Last time we spent Christmas alone was when DD was a baby and we lived abroad for a year. That was 11 years ago.
Since then DS (now 7) has come along and we’ve spent 10 Christmases with the in laws. DH’s wider family is humongous (they were even in their local paper for being the biggest family in the town 😂) mine is small, dad dead and mum lives abroad, so we’d have my brothers over if we were hosting. But the in laws are always somewhere in the vicinity and there’s normally lots and lots of them.
I get on with them but family issues are teeming. BIL is a violent wanker who thumped his girlfriend in the face last year and everyone downplays it and claims it was self defence except me and DH. He wasn’t there last Christmas but will be there this one. Our nephew is nearly 11 and picks incessantly on my 7yo. Think Dudley Dursley - spoilt, shit at sharing (but expects my kids to share their presents) and a general PITA. MIL is hypercritical of everything except her violent son and is always moaning that my early 20’s nieces are wearing clothes that are too tight/she doesn’t like their piercings/is that ANOTHER tattoo however will you buy a house etc. SIL has 4 dogs who she brings along and they’re allowed to be in the dining room when we eat. They beg and stare while we eat and now and again I find dog hairs in the food. One niece is 13 and is allowed to swear like a sailor which irritates me as my kids inevitably follow. Her mum and dad are very much “cool parents”, she has a belly button piercing and an TikTok account and my DD ends up moaning that we are too strict whenever she’s been around her.
Other than that the ILs are lovely - really we always have a good giggle, lots of love and fun and coziness. Christmases are as lovely as they are irritating.
But fuck me I am sick of doing this every bloody year. We do it because we live far away and don’t often see them so feel obliged but I really really want to be at home without visitors this year. My son is getting a Switch which he will want to play on on the TV, he wouldn’t be allowed at ILs as Dudley Dursley always brings his PS5 along and plugs it in to the TV, and goes nuts if anyone tries to remove it. I don’t want my kids being around woman beaters so would hate to be near BIL and would probably tell him to fuck off by 11am. I want a dog hair free dinner with meat that I like (can’t bear turkey). I want to lie about the sofa farting if I want to be in my own home. I want to go for a walk in our home town and listen to the local carollers who gather round the cenotaph (very Dickens I know).
So we made an executive decision and tonight we delivered the news. Well DH did. I hovered and did lots of positive gestures.
It went down like a sack of shit, but we did it. A Christmas just the 4 of us at home doing what we want when we want! I’m so happy! Eggnog is rank but the local overpriced cocktail bar do a cracking eggnog cocktail so let’s pretend we all have one and raise a glass to Christmases without in laws!