Mum kept baby hidden in drawer for nearly 3 years !!

[benjaminjamesandgraham]

Even Christmas day she was kept in a drawer - oh how can someone be so cruel
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4gz1dv8ly2o

Also she could have seen a mental health professional. It's one thing to say there's a stigma in some vultures around a deformity like a cleft palate, but I don't see how that would stop her seeing a doctor for her own health of she was that ill.

@Illneverstopnamechanging89 Neglect is abuse. Hopefully you're never called for jury duty.

I wonder if she even had a name.

It does say in the report that she didn’t respond to her name. But if only the mother knew about her then you have to wonder if she’d ever heard it.

The CPS report said that all of her developmental delays were due to the abuse. So much future has been robbed from this poor little soul.

She was harmed physically. What are you on about?

Do you really think "physical harm" only means if she was slapped or hit?

I hope you and Illneverstopnamechanging89
are never called for jury duty.

I can't get my head round the thinking that leads to the conclusion she wasn't "physically harmed"

It's so bizarre it's almost impossible to argue against.

No. I don’t think that. I’m not saying that’s what physical abuse amounts to. I’ve done years of safeguarding training and jury duty thank you.

I’m simply trying to explain what the other poster was saying.

Of course she was harmed physically. But not hit or punched. I’m not going to debate this any more as it adds nothing to the plight of this poor child.

Horrific

You're right it adds nothing so goodness knows why you raised it. You also have no knowledge whatsoever as to whether she was hit or punched.

I’ve done years of safeguarding training and jury duty thank you.

Years of jury duty? Most people never sit on a jury more than twice in a lifetime maximum.

Thank you for starting this thread. I read the headline yesterday and was utterly floored. I have looked but have not been able to see any further details of the case until you posted this. Too many questions, but I do hope she is loved and adored by her adoptive family. I wish you nothing but happiness little one x

Have zero compassion for the frankly evil mother, and am absolutely not bothered that you think my words about this woman are 'vitriolic'.
Do you think she she should have sympathy?

My god, my stomach churned reading that, I just can’t imagine that poor poor little girl, utterly heartbreaking

I believe none of us are best placed to know what was going on, so are in no position to make decisions about sympathy for her.

She did not keep the baby hidden as a toy for her sexual satisfaction. I do not think these cases are comparable.

I have no sympathy for her.

I feel like parents in these really extreme neglect/abuse cases must all have something pretty seriously wrong with them. I don’t think it stops them being culpable for their actions. In some cases it might mean that an indefinite stay in a psychiatric facility could be more appropriate (& keep them out of the general population for longer) than a prison sentence.
It seems like what she’s done in terms of victim impact is closer to GBH, which can carry a life sentence. I’m actually a little surprised she couldn’t have been charged with that given the physical and psychological harm inflicted.

No but what she did was equally damaging. All forms of abuse are damaging there is no top trumps with abuse of any kind.

There is no top trumps with abuse. But I don't think it is helpful to link crimes which are very different in terms of types of perpetrator. I am not attempting to defend her, or excuse her actions in any way. Further up the thread, I said I think gbh would be more appropriate than neglect, or along with neglect, due to the amount of damage done. The little girl who could have been has lost that life.

However, I am not going to come out with a pitchfork to burn the witch, because there simply is not enough information about this case for anyone reading these articles cited to really understand what happened here. (I am not going looking for more information. It is disturbing enough to have read what I did, inadvertently).

This is what I've come up with after reading a little deeper into the case. Full disclosure this is just speculation on my part:

• The mum had other kids who she was seemingly looking after well, which means her particular issue was with her daughter who she kept hidden in her drawer.

• She said she didn't close the drawer, so it seems like she was using it as a makeshift cot for the baby, hence why we see bedding in the drawer too.

• The fact she fed the baby with a syringe (likely because of the cleft) shows that she felt some kind of responsibility for the child, even if she didn't love her as much as the others.

• She was in an abusive relationship with the father and didn't want to tell him about the baby.

• The fact she didn't want to tell the abusive dad and kept the baby hidden makes me think the issue is the cleft palate. I was reading up on it and some cultures see cleft palate as being a punishment for wrongdoing or satanic in nature, so if the dad thought this too it could explain why she wanted to hide the baby.

• She goes to work, celebrates birthdays and Christmas, has boyfriends, is in touch with wider family so the mum seems like she

is integrated into society, not a complete recluse, which makes the above theory a bit less plausible because generally people who think like that have lower levels of education and exposure or come from rural communities. However it does make sense when you think of the responsibility she felt for the child but also the detachment she felt from her.

This is just my two cents but obviously I could be way off the mark. I just think this behaviour of singling out a child to neglect is very odd, especially when the mum seemed to fit into society in other ways and didn't display any overt MH issues. Which makes me think it was the cleft she couldn't accept.

Also just to add, feeling responsibility for keeping the child alive does not equate to loving the child or treating them well. The Christmas thing is important because the mum took off with her kids to have a nice bank holiday away with her partners family, leaving the baby completely alone at home.

The article mentions she would normally check on the baby from time to time to feed or change her nappy (although I doubt she did this much). But the baby went a full 24 hours with no nappy change and no food, nothing - they've put it in the story to show the extent of the neglect.

So sexual abuse is the only thing in this different for you? And how do you even know it didn't happen? There's been miles of abuse not written about here. And sexual abuse isn't always PIV.

Why are you so hellbent on making excuses for an abusive person? Is it just because she's a woman?

Obvs the other children will have been removed their mother is in prison they can't look after themselves

Abuse takes many formats, it isn’t just sexual. I am really concerned about your mindset trying to justify or excuse this woman, even knowing the judges comments, the court case outcome, the fact she’s going to jail, knowing they have all the facts you don’t, inc her mental health and history, and still you try to find a way to somehow mitigate the horrific abuse this woman meted out on her own child,

when I read of the condition of that little girl, her body, her injuries, and how her mother behaved when she was found, the things she did to her for years, I have no words for how anyone can have any form of compassion for the utter utter horror of what she did to that child.

It's in one of the articles that the Mother said in the court hearing that 'she's not part of the family.'

Horrific.