I want to live in a Ch5 Christmas movie

[ssd]

I'd be skinny with long hair and full make up on at all times. I'd eventually meet a hunky man. I'd have a great career but would enjoy the Christmas break. My mum would be alive and cute and bake cookies. Her house would be gorgeous and full of twinkly lights.

And it would snow every year.

Me too!

The towns are just so pretty. No rubbish anywhere, no traffic jams, cute little boutique shops.

And the homes are amazing with wonderful Christmas decorations.

The neighbourhood would be like one huge happy family - a few grumpy ones but with hearts of gold. At Christmas there's a big Xmas party (like at the Kranks). The whole town is decorated in coordinated red and green and white and the snow is gently falling but never seems to turn to grey slush and the traffic glides through it.
Any single person meets their perfect match just in time for the holidays and everyone welcomes them with open arms. The dogs don't bite, the babies don't cry and all the children are well behaved. There are no screens and everyone, young and old, has a pitch perfect voice and loves nothing better than to gather around the piano for carols. Even your Scrooge of a boss comes round with a nice fat bonus!

Oh god exactly!!

Absolutely

The town celebrates every single holiday and occasion and everyone knows everyone.
Everyone goes home from the big city for christmas on christmas eve but then manages to fit what seems like a weeks worth of activities in before christmas actually happens!

They also seem to eat like pigs but never put any weight on!

they go xmas shopping and everyone is carrying already (beautifully) wrapped presents stacked in their arms.

Ha Ha.
I wasn't very well last week and watched about 7 of these in a row.

It is exactly the same story in each one

As pp said - everyone lives in an enormous house, bakes lovely Christmas goods, and there are always dozens of Christmassy events and traditions that the whole (small) town participates in.

💕

I think it would be a bit boring to be honest and I'm not perfect enough for that world !
My hair isn't glossy enough and I can't wrap presents for toffee

I’m in bed with flu and have watched a few of these today

The women are amazing. They spend a lot of time wandering around in falling snow in nothing but a v neck blouse and thin jacket, with perfect waves and flawless foundation, unaffected by the weather conditions.
Despite being very thin, they’re constantly eating Christmas cookies and slugging big mugs of hot chocolate with marshmallows.

They always have a big Christmas ‘gala’ to go to. I’ve never been to a gala. 😆 Its a good life.

Some of the plots that involve a single dad or mum meeting and falling in love with someone right before Christmas are red flag central, though. They meet on the 18th December and by Christmas Eve they’re a solid couple and the kid has a new step parent. No!

Yes! I'm a bit of a grinch but these films are my guilty pleasure. Today I have binged A very Yorkshire Christmas (with Michelle Dotrice - remember her?) set in the suspiciously American sounding Pine Falls near 'Naresborrow' and Christmas at Mistletoe Ranch (mistletoe grows on the trunks of pine trees - who knew?). 😳

I sort of do - I left a big corporate job and my work since then has been in extremely Christmas romcom type jobs in a very picturesque location. Sometimes if I'm feeling down I will imagine the Hallmark Movie version of my life and that often cheers me up. The reality is, of course, far less perfect. I'm fat, middle aged, my house is a tip and while I love my job it doesn't pay all that well. But I do feel lucky, although I'd now be one of the comedy locals or parents in someone else's story.

Don't forget the ' quirky ' character they all have in them. The kind of ' buttons ' of the film who everyone loves
Only film I like that is like these ones is ' leap year' with Amy Adams.
Predictable , but the main man in it is gorgeous
Not a Christmas movie though

Michelle Dotrice !
She was great as Betty.
I saw a bit of that film on the weekend and Dh and I both recognized her straight away

I want to travel like they do. They only ever have one suitcase but then wear an infinte number of cosy jumpers, heavy coats, scarves, boots etc.

The scarves/ accessories all match too
From the one suitcase
They also have a nasty boyfriend in the back ground ( back home ) who they eventually dump after saving Christmas!

Oh yes, the thin jackets. I watched a random Christmas movie today and I couldn't stop thinking "if that was me, I would shiver and sneeze very unsexily, then start whining and complaining. The hunk with me would get annoyed and we would drive home" 🥴

And only 5 minutes of angst over the target of your love (who, inevitably, is amazing and rich). Plus the snow is pretty but fake so not wet and cold and there’s a roaring fire at all times. I’d wear a chunky red cable knit jumper and look adorable.

Okay - yes I want to live in these, maybe start a business that clearly will never be solvent in a pretty shop ( selling say… embroidery thread) and carry around the wrapped presents and have glossy hair etc.

BUT.

At the back of one of the pretty twinkly unrealistic shops I want there to be a door in the set that leads through to a sort of mad, Kate Moss, Primrose Hill 90s boozer and continuous house party that you can party all night in and then when you feel tired and maudlin and guilty and sad that you copped off with a lanky stubbly rock band type you can stagger back into Christmas Town and your bed head will become a glossy mane again and someone will hand you a Christmas spiced latte with a peppermint cane and it will all be well.

I want to be Blair in Christmas With The Kranks

Ha Ha, yes, I was getting frustrated at this the other day.
She arrived (in one coat) with a fairly small suitcase then wore at least two other coats, one being a long, wool, cream coloured one, as well of course as all the different clothes, shoes, boots and so forth over the next couple of days. I doubt the two coats would have fitted in her suitcase, even without all the other clothes, shoes and boots.

I would be an accomplished pianist (IRL an alumni of the Les Dawson school) and save the day with the town concert, playing my own composition, for which I had written all the orchestra parts in, say, 24 hours.

What gets me is none of them live in a crowded 3 bed semi, they all have massive detached houses with large country style kitchens, cosy lounges with open fires and there’s often just the one person living there. I would like to know Channel 5’s budget for buying these films, maybe they get a job lot. I’ve watched a fair few, but can honestly say if I watched them again, I wouldn’t know as the story lines are virtually all the same.

Yeah they're cunning those christmas film ladies, they wear the thin clothes, then the hot hunky chivalrous guy ALWAYS removes his coat, says "you must be freezing, here take this" and drapes his coat swiftly around her shoulders, yet never once shivers himself!

Oh me too!!

But I'd need to practice how to walk in snow and ice wearing high heeled boots.