing spheres of appropriate independence.

On the other side, I will never, ever get used to the lack of speed limit on (much of) the motorway. My dh and now my eldest dc will happily (and safely - they are good drivers) do 180 km/h + on the Autobahn where it's allowed, but I hate it. I'll also never get on with the complete obsession with crafting here, the way even mainstream drs will offer you homeopathic meds (it's a massively controversial issue over here but a lot of drs trained at a time when it was the thing), and the interpretation of 'tea' as primarily fruit/herbal. Order a tea in a cafe and you'll need to specify black, might get an Earl Grey without having specifically requested one, and will often be presented with a cup of water that has gone off the boil, a tiny tea bag and a slice of lemon on the side (and no milk). Very disappointing.

Seasonally, Christmas is such a rush here and the main event is over in a second - the main celebration is on the afternoon of Christmas Eve, and the morning is a normal working day for lots of people. Yes, there are then two public holidays (25th and 26th), and people do get together with family and have roasts etc, but we still do our Christmas largely the British way because the German way is just too much all at once.

Schooling - much more sensible starting age in Germany, but much less emphasis placed on creativity and experiential learning. Literacy teaching also very different. German schoolchildren learning to read don't get reading books from school. They have textbooks with short stories etc in but they don't have that experience of engaging with books right from the beginning. They also do very little creative writing, and being read aloud to is confined to special events. Instead, Diktate are a big thing - teacher reads out a piece and pupils have to write it down with correct spelling etc.

Coming from France to the UK:
Corner shops - love them! You can buy literally everything in them and I have three within a 2min walk
Lots of people going to the bars and pubs and not drinking, we have a massive drinking culture in France and I found this very refreshing
The decline of smoking - very much in full force in France
Amazing delis from different cuisines - Italian, Turkish, Polish, I can find so much fresh and freshly cooked food on my doorstep
Amazing restaurant food! I was surprised at this, but you have so much more varied cuisine (Thai, Vietnamese, Indian, Japanese, literally everything cuisine from around the world). Great selection of vegetarian and vegan food.
Long working days, 0800-1800 seemed to be the norm and no proper lunch break
Going for a walk! Ok, they usually end up in the pub so I like that bit!
The love of fresh milk, aisles of the stuff!
So much tea drinking, yet poor provision of public toilets!!
Free museums and galleries, so much free stuff to do with children

I dont think its gross i think its weird.
I have in door shoe's.
As i was raised not to where outdoor shoes inside because of all the negative energy's we walk in.
Who wants that in doors.

Amazing restaurant food! I was surprised at this, but you have so much more varied cuisine (Thai, Vietnamese, Indian, Japanese, literally everything cuisine from around the world). Great selection of vegetarian and vegan food.

I used to work for a French company and lots of colleagues came here regularly and I went there regularly and I really noticed it. The French were brilliant, the moment they turned up they wanted to go get a curry or try something different. I had so many great meals trying new cuisines with colleagues over those years.

On the other hand, when I went to France, I was always amazed that you could go into the slightly dodgy brasserie on the corner and get a brilliant steak with an excellent glass of house red, all at a very reasonable price.... but with the exception of some Italian and the occassional posh sushi, non French options were limited. (I do like steak though, and the UK steaks are often bad, so I didn't really mind!)