‘D’F (my dad) has just passed away. To the outside world he was a kind, caring man of god.
To his family he was a violent, abusive bully. I have countless childhood memories of his screaming rages, smashing up the house and putting my mum and siblings in hospital. He once almost strangled my brother to death. Just one example of many. To this day I do not know how or why Social Services did not get involved and remove us.
We feel immense relief now that he has gone. However we (me and my siblings, DM has also passed away) are now dealing with people weeping, wailing and causing a huge scene both at the hospital and in our old family home where we are having to hold a wake lasting several days. It was bad enough at the hospital when people turned up with bibles and held an impromptu prayer meeting over his dead body (not to mention quite disrespectful to the other patients on the ward who had to put up with all the hollering) but having people hugging us and crying is tiresome to say the least.
Not sure why I am posting but wondered if anyone else has had to put up with a late relative being canonised in death even when they were deeply unpleasant in life and how you dealt with it? I am not going to speak ill of the dead so I just nod when people start to go on about him but it’s increasingly difficult.