What is the ideal plan for old age?

[coffeemonsterrrr]

A hypothetical question here, but, let's say you're middle aged (40's, married with kids, working). Assuming money is no object - wealthy / comfortable but not at Musk-like levels or anything (again this is hypothetical)...
What plans would you put in place for your old age?

I've witnessed a few family members have depressing / sad last few years in care homes and thinking about if there's a way it can be done better. Without any burden on children though.

i've seen 2 GPs + 1 aunt all with dementia and 1GP with repeated strokes. all 4 spent the last few years in a care home. but with funds and an active relative who will 'manage' the care home (visit weekly, talk to staff, keep up to date on medical care etc), then all my relatives were well cared for and content.

in terms of other plans, there is plenty of research about what keeps people healthy for longer - gentle exercise, good diet and social contact are most important. So I plan to make sure i'm living somewhere where it is possible to walk to shops / cafes and to get out for a walk everyday.

People laugh at moving with retirement in mind in their 50s, I moved to a home with a ramp out the front and back door, accessible shower room, handrail down the halls, walking paths that lead to all the shops, GPs, community centre, multiple care homes, and the rest - nearly perfect for retirement in my mid-thirties. The previous occupant was in her 70s, she had a stairlift (and had the electrics updated to be able to handle a stairlift, we've updated further to have solar panels). About half of the people on my road are well into retirement, but there are also a good number of families including the many bungalows in my areas.

One of my neighbours has the dream, or at least appears to - cheerful and content, she goes out on daily walks with her walker, using the bus at the end of the road that has a nice bench when she goes farther, her family comes by regularly as does the handyman, she sits in her garden with her grandkids when the weather is nice in the afternoon, we enjoy the view of the nearby woods and people on the green. Some of the more active ones go on walking groups out to the public footpaths into the countryside regularly, and wheeled shopping bags are fairly normal around here, though I think I may need one with a longer handle.

The plan is to maintain and slowly improve the house, grow finances and focus on wellbeing & relationships. We've got most of the paperwork in place, though some will need updated next yet. For me it's not about worrying about how it'll all end up, I simply admire the kind of life people like my neighbour have and see no need to not put what I can of that in my life now, especially when I hear so often and experienced in my own family people who were so certain they'd happily move once they were retirement age, and then when they got there, they were very resistant to the idea. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to really retire, but I have a bit of it.

I might downsize, but mainly for money. Otherwise I would like to stay in the same location, which is convenient and quite busy, with good public transport. I plan to work 2 days a week for as long as possible, as my job is not stressful but is very social and when my children move out I will be living alone. My family have mostly been quite long living and the traits they share are probably healthy eating and gardening, so I’ll probably do that!

Be wealthy . You have to pay for services in the home and increasingly we'll have to pay for healthcare and access to speedy doctors / operations / dental care etc .

I think we have to be prepared because it's increasingly unlikely we can rely on the state . And no-one should be a burden on their children .

Read Being Mortal by Atul Gawande. Such a helpful book for thinking about what is important as we age (and when caring for parents who are unwell). The moment I'd read it, I made my DH read it too so that we could have some good conversations on this.

Australian bungalows are huge in comparison to British ones, I expect having bungalows with so much space keeps people fit just walking around! Not quite the same in a little British bungalow.

Enjoy everyday as you don't know how many you will have - you could drop down dead tomorrow or live for ages but in poor health unable to do the things you enjoy. I hope to retire at a reasonable age (old enough for financial security but young enough to still be fit and healthy) and have lots of dogs so I will spend my days outside walking and also doing the things I don't have time for now - singing lessons, joining a choir, drawing and painting classes, learning to play the piano and joining lots of community groups so I have a busy social life and many friendly faces I see regularly. Once I become frail or ill so that I cannot do these things and cannot look after myself in my own home I don't know. I don't think I would like a care home, so hopefully I will die suddenly and not experience this! I'll worry about that by later! I do know I won't expect my daughter to look after me, she has her own life to live, so it might have to be a care home. Better be a good one!

My parents managed pretty well. For a start off they were teachers so had a guaranteed index linked pension so they could plan reliably. They lived in a town lots of people retire to, things going on, flat so they could walk even though dm had a heart problem.
When they were starting to find living in the family home hard they sold it and moved into a residential home. Dm had gradually been giving things to me and DBs, sorting out and labelling photos etc.

They both pretty much died at the point where they'd had enough, compos mentis and without lingering illness. That's the part that's impossible to plan.

50s?? I'm early 50s and still running up and down the stairs with no intention of moving into a tiny bungalow with no room for visiting family/friends and no soul. And definitely don't need line dancing classes and flower arranging on tap, thanks!
We don't intend to downsize ever. If necessary, when the time comes we can live in an area downstairs.

