What was your final straw that made you end a friendship?

[shutupputup]

Two memorable for me.

One friend complete user, money, lifts, dropped you as soon as she got a boyfriend. We fell out and I reached out to her as I was feeling depressed (as was she): she invited me to hers later in the week, to then say she was ill and posted on social media she was out clubbing.

Other one was this year. Horrible weekend away where she sulked like a teenager (no idea why). Tried to meet up with her a couple of times after and got snubbed, She then started messaging saying she missed me but again snubbed my suggestion of meeting up. I gave up. She’s messaged since and I’ve just ignored.

I had a friend who was really tight with money whenever we went out. I started to notice that she would always get the first round in and would order a non-alcoholic drink.
When it was my round she would order expensive spirits.
Once I had noticed that I dipped out of buying rounds with her.
She had more money than me but always made out she was skint.
The last time I saw her, was when I went to drop off a Christmas present for her and her first remark was "Oh, is that for my birthday as well" Her birthday was in the autumn as is mine. She didn't buy me a birthday present (which I was relieved about) but still expected a birthday present from me.
No contact since then.

My friend and I went through IVF at the same time. We worked together. My treatment worked, hers didn’t. I wasn’t allowed to show my bump at work so had to keep it covered or she found it upsetting.

She did have a surprise baby in the end but the baby was born with several conditions. My friend treated my daughter with some disdain and was clearly bitter about the whole situation so I sent her a last, very nice message on her daughter’s birthday and then never contacted her again. She never contacted me either.

I can’t be dealing with difficult friendships. Life is too short and hard enough already.

An emotional vampire for me. She would call and spend hours of my time whining and moaning about who had upset her that day, only to tag on a minute or so asking me how I was and not listening to my response. We had a weekend away where I noticed she was incredibly selfish and self centred, which really irritated me. The last straw was when she got continually offended over ridiculously minor things that good friends usually wouldn't bat an eyelid about, and wanted to spend hours going over it by text. In the end I said enough was enough. Good friends are easy going ones and that's who I want to surround myself by.

Friend was a user, one time I couldn’t do a favour for her as my DD was very unwell, she wasn’t pleased about it at all. I realised that she only ever called/texted me when she wanted something. When we were out as a group she never asked how my DC were it was all me, me, me. Another friend had a DC who was gravely ill and she refused to discuss them as it would upset HER, no support for the friend.

Two things with the same person I'd been friends with for about ten years, she had made a new friend and went on and on to me about this person, what they'd done etc, I didn't know the person and it was just so boring hearing all about her.
I also suddenly realised that even though I'd been on a diet and lost several stones( which she knew about), whenever we met for coffee she'd get there before the agreed time and buy me a huge slice of cake which was sitting there when I got there, then get offended when I said I'd rather not eat it and would take it home for my daughter, give me a lecture about how I shouldn't deprive myself etc. It took me several goes of this to realise she was doing it deliberately, no idea why as she wasn't overweight herself.
Those two things made me realise I just didn't want to be friends with her any more.

I posted on here at the time. She married a man who had a very young daughter from a previous relationship. When my friend fell pregnant she told her husband she didn’t want her step-daughter to come over to the house any more once the baby was born because she wanted their new family to live in a ‘cocoon’.

She told me all of this over lunch and kept saying she felt like a mama bear who had to protect her newborn. There were no MH issues or anything like that. She was clearly jealous of the relationship her DH had with his child and (in her words) didn’t want anything to spoil his bond with her baby.

I withdrew from the friendship completely.

I have a thread running about the “friend” in question at the moment! She’d let me down several times over the years - mostly notably ignoring two deaths in my family that came very close together - but expected me to plan around her and include her in everything I did. My final straw moment was when she went nuts over not being invited to a reunion night with my former colleagues. She wasn’t invited because she hadn’t worked there!

She sounds like a fucking lunatic - to think that way. What an odd bod.

Draining ex colleague who needed vast amounts of attention and would bleat on about her son who was always about to be signed up for a first division football club which never happened..........so boring and draining....phone calls at 3am because she got a parking ticket, constant calls at odd hours mostly involving her hopeless 23 year old son who was so spoilt and monitored he hardly knew how to hold a spoon....i blocked her and she moved away, thankfully.

