Dear parents, please pay more attention to your kids.

[anissa834]

Some kids are way too comfortable with strangers and some parents pay little to no attention to them.

Yesterday while I was sitting on a bench, there was a mother and a kid sitting on a bench a bit farther. The other bench where the mom was sitting was facing away from me.

And the kid was running around while her mom was on her phone not paying attention to her surrounding. Then the kid started talking to me. At first she said hi and then she started asking me about my favorite color, who is my favorite footballer ECT. We were having a small talk.

Finally after a couple of minutes, the mother firmly told the little girl to come to her.

Luckily for the girl and the mom, I am not a crazy person. I bet if I told to kid to come with me to my car to get some candy, she would've came with me without a second thought.

Parents please pay more attention to your kids !

Exactly.

Talking to strangers is fine and in some situations - when you need help - essential. Children should never be taught not to talk to strangers. Children should be taught not to GO with strangers which is s different thing. I daresay the mother would have noticed you trying to bundle her child away.

Its much easier to pay close attention to kids when you only have them some of the time!

You have no idea what was going on with the Mum, how stressful her day has been, if she's having a tough time at home, or anything.

I once got told off for a mum for not paying attention to my 8 year old son as he walked behind me and I was front - but I just found my other sons leukaemia had come back, so to be fair, wasn't really with it.

Parents so love it when non-parents tell them how bad they are at parenting.

I agree with the OP. It is not just about abduction, it could be a child trying to pet a dog, running into the road, touching something unsafe etc.

The poor child was probably looking for attention that the mother should have been giving her and lets be honest if the thread was 'I let my child talk to strangers by themselves while I piss about on Insta...aibu?' the replies would be very different.

What nonsense! Stranger danger is one thing and friendly sociable behaviour is perfectly normal.

Your perception of risk is incredibly warped.

The chatting isn't an issue but the constantly being on a phone is. I don't know why people try to pretend this is OK it absolutely isn't.
You only need to walk down a street and every other person is glued to their phone ignoring babies and children.

I agree with you OP. There has been many cases where I have seen what looked like a lone child out of the parents sight. It only takes a few seconds for things to go wrong.

My kid has attachment disorder due to early childhood traumas.

seriously. You have no idea.

I'm with OP. I was searching for my dog and a tiny kid (maybe 3?) wandered up and joined in for the fun of it. Fine when we were in an open field alongside his parents but he followed me into some trees and was completely out of sight of his parents. It shocked me how trusting he was, totally caught up in the game. He even took my hand when he needed help getting over a fallen branch.

At my local Play Centre, the staff are strict about no phones. No taking photos and no endless scrolling. It is brilliant! there is such a sense of community and the children blossom with the attention.
I do think it is sad to see so many Mums out and about who are endlessly on their phones.There are no where near as many dads but the ones that are at play activities don't feel the need to doom scroll to the same extent.

I think if the OP made a post generally about phone addicted parents we would mostly all agree. She didn't though. She used an example of a real life person who she does not know and has no idea why she was on her phone, and made it about the risk of abduction.

I don't think you have to be a parent to worry about an unwatched child speaking to a stranger

So you don't have kids but feel suitable placed to tell us (mums) we're doing it all wrong. my child talks to everyone and why would I stop that? I might be on my phone but I know exactly what he is doing? A child that can chat to lots of people will have less anxiety in new situations and will make more friends xx

It is normal for DC to interact with adults they do not know. I speak to other DC all the time when I am with my DC at the park/soft play. Your DC can make small talk with strangers AND know not to trust/go with them. The parent was there and aware of what was happening it seems.

How are children supposed to understand the difference between good and bad strangers, or good and bad people in general, if they don't have the opportunity to safely interact with people in a variety of settings? People need to develop safety skills and learn to trust their gut to keep themselves safe. I imagine Mum was listening or had them in her peripheral vision, like you do with your nieces. I appreciate that you think you are coming from a good place with this post, but it actually comes across as judgmental and sneering.

That's literally all I took from the ops issue ect/etc

Do you mind sharing where that statistic is from, and if this figure is exclusively stranger abductions, or does this include familial/custody issues which are classed as abduction? Not that the latter is ok but it’s very different to a total stranger grabbing a child in a van.

I read the book 'The Berenstein Bears and Don't Talk to Strangers' to my DC when they were little.

It struck a good balance as it showed when it is safe to talk to strangers and what is dangerous (going off with a stranger) and also that it isn't necessary to be scared of strangers.

I think phones should be banned from parents of under 5s. I drive past a school on the way home and nearly had a child walk out in front of me the other day. Luckily the traffic was queueing and I was doing around 12 mph but Mum was so busy on her phone, she was clueless. Just picked the poor little sod up and completely ignoring them.

I completely agree with this. I think the whole idea that dangers come from people unknown to you is really misleading and quite dishonest and I really wish people would dial it down.

The vast majority of violent crimes/rapes are committed by people known to the victim: often partners or family members. Still all the rhetoric about public safety is that danger comes from unlit roads and alleyways. It's largely nonsense and this is the same mentality.

Of course its sensible to teach young children to be cautious about people they don't know. But the idea that interaction with anyone outside your family even when there's a family member there is completely wrongheaded.

Shouldn’t have mentioned being child free @anissa834 . It’s almost as bad as being a <whispers> man.

You don't know the child would have gone with you or that the mum wouldn't have immed said where do you think you are going

Because there are so many child abductions going on every day. 🙄