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What age do you stop giving nieces/nephews money for Christmas

109 replies

Washywishy · 11/12/2024 15:11

If you do stop obviously! So my niece is now 19 and working. In my family the cut off for giving money/presents was 18 years old, DH says 21.
Does everyone stop at that age or carry on?
Happy to carry on, just wondered what others did. (We don't do adult Christmas presents)

OP posts:
livelovelough24 · 11/12/2024 21:39

2024onwardsandup · 11/12/2024 15:14

I can’t imagine ever stopping!

Same.

Radionowhere · 11/12/2024 21:41

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 11/12/2024 17:17

I’m 58 and in a fairly well paid job. My lovely uncle still gives me £20 in my birthday card plus a box of Black Magic and £20 in my Christmas card. I keep it separate and always treat myself to something and tell him what I have bought. It means a lot to me (and I treat him in return too; usually half a case of wine).

This is lovely!

longtompot · 11/12/2024 22:17

We stopped when they turn 18 as they then join in with the family secret Santa

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NewName24 · 11/12/2024 22:25

Do I wait until their parents tell me not to buy for them anymore, otherwise just continue giving? I would feel awkward saying I'm going to stop, or just stopping unannounced.
Don't stop unannounced. Start the conversation at Christmas, or in the new year. Say that you think it makes sense to stop at 18 (or 21 or whatever suits you), ahead of time, and so that each child has had the same number of years of receiving presents when it stops for them.

I do feel it needs to end at some point. As a child, none of my aunties and uncles gave gifts except when we were small, certainly stopped by teens.

No, looking back, I don't remember getting presents from Aunts or Uncles - I presume it must have been agreed by my parents and my Aunts and Uncles when we were small.

Personally I would tell everyone to stop gifting for my child when they are 18 but it's more difficult suggesting it for others' children! Even now we're at the stage everyone wants cash or gift cards, it's becoming merely a transaction!

Exactly. The act of everyone passing notes round is a bit daft.
As good a reason as any to stop when they get to a certain age.
However, it isn't difficult to explain that is what you are going to do. In fact, that is the easy bit, as you can control that. I can see it might be more awkward if you are related to someone who wants to still buy for your child, but that is on them.

cartor · 11/12/2024 22:25

My DS is 25 and my siblings stilll buy him birthday and Christmas gifts. He is the eldest of the cousins so I suppose I'll stop buying for nieces & nephews if/when they stop. I'm happy to continue tbh, I don't put much effort into it these days, just give cash or vouchers, and the cost makes no difference to me.

GeorgeBeckett · 11/12/2024 22:41

One of my Aunties prepped me by saying she’d stop when I was 21. The rest stopped gradually between 18 and graduating uni at 24. Except my great Aunt who sent me £50 Christmas and birthday until she died in my 30s.

DH’s uncle still sends us a cheque for £20 in a Christmas card and £15 on DH’s birthday. I’m an NHS consultant. We don’t need it but we do appreciate it! Although I do feel guilty if it takes a while to get around to cashing the cheque!

ThePoshUns · 11/12/2024 22:58

When they finish education

Redglitter · 11/12/2024 22:59

2024onwardsandup · 11/12/2024 15:14

I can’t imagine ever stopping!

Same here

Nourishinghandcream · 11/12/2024 23:21

I have pretty much stopped giving to nieces & nephews (token gifts only) as they now have children of their own so I give to the great nephews & nieces instead.

CosyRoby · 11/12/2024 23:22

18 in our family

Lemonademoney · 11/12/2024 23:25

Weve decided until around 21. My family stopped when I was 18 but as I was then a student until 21 it felt a bit mean so we have decided to continue until 21 for our nieces and nephews.

user1492757084 · 11/12/2024 23:26

21 in our family.. when they join the Secret Santa with all the other adults.

HoppityBun · 11/12/2024 23:34

I’m in my 60s and my darling ancient aunt still sends me money. I send her a present too of course. I don’t send adult nieces / nephews money because they never said thank you and I hardly know them.

EmmaEmEmz · 12/12/2024 00:27

OnlyWhenILaugh · 11/12/2024 18:52

I understand what you're saying but can I offer a word of warning?
In your scenario, a childless or child free family member is treated the same as the members of the younger generation. That is potentially patronising and upsetting for anyone who has fertility difficulties. An annual reminder that they've not got children.
I'm not trying to be arsey, just thinking about different scenarios.

I appreciate what you're saying and that's definitely something to bear in mind that perhaps we haven't considered.

We have seven kids between us and no more will be coming along, and the eldest is only 13 so we've got a while to figure it out, but something I'll have a chat about when it next comes up in conversation.

Thankyou for pointing this out to us. As a family who haven't had any fertility issues, or chosen to be child free, i guess it was something we hadn't thought about and we would all be gutted if we made someone feel like that.

I'd quote happily buy for my neices and nephews forever but as the sister who has more kids than my brothers put together, my lot cost more money 🤣🤣🤣

Edgeoftheworld1 · 12/12/2024 01:02

My niece gave me a detailed wish list when I asked what she wanted for her birthday… then once everything was delivered I didn’t hear a peep out of her. So that’s definitely the end of that. Same for various godchildren. I can’t fathom how it is impossible to send even a brief text of thanks. It’s like throwing a present into a pit.

So in answer to the question: 18 or sooner depending on how rude they are.

MinnieMountain · 12/12/2024 06:20

My sibling has asked if we’re giving early teens money still 😕

LittleLlama · 12/12/2024 06:42

When I was younger I use to buy for over 50 people, it was ridiculous.

On my DH’s side, we have agreed to stop at 18 (with the exception that we buy them something at 21). My DH was the youngest and we now have great nephews we buy/give money too. On my side it is more complicated (and my sister refuses to stop buying for my grown-up children).

I now buy for 22 people, most of which is a small gift and money.

Sheknowsaboutme · 12/12/2024 06:45

I stopped yrs ago and they’re only 20 and 18. I gave them cash then my brother gave mine cash. What’s the point in that?

SkyBlue90 · 12/12/2024 07:19

We still give to our niece but never get thanks. She’s almost 18, and DH wants to give one last time. I’m not keen and would stop now, because we have a toddler DC and she has not acknowledged her new cousin and certainly never purchased, made or given anything for her cousin, her uncle, or me any time in her life (her mum is pretty selfish).

We have given plenty of expensive presents to her and SIL over the years.

Nolegusta · 12/12/2024 07:21

I only ever gave actual presents and stopped once they were teenagers. My sister gave my son gifts for a much shorter duration than I gave her children gifts.

Silvertulips · 12/12/2024 07:22

I buy for my niece, she’s in her 30’s and has always sent my children presents and has done since she started work

I don’t buy for my sisters kids as they never buy for us -

No age limit here.

BigDahliaFan · 12/12/2024 07:25
  1. But start again with their kids when they have them. I send a family present to my sister like wine or cheese as she has them all at Christmas.
Vettrianofan · 12/12/2024 07:25

Around 12 or so. I was relieved when they said they couldn't afford it. Meant we didn't need to reciprocate! We have enough going on with our own family.

They never visited anyway or said thanks.

DustyLee123 · 12/12/2024 07:25

18

Vettrianofan · 12/12/2024 07:26

Sheknowsaboutme · 12/12/2024 06:45

I stopped yrs ago and they’re only 20 and 18. I gave them cash then my brother gave mine cash. What’s the point in that?

I agree, that's what we did for quite a while and it was just daft.