I had a friend for nearly 20 years who's behaviour just escalated to the point I had to block her on all channels sadly.
She was always quite draining but I loved her.. however it just got to the point that she was messaging every day about some drama she was going thru and expecting responses there and then.m and if she didn't get a response she would do it more. And if the response could be perceived as disagreeing with her, or being critical or being disinterested.. she'd blow up.
It became such a nightmare.. real emotional vampire.
It came to a head when I tried to explain the effect her constant messaging (and I'm talking paragraphs on paragraphs throughout the day and night here) was having on me.. and I said I just needed a bit if space.
My God she went berserk.
I just had to block on everything.
Really sad but I couldn't cope with it any longer.

Male friend.

Kept 'negging' me.

I achieved a major life/career goal and he couldn't even say 'well done'.

So it was goodbye.

I was the messenger who ‘got shot’ when put in the horribly awkward (but classic) situation of the new love-bombing BF, trying it full-on with me.
Friends for years, holidayed together, knew each others families etc…
But yeah she believed his tale that I tried it on with him (not a bloody chance, he was a repugnant, lying toad).

and buy me a huge slice of cake

^

I had a friend do this, buy me a massive box of milk tray when I'm on a diet??

I have two so I'll try to keep it short for each.

First one:

• spoke about everyone behind their backs, even about other friends to me and I assume vice versa. When confronted she accused others of lying. We were also told very private health issues about people we didn't know.
• I told her no to helping me with something. She later told me she had been asked to help by my now-DH (before we married). I thought he had gone behind my back and we nearly split up because of her lies.
• Had a racist rant about a doctor with a foreign name
• she did some beauty treatments at her house. My DC treated me to a professional treatment for Mother's Day and she slagged me off to everyone because I went there instead of to her
• manipulated me into asking her to be a bridesmaid at my wedding, in public so it was extremely awkward. She then set up a Pinterest with all her ideas for MY wedding. I unfriended her before the wedding.

Second one:

• turned up absolutely wasted to my wedding (with her husband and another friend) and sat in front of the bar drinking alcohol they had brought in themselves (our venue had really good prices so there was honestly no need). They ended up being kicked out by our venue manager because of it and the next point.
• her husband sexually harassed at least two of my female guests, one had travelled literally thousands of miles to be there and he also badgered me to kiss him on the lips
• didn't even bring a card, I never expected gifts from people but you at least take a card IMO
• the next few times I saw her after the wedding she totally blanked me, even to the point of purposely saying hi to people I was talking to and ignoring me
• after that happened for a third time I think it was, I unfriended her on social media, then bumped into her in a supermarket where she demanded to know what she had done to me and vehemently denied ever having ignored me despite the fact I had multiple witnesses

It isn't everything from them both, I would honestly write an essay if I was left to it but those were the main points where I stepped further back each time.

Best friend of 20+ years. Honestly, every time we meet up there we're always passive aggressive comments and twisting of my words.

Looking back now I was always the underdog and poor friend. Years of graft and meeting my DH, we both have successful careers and are comfortable financially, nice house etc. I think she just felt really u comfortable about the change in our circumstances (that seemed to take the brunt of comments).

When I think about some of the things she said now I can't believe it.

Now I look for very uncomplicated friendships

Years ago I became friends with a work colleague , same business different locations .
She was just so miserable and negative with awful eating habits and OCD.
Would go and stay with her for a weekend and we would go for a meal where the poor waiters had to re write the menu to her specifications, when the food arrived she'd eat 2 mouthfuls and declare anyone who ate more than that a greedy pig . So that was me then , a greedy pig for finishing my meal .
Then her only conversation was about her awful divorce from her freeloading husband.
Lastly she would be awful rude about the appearance of anyone she saw people watching eg look at the state of that , who'd fancy her / him etc .
As I was driving down one weekend I thought what am I doing , I hate every minute of her company . Came off the motorway at the next junction and went home never to contact her again . She tried really hard to stay in touch but I just couldn't .

I'm still really sad about it, we were such good friends. Then her husband got a massive promotion a couple of years ago, they put their DC into the fanciest private school and she started telling me about all her new posh friends. Final straw was when we made plans to celebrate my birthday - not only did she forget the actual day, but when I texted to confirm what we are doing, she responded 'sorry, can't do, we already have plans'.
I still wish her happy birthday, she doesn't do the same.

Conspiracy theories. So so so tedious.

Refusal to do ANYTHING outside her nuclear family at weekends, to the point that it actually became rude (refusing to attend their child's friend's birthday party because "The weekend is family time" for example).