If I end up in a care home it must have lots of outside space, beautiful views and if possible lots of opportunities to get out of it for a few hours - I feel trapped just thinking about loving in a care home. Guess I better get saving on for a good one!

I think I saw that scenario on a true crime show.

Although moving to a bungalow in a connected area is good planning, 50s seems too young these days! I will be mid 50s when my youngest is 18 and wouldn’t be surprised if any of my 3 children are still living with me well into my 50s. Retirement age is also 68.

My 50s was when I learned to windsurf (albeit badly) and improved my sailing enough to manage a Laser. My then-teenage dd wouldn't have taken kindly to us moving to a bungalow.😂

We're 63 now, walk 5 miles a day and more at weekends.I'll retire next year, then we'll travel a lot, and we may move to somewhere with more facilities/things going on when we're 70-75 as there really isn't anything in our village.

Blimey. I had two kids in my mid/late 40s and I'm 54 now. Just done a 20 minute HIIT workout and am still in full time mum mode. Def not thinking about slowing down. But looking at my ageing folks I can agree with a lot of the above. A suitable house, keeping fit and active and a decent social life/community in a well equipped area. My folks have let their social life decline and it's only a meal out with immediate family now. Both suffering with mobility and they are getting very isolated in their house. Their world has become so small and dull. Everything is a big deal. Mum does everything in the house including the books, she just wants to stay put and my Dad is a right technophobe. Only seem to function as a pair. No financial worries, but won't spend it either!!!! It's not how I would want to live. Hubby are I are making a huge effort to stay healthy for our kids and ourselves. Can't control everything but hoping I'm here for a long time. I don't want a miserable funeral. I just want a happy, colourful party!

Me neither. I would far rather be in a home with company and care than sitting miserably at home alone, worrying about what woulld happen if I took ill.

I agree. It's the same in NZ. I've never lived in a house with stairs, and yet at the age of 65 I can still manage to get up any I encounter.

I've heard a few stories about people who have fallen down stairs, with dire consequences. I would far rather llive in a "bungalow".

Keep active and slim.
I know plenty of old people who are independent and fit in their 70's and 80's
They're all slim and active.
It's no guarantee of course, but I bet it gives you a way better chance being independent and mentally sharp and of not living years in a care home.

Don't stop moving. Work to build and maintain muscle every day. Don't buy things that make your life easy, I will be looking at buying a house with a lot of stairs that involves a long walk up hill to the shops. Only eat whole foods and spend a lot of time outside in nature.

We are in that situation.

We have savings (through the sale of a company) for: 5years each of care home fees, then university/school fees, savings for big spends when retired (kitchens, boilers, cars) a combination of public/SIPP pensions for income.

Kids can be expensive so currently we just about underspend all we earn but do put extra into pension.

I will retire when the kids finish uni (if they go). I will be 54. I will take my pensions at various points to taper and use savings or a side hustle to top up if required. So public sector pension 1 at 55, SIPP 58 and public sector 2 at 60

I am also trying to keep as healthy and fit as possible.

Have a house that can cope with deteriorating health. I don’t want a bungalow but I want a house that could if needed have a stair lift and a full downstairs bathroom. Next door have a stair lift and have converted a room in to a wet room.

Mix with people of different ages, try new hobbies if your body can cope of course. Keep your mind active. I know a lot of much older people 90 plus through voluntary work, none of them are over weight.

I’m fairly sure all the mirth at the bungalow in fifties comment is from people who’ve never had to arrange care and realise what a game changer the ability to live downstairs can be, and how much it can improve dignity and the ability to stay in your own home. I’m in my thirties and whilst it wouldn’t be a main consideration for our next house, I would put it in a plus column and even consider a bungalow. I have spent literally hours on trying to resolve the fact that my parents house is not suitable. They thought they were too young to move until very cruel illness overtook them and now can’t. I can see the same thing happening with my in laws in their three story house. MIL had a stroke and they talked about moving, now she can get up the stairs again (thankfully) that need has disappeared and they might well have moved the problem down the road - I hope not for all our sakes.

@goingdownfighting from April 2028 pensions will not be able to be drawn till 57. It’s not a proposal it’s a done deal. The only people who will still be able to take their pensions at 55 will be those retired through ill health or who have a protected pension age. So if you have a protected pension age scheme it’s fine.

Really don't do this unless you have to. There is some evidence that houses with stairs lead to a fitter old age and helps with balance and mental agility. Yes move before you have falls or are stuck on one floor, but not in your 50s!
My 83yo mum lives in a first-floor flat and so far, is fine

50s😂😂
this sort of attitude is so depressing!
I am 63, living myself best life, taken up lots of new sports and interests and planning several years of active travelling and socialising.
When I stop wanting to drive to Croatia, will just take cruises instead but will not be sinking into a torpor of ‘falling asleep in front of the television’ !! What an aspiration…