We did it! We told the in laws we will be spending Christmas alone at home. Raise a glass of eggnog cocktail with us!

[EvilsElsasPetSnowman]

Last time we spent Christmas alone was when DD was a baby and we lived abroad for a year. That was 11 years ago.

Since then DS (now 7) has come along and we’ve spent 10 Christmases with the in laws. DH’s wider family is humongous (they were even in their local paper for being the biggest family in the town 😂) mine is small, dad dead and mum lives abroad, so we’d have my brothers over if we were hosting. But the in laws are always somewhere in the vicinity and there’s normally lots and lots of them.

I get on with them but family issues are teeming. BIL is a violent wanker who thumped his girlfriend in the face last year and everyone downplays it and claims it was self defence except me and DH. He wasn’t there last Christmas but will be there this one. Our nephew is nearly 11 and picks incessantly on my 7yo. Think Dudley Dursley - spoilt, shit at sharing (but expects my kids to share their presents) and a general PITA. MIL is hypercritical of everything except her violent son and is always moaning that my early 20’s nieces are wearing clothes that are too tight/she doesn’t like their piercings/is that ANOTHER tattoo however will you buy a house etc. SIL has 4 dogs who she brings along and they’re allowed to be in the dining room when we eat. They beg and stare while we eat and now and again I find dog hairs in the food. One niece is 13 and is allowed to swear like a sailor which irritates me as my kids inevitably follow. Her mum and dad are very much “cool parents”, she has a belly button piercing and an TikTok account and my DD ends up moaning that we are too strict whenever she’s been around her.

Other than that the ILs are lovely - really we always have a good giggle, lots of love and fun and coziness. Christmases are as lovely as they are irritating.

But fuck me I am sick of doing this every bloody year. We do it because we live far away and don’t often see them so feel obliged but I really really want to be at home without visitors this year. My son is getting a Switch which he will want to play on on the TV, he wouldn’t be allowed at ILs as Dudley Dursley always brings his PS5 along and plugs it in to the TV, and goes nuts if anyone tries to remove it. I don’t want my kids being around woman beaters so would hate to be near BIL and would probably tell him to fuck off by 11am. I want a dog hair free dinner with meat that I like (can’t bear turkey). I want to lie about the sofa farting if I want to be in my own home. I want to go for a walk in our home town and listen to the local carollers who gather round the cenotaph (very Dickens I know).

So we made an executive decision and tonight we delivered the news. Well DH did. I hovered and did lots of positive gestures.

It went down like a sack of shit, but we did it. A Christmas just the 4 of us at home doing what we want when we want! I’m so happy! Eggnog is rank but the local overpriced cocktail bar do a cracking eggnog cocktail so let’s pretend we all have one and raise a glass to Christmases without in laws!

Your hilariously awful in-laws need to be immortalised in a sitcom!

Oh god no it would only encourage them

I LOVE that Coca Cola recipe. That said, have you tried brining your turkey the night before. It can really make a difference to the taste and makes it a lot juicier, just like the Coca cola does to the gammon. I usually also only got a turkey crown or bought a turkey cut up already and then sheet pan roasted it. No one was the wiser, and it cut down on prep time enormously.

Yes, thank you I am aware.
My note of caution was just in case she is showing it in front of her husband-that level of glee can be difficult to disguise.

I speak from my experience when I thought it might not be a bad thing to point out that people (usually men) are often known for re-writing history when circumstances change.

Things that they are more than happy to go along with, can often be presented as something they were bullied into and didn't want to do, when they are looking for excuses to bugger off or somesuch.

That's a fact. It may not apply at all for many people but there will be plenty of others-some on this very board-who will have experienced it.

Anyway, @EvilsElsasPetSnowman has replied to me and said she understands my point but her husband is even happier than she.

So, that's good and I hope she has a great Christmas-and you too you silly sausage!

'Blue cheese' and 'terrine' don't even belong in the same sentence! Do you think your in-laws' home might be a portal to a different and slightly worse universe?

MIL gave up the "finish your food" thing when DD (who had ARFID) was forced to eat a potato while I was out of the room.
She vommed all over the xmas dinner table.

Yeah, I was thinking the same - I hope some of the details have been changed such as the dishes 😬

Is the woman who got thumped in the face ok ???

Well done OP. I cannot emphasis enough how much your children will thank you for this.

I still remember the liberation after my mum pulled the plug on the annual boxing day gathering at my auntie and uncles house after a decade of enduring our yearly character assassination and the resulting harm our mental health. Even now 30 years later if someone mentions "boxing day at Auntie X's house" we all shudder.

I don’t know, she wouldn’t reply to my messages and I don’t really blame her. She left him, thankfully.
MIL is angry that she’s moved on with her life (based on Facebook posts she gets someone else to look at) when precious BIL is still apparently hurting. It honestly beggars belief.

Good for you, although you don't have to justify yourself to MN!

Oh op I am so jealous.
Well done though 😢

I'm beyond jealous 😆
Anyone just starting out with family Christmases- always start as you mean to go on or you get stuck going every year and it becomes tradition that you're just not allowed to break ( according to the inlaws). Then everyone gets old and you have to keep going as you don't know how many years they have left!
Missed every christmas at home with just DH and the kids apart from covid and bitterly regret ever going along with "family Christmas" just to try and fit in at the beginning.
Now my baby is a teenager and it's just not the same even if we did refuse to go 😞

This thread gives me a lovely warm Christmas feeling.
We are doing dinner for my husbands parents but that’s fine as they are angels, and then in evening, me, my husband and son will play on his new X box from Santa, eat Lindt and cwtch up in our pjs with full bellies. Bliss!

'What are we like' is the mantra of utter twats that think that their hideous character flaws are endearing.

I hope she, as well as you, has the most wonderful Christmas too. Sounds like you’ve all escaped, one way or another 🥳

Love this thread, it has got me in a Christmas mood! We do Christmas just me and DH and our 2 DC. Last year old eldest was three and wanted chips and chicken nuggets for dinner, so that’s what she had and DH and I had a cheese and meat platter when everyone was asleep. This year, I’m going to make a roast dinner but if no one wants it I don’t care. I’m making pancakes with DD in the morning and we will go for a walk to the playground in the afternoon.

I refuse to go to ILs and have forced fun while FIL gets progressively more drunk in the corner. Also, they never turn the lights on until night and I find it grim and depressing.

Merry Christmas all!

We have had loads of awesome home alone Christmases with The Teens.
They do some things with an eye roll but they secretly love it (or not so secret as DD confessed)

my school policy got changed after I did this. It was boiled cabbage.

Lovely 😊 it's just such a shame as its so magical for them when they are little, whereas now it's cold hard cash, don't bother with a stocking just gimme the chocolate etc 😆

Make sure you put in the group chat

Thanks for all the kind persuasion, but its now time to be making our own traditions etc - have fun everyone

that lays down the idea subtly that you will now be removing yourselves each and every year...but its not in their face

🤢🤢🤢

Well done, let's hope they don't decide to visit you instead...............

@Artistbythewater in the Olde days lots of posts made each other smile but a strange mob took over claiming anything written in even a slightly amusing way MUST be a TROLL and they would try and dig out old posts because we can't be amusing and cheer each other up.

@DoraGray that is a good point, there is a technical term for it I can't remember where people go low contact for whatever reason but then they forget why they did it.