Ever-changing fake allergies and food intolerances with no reason for justification. I got very sick of this one.

I've had a very difficult summer that is still going on that was compounded by a decades long friend ignoring me. She didn't want to listen to me. Despite my always supporting her and listening to her dramatics all the time. We always supported each other but this time nothing. No phone call, no text, no glass of wine. But she still thought I'd go on a very expensive trip with her.

Even after this and when she got in touch I gave her another chance. And she managed to upset me further so I let her go.

She then got two others to alienate me.

I cannot get my head around it. She treated me as worthless. All I can assume was this was coming and I hadn't noticed the signs.

I cannot imagine not wanting to listen to a friend who was going through a difficult time. To effectively end a friendship over nothing.

Oh, and the friend who was incredibly hard work about birthdays and Christmas - wanting to be affirmed and celebrated and fussed over in exactly the right way. It was such controlling behavior.

Friends for 10+ years, I was always the underdog but she always wanted the one up on m looking back. First to get engaged , Married a month before me , hen and honeymoon had to be better. She invited herself to be bridesmaid (at that point I was backing off her as something wasn't right) and she purposely bought the wrong bridesmaid dress and demanded money for it(I was going to pay anyway but was demands!) , she did a speech at my wedding which basically called me names (I was oblivious until friends and colleagues came up to me after to say that girl is not your friend!) oh and also when me and now DH got together she sat on his lap and wouldn't move until I asked her what the hell she was doing? I was there for her through a lot 3am phone calls with her crying etc. I finally plucked up courage when I was pregnant and she made me cry I just blocked her! She was like a sister to me

One who used to never do the contacting. Then we'd be waiting for her when she agreed to come, then text her & get back 'oh, sorry! On the way to in laws house!' no apologies or notification..TBF we knew this was in part was her FOMO abusive DH.

The second final straw was me begging her to visit when I was on mat leave, only to find out she was busy on a day off.... doing craft.... She lives two minutes drive away, so surely an hour for a struggling, lonely friend is not to bug an ask.

The final straw was when I texted we'd be a bit late for her DS's first birthday party as DD was napping & she was overhead saying it was me being 'tit for tat' for them dropping out of my child's party the month before (they dropped out of everything to do with my DC - always suddenly ill). Her DH then told people at that party he loathed me.

They also told people I didn't deserve my DS, because I struggled with pnd. No support - not like we gave them during their fertility journey!

In the end all I did was stop messaging her to think about it for a bit. She never messaged me, which was as it always was, So I thought I couldn't be bothered sorting it out. t's sad as we did have fun together.

Friend who was weird as hell after she had her baby eg. Sitting in bed for a fortnight to 'receive' guests for an allotted 10 minute slot on a daily basis (these guests being friends and family that she'd specifically phoned and demanded they visit her). She acted like giving birth was a terrible illness, but I let it go at the time as I had no DC and didn't want to judge.

A few years later I had a baby who was initially quite ill. She demanded that they visit about an hour after I got home, and still showed up with her family after I'd said no. She decided that my baby wasn't feeding well enough and as she was apparently an expert thought if I breastfed in the bath it would help me relax and solve any issues. She was very forceful - despite me saying no repeatedly - and actually started running a bath for me where she'd help me breastfeed! I'd just given birth, we'd never seen each other naked (and I'd no desire for this to change).

I stopped contact with her after that... (And no, that bath did NOT happen😡)

Similar happened to me. I busted my good friend of 12 years husband on Twitter looking for men for casual sex. She basically took his side and I've never spoken to her since.

I had a fiend who was fun and who I used to know for quite some time. At first, she started using me as an outlet for her low self esteem, gloating about various issues and generally being a dick. Coming to London and never meeting me. Not inviting me for events. However, I still put up with it for the old time's sake and because we only chatted occasionally, it was not all bad. Or so I thought.

So, she invited me and my very young DC to stay over at hers for a weekend (miles away from where I live, in a middle of nowhere). I thought it would be great to put things behind us and have a nice weekend together. We arranged everything, I bought tickets, got ready, but then I messaged her to confirm time so she could meet me at the station she did not respond. At all. So, an hour before my train was due to leave, I unpacked and blocked her on everything and never talked to her since. I know what people would say - maybe she did have an emergency, I dont know - and I dont care. It was the last straw! I probably should have ended it ages ago, just shows people never change.