What is the ideal plan for old age?

[coffeemonsterrrr]

A hypothetical question here, but, let's say you're middle aged (40's, married with kids, working). Assuming money is no object - wealthy / comfortable but not at Musk-like levels or anything (again this is hypothetical)...
What plans would you put in place for your old age?

I've witnessed a few family members have depressing / sad last few years in care homes and thinking about if there's a way it can be done better. Without any burden on children though.

We encouraged my parents (in their seventies) to move to a bungalow or flat when they wanted to leave their 2 storey 3 bed house.

They ended up buying a 4 bed 3 storey house and are now struggling with the stairs and keeping it clean. I'm actually angry that they were so short sighted about the fact they were aging.

I like your "bungalow". In Australia it's a er...house.

Is it the same in NZ?

Hoovering the stairs is the bane of my life, so I’d be right on board with a bungalow now!

You can always get a stair lift rather than move home.

My parents got a stairlift when dm couldn't manage the stairs. DF never used it, except as a 'goods lift' so he could use the handrail when taking things up and down stairs.

A hand held cordless Shark is your best friend for the stairs. I know....😊

Forget about the bungalow, the cordless is cheaper lol.

To people scoffing at moving to a bungalow in your 50s...

We moved to a house that can be readily adapted to old age in our 30s, with this as a consideration! Pretty standard 1930s semi, but on a level plot with a good driveway and plenty of room to extend. Plan is to have a downstairs bedroom with downstairs bathroom in the not too distant future. We love it here and never want to move again. We can walk or get public transport to everything we need.

DH works with people who are often thinking about old age and frailty. The best ones have all their paperwork sorted, make large and small adaptations to their property, move when they can, are pragmatic about aging/ infirmity and tackle it proactively whilst living a full and interesting life.

Despite our relatively young years we feel like we've seen it all (and had to deal with it) friends and relatives in care homes of varying quality for longer and shorter periods, those in complete denial, those rattling round in too-large unsuitable properties, those that just don't think it though (moving to a bungalow with steps front and back, and with little circulation space inside), staying somewhere isolated, making no financial provision, those that actually don't care about friends or relatives having to make arrangements for them, those who refuse to discuss anything.

Then there are those who just deal with it.

We know who is actually happier and healthier!

In the meantime I always put my socks on standing up and brush my teeth standing on one leg

I'm living it now. I do two long haul holidays a year to escape the rain in the UK. I do a summer holiday to Scotland. We may also add in a European city break. In addition to this we enjoy every day - may go out , may stay home , we like to go to the cinema, eat out whenever we feel like it, go to concerts and plays, I catch up with friends two lunch times every week. Love being retired.

I wonder where all the bungalows are supposed to be?

Where I live, I won't be able to save any money selling my old-age unsuitable house and move into something ready made.
Moving into another house I could convert also won't release equity to reneovate and I don't have unlimited funds for a building project to add a bedroom and showerroom downstairs. Despite being mortgage free in 1 year, most savings will go to DD to pay towards her uni as she won't be able to get the full loan and we hope to top up our pension.

Most people I know in their 50s still have children in education, one in primary, the rest in secondary and families are starting their university route next year.

These people still battle childcare costs, have a mortgage, they don't have time and money to move and disrupt children's education.

It's important to think about it but my 86 year old mum moved unexpectatly into a care home after a fall left her wheelchair bound. No adapted house or flat would have worked as she needed care to do even the basic functions like going to the toilet.

50s ???? Blimey. l'm a good decade past that and still scampering up and down stairs, going to the gym and leading the active life I always have. I would consider a move to a bungalow in my mid to late 70s - but only if I had onset mobility issues. ( Since when has 50s been 'old' ? 🤣 )

There's an awful lot of people presuming an infinite supply of bungalows!! My FIL has actually bought one 12 miles from us ( having moved 180 miles) partly because where we live there are so few that the ones there are are actually out of budget or they are really depressing very tiny 1 bed terraced social housing bungalows -not remotely what he wanted even at 85. Bungalows are not a big thing in some areas- this is one reason they need to sort out leasehold and service charges on flats etc - and particularly in the over 55 developments- I think less people would be so concerned about them if there wasn't the implications with humongous service charges ongoing after moving out etc -

@Bewareofthisonetoo totally agree- I think you cross these bridges as and when- ok if fit and well in early/ mid 70s you might want to do a bit of forward planning , I can see that makes sense, but before then I would cross the bridge 'if needs be'

@CordeliaNaismithVorkosigan

My plan is that once DD is grown up and financially independent, I won’t seek medical treatment for any physical illness I develop

That's completely nuts. Even if you had your DD in your 40s she should be financially independent by the time you are mid 60s. Would you really not have treatment for a breast (or similar) cancer which is likely to be fully treatable and give you maybe 20 more years left to enjoy your old age?

@ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea it's that kind of post you referred to that makes me despair on this thread - not old people wishing their lives away -

Bloody good posts @Crikeyalmighty

I'm 61 and have no intention of giving up my Georgian house for a bungalow within shuffling distance of the Doctor's surgery!

MN is obsessed with care homes but less than 10% of people end up in them.

Carpe diem, OP. Carpe diem, everyone!

I'm 61 and have no intention of giving up my Georgian house for a bungalow within shuffling distance of the Doctor's surgery!

I think it’s a not so covert mission to get us all out of our lovely large houses so they can have them…. 😂

You are meant to eat healthy, stay active, be social and learn new things to keep young.

In order to do that, I'd move to a nice flat, in a nice area to free up money to have lots of fun. Then if I did slow down, I dont need to move as it's already suitable accommodation, near stuff I might need, with friends near by.

My in laws have irritated me by staying in a big house they now can't manage, they don't want to move becayse its hard work, and they can't afford help, and its loccation isnt practical.

My parents in comparison seem so young and carefree just by virtue of their flat and it's location really.

@LornaDuh totally agree- my fIL has now got the bungalow ( well it's an ongoing purchase) within shuffling distance of doctors - ( and pub and shop and bus stop) but he's 85!!! It's still 3 bed detached with garage and nice little garden - and he's going to Frome which is pretty funky because he likes seeing young families and cafes and bars and vintage shops and shows at theatre etc- he's got more bloody life in him at 85 than many posters- yep he's very lucky to be fittish and no chronic conditions but so are plenty of others already writing themselves off - as he says if he needs carers he will cross that bridge or if it is something out his control we will cross that bridge- in the meantime he's getting that glass of wine in at teatime and eating Cook ready meals!! Honestly I do blame the care home obsession and all the funeral ads on TV

I've known old people have sad/depressing last few years in their own homes. Add unsafe into the mix there too. And the ongoing strain on family to pick up the pieces and be on call for every problem.
MIL has recently gone into care. She has put on weight, is clean, eating well and looking better than she has done in years. And dare I say the rest of us have got our lives back.
My plan is to remember this when I'm older and struggling.

I think the people mocking the idea of moving somewhere suitable for lessening mobility in their 50s are missing the point.

Surely it is about planning ahead. If you leave it until you need to move, then mostly people at that stage don't have the energy to be buying and selling houses. It is quite a traumatic (for some) and stressful (for most people) thing to do. It becomes overwhelming.
I would say it is really good advice to look into future proofing from your retirement date at the latest, but for the majority of people who don't move house every 5 years, then keeping an eye on 'what things might be like whilst we live in the next house' and buying with that in mind, makes really good sense.
No of course not many people will need support in their 50s, but for all those of us that tend to live in a house 20 years plus, who start thinking about moving in our late 50s / early 60s, then that is a really sensible thing to have in mind.

I don't think so, @NewName24 , I think it's more that many of us are in or past our 50s and know that would be far too soon for us.
Apart from many still having kids at home, and/or still very active, for many it'll be the case that until they're very near or past pension age it's really impossible to make a reasonable guess on finances, decide what they can afford to spend if they move/how much cash they really need to take out of property. So many factors can change - health, investment returns, inflation, taxes.

I just want to clarify that I won't be moving in my 50s as my mortgage isn't paid off til I'm 64. As retirement age is 68, I was meaning that what I plan to do at 68-72ish. I didn't think the op meant we had to put these plans in action in pur late 40s.

@Sunnnybunny72 yes, the idea it's great if you are still at your old home depends on so many factors - if you are on your own, what the house is like, where it is, if you still have friends you see it groups you attend, mobility, money, what your partners health is like if still around, family connections etc ! There genuinely are plenty of cases where some people would actually have a better quality of life either in over 55 social housing, independent retirement villages, supported living , with family or yes even in residential or nursing care homes in some cases.

Your FiL sounds fab @Crikeyalmighty - mine's very similar. We wanted him to move closer to us when he turned 80 and his reply was "god! why would I do that? It's so boring where you two live!"

He does have a point ...

My dad is similar at 85 and still completely independent. If he drops his car off for a new tyre or MOT, he will walk back the 2/3 miles as he always has. He gardens and is talking about building a deck this spring. He just doesn’t think of himself as old . He lives in a bungalow and has done since his late 50s but that wasn’t an age based move.