My poetry feedback group think I'm a mysognyist

[janetscoffeepot]

Hello folks

So I wrote this poem:

tea time
stew bubbles
baby babbles
mother can’t get it right.

I asked a mum friend for her thoughts and she said it felt judgmental. It was intended to be sympathetic towards the mother's point of view but she thought I was criticising the mother!

Do you read it as sympathetic?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts ladies!

Sounds like you’re trying something new, and that’s great! My mum has taken up crafting, she’s getting better all the time. My MIL has taken up golf and she’s pretty amazing! Don’t let others put you down, your friend probably thinks that it’s just a bit stereotypical about the mother cooking, doing childcare, and feeling sad. It’s not so much like that these days, at least not with my cohorts - men are cooking, doing childcare, but we’re all feeling a bit less sad as the chores are shared!

Babbling can be anything, it's a fecking noise that can be stressful when you're at your limit and just want peace. Even if it is happy, it's demanding attention - a smile from that baby is going to make this woman feel even worse.

I’m afraid I agree with your group. Stew is what stay at home mothers cooked in the 70s. And the fact that you’d have even knocked up a stew with a baby negates the last line.

It evokes Wendy Craig’s character in Butterflies. Which is about 4 decades out of date for the preoccupations of modern motherhood.

It's a bit short

Never heard of haiku?

I liked the use of the word ‘babbles’. It conjured a feeling of PND or maybe mum guilt for me. The dinner’s on, the baby’s happy, but the mother still feels like she isn’t doing enough.

I still cook a beef stew sometimes .....

😂 OP I'm pinning everything on a big reveal that you're actually an accomplished poet.

I think there's a lot in this and I vaguely know what I'm talking about. Every writer needs to find their audience iyswim. I don't think yours is in Chat.

I understand the point of the poem and it’s not misogynist. But if you wanted to make the point clearer, you’d have written:

tea time
stew babbles
baby bubbles
mother can’t get it right.

Absolutely this, very powerful and says it all right there.
Not sure how anyone can misunderstand it

I don't think this shows a gift for poetry, sorry. I wouldn't wish my 6 year old grandchild thinking the role of a women is to make stew while their child babbles in a high chair and they still aren't getting [life] right tbh

Is stew the dinner or is it the mother in a stew? Are the people commenting readers of poetry, I wonder?

I'm fascinated at how people are reading, or not reading this

Me too, and I wasn't born til the 80s.

I’m assuming this is just a few lines from something longer? I’m not sure the first two lines support the third. What is it the mother can’t get right? The baby sounds happy, the strew is cooking…?

I think because babbling usually doesn't mean crying? So I can see why someone might misunderstand it

OP hasnt said or implied or indicated its a 'role for women', she is just telling someones life like it is

And whats with the previous poster going on about stew being something in the 70s?

Sometimes I think Ive stumbled across a parallel universe on this site, bizarre.

Well making noise that means the mum either is overwhelmed by it or needs to pay attention to perhaps is more accurate then

Same. It's my 18 year olds favourite.

The poem is alright. I don't think its misogynistic though.

I'm only commenting as I see it. I do read poetry.

I’m glad this was posted so I wasn’t the only one thinking if.
It’s just very wrong really.

Wrong :(

Aspiring poet
tentatively shares work:
critic mishears it.

tea time
stew sloppy
baby stroppy
mother can’t get it right.

I think the posts about the word babbles make good points

I don't read it as judgemental, just that is how the mother is feeling.

FWIW we had chicken stew last weekend! I didn't feel oppressed by it, I have multiple degrees, qualifications and a professional career.

"Oppressed by chicken stew" 😂

😁