Dear parents, please pay more attention to your kids.

[anissa834]

Some kids are way too comfortable with strangers and some parents pay little to no attention to them.

Yesterday while I was sitting on a bench, there was a mother and a kid sitting on a bench a bit farther. The other bench where the mom was sitting was facing away from me.

And the kid was running around while her mom was on her phone not paying attention to her surrounding. Then the kid started talking to me. At first she said hi and then she started asking me about my favorite color, who is my favorite footballer ECT. We were having a small talk.

Finally after a couple of minutes, the mother firmly told the little girl to come to her.

Luckily for the girl and the mom, I am not a crazy person. I bet if I told to kid to come with me to my car to get some candy, she would've came with me without a second thought.

Parents please pay more attention to your kids !

Child abduction by strangers is actually incredibly rare. Obviously talk to your kids about stranger danger and keep them in your line of sight when they are young... but come on now... you are shaming this mother for allowing her child to interact with you?! For looking at her phone??
Clearly she was nearby...
I think this is ott

Generally mums are the primary carers so are responsible for a significant proportion of the time. That might be why it's mostly women you see.

When mine were little it was relentless and soft play was a chance to get a coffee and have some peace checking my phone or just sitting knowing they were safe playing. I kept a close eye on them but did enjoy a little scroll - god forbid women take a little break whilst their kids play!!

I agree too. Too many people might think oh it's a woman it's fine. No it's not.

You see a small snippet of someone's day. You don't know the reason they were on the phone or how much they have intacted with their DC that day already. I'm sure there would be times when you have been on your phone in an emergency where someone is thinking the same thing about you.

@anissa834 Please come back and share more of your wisdom..... What's your thoughts on baby led weaning? Is breast best? Is Santa "lying" to children?

Yeah I take a book to softplay! I'm going there for a break not to stare at my kid!
However it depends on the age.. obviously the younger the child the more supervision they need at softplay. But past the age of about 4 its just the odd going to check where they are every 15 mins. Rest of the time I'm sat reading.
Absolutely do not begrudge other mums scrolling their phones. Unless their child is terrorising the other kids and they are just ignoring it of course...
It really is misogynistic bollocks to think women have to be staring at their child every second they are put in public with them or else they are a terrible neglectful mother! such nonesense and can only be thought by people with no children or people who only have one child they helicopter parent or something..
i work full time and ive got 3 kids.. no im not making eye contact with them 24/7 when we are in public. They are lovely, friendly, clever, well behaved children... me not giving them my undivided attention constantly for the entirity of their lives does not seem to have damaged them tbh

'Interacting with people' can also mean 'making a nuisance of themselves by bothering a person who wants to be left alone'!

I don't think it's reasonable that parents think children are 'building social skills' by talking to random people minding their own business.
I don't want to be interrupted by a child with their inane chatter. Had it before when a kid wouldn't leave us alone on the beach 'what's that','what are you eating', 'why', long boring rambles about a particular toy, what their brother said, a thing in the water.
It was utterly tedious.
The parents thought it terribly sweet and assumed we must be honoured by the company of their child so allowed it to continue while they carried on with their peaceful sunbathing.
Telling children not to interrupt people minding their own business is not the same as telling them to never speak anyone they don't know ever again. It's basic manners.

Disagree with you here and agree with PP. If you're not a parent don't go around judging others unless you've walked a day in their shoes, having their children 24)7 and juggling work/life issues. Id feel differently if the example was high risk or neglect but speaking to a women a bench away isn't that.

So? That is an important social skill for them to learn. They should learn people may find them annoying

How many times do I get people stop me and my toddler in supermarkets etc to speak to her and tell her how cute she is. Is this annoying and a nuisance to me, yes often it is but it's part of a social society. And id rather that than everyone be rude to one another.

How condescending ... and what a wild exaggeration.
Imagine not being allowed to talk to strangers. Your sister is really setting her kids up to thrive in society!

I had your view point, then I had two kids and couldn't keep my eye on both of them at the exact same time constantly. Parenting is hard and we all try our best.
To be fair you don't have kids so can't comment.

True. If the person does not engage or displays other non-verbal cues that they'reannoyed, you call them away.
If they start asking intrusive questions or such, you call them away...
I don't believe you mute them in a public space though, just in case someone finds kids a nuisance.

In 2024 you more than likely need a smartphone to: apply for a job, apply for benefits, make a non urgent GP appointment, find the number of your local health visitor, pay council tax, grocery shop online. All things that benefit your child. You just don’t know why someone is looking at their phone for 5 minutes, and you can’t assume it’s “endlessly scrolling TikTok”.

I was going to say, i often feel self- conscious "on my phone" with the kids in the park, trying to get a GP appointment or book childcare or any other life admin that can only be done at set times.

so much ignoring of children with phone use now

Me too!! I was on the NHS website researching the symptoms of croup for my youngest whilst my eldest was on the swings. I’m sure I looked wholly negligent but as both of their full time carers, when else am I supposed to find the time to do it?

Looking at numbers only, it’s more likely that a child will be molested at home than being abducted.

So maybe we should be keeping an eye on our children athome rather than at the park….

Child abduction with adjacent but distracted parent are remarkably rare
unfortunately biggest risk to a child is with known adults family & known acquaintances
Stop catastrophizing and making out rare events are an everyday risk

You say kids are too comfortable around strangers

Some could say you encouraged the girl

You kept talking to her

You didn't ignore her

This.

At no point did the OP say the child was out of view. They were a few benches down - the mother probably knew exactly where the child was and unfortunately the OP is rude enough to make comments on other people’s parenting when she has no experience.

Pathetic

Ah, so this how we end up with children who act like we’re readying ourselves to stuff them in a sack when we say something sinister like ‘hello’ or ‘mind the step.’

It’s ‘don’t GO with strangers’ and ‘say NO to strangers’ not ‘freak the fuck out if someone you don’t know acknowledges your existence in passing.’

I shouldn’t even direct this at the children, tbh, cos it’s not their fault. It’s the ‘darling! come to Mummy!’ brigade. What I wonder is, if they’re taught to fear everyone, when happens the one time a kid possibly needs help? How will they learn to assess who they should ask?

You have no idea what the woman was doing on her phone or how often she uses it around her children. You saw a tiny snapshot of her day, don't be so bloody judgemental!