We did it! We told the in laws we will be spending Christmas alone at home. Raise a glass of eggnog cocktail with us!

[EvilsElsasPetSnowman]

Last time we spent Christmas alone was when DD was a baby and we lived abroad for a year. That was 11 years ago.

Since then DS (now 7) has come along and we’ve spent 10 Christmases with the in laws. DH’s wider family is humongous (they were even in their local paper for being the biggest family in the town 😂) mine is small, dad dead and mum lives abroad, so we’d have my brothers over if we were hosting. But the in laws are always somewhere in the vicinity and there’s normally lots and lots of them.

I get on with them but family issues are teeming. BIL is a violent wanker who thumped his girlfriend in the face last year and everyone downplays it and claims it was self defence except me and DH. He wasn’t there last Christmas but will be there this one. Our nephew is nearly 11 and picks incessantly on my 7yo. Think Dudley Dursley - spoilt, shit at sharing (but expects my kids to share their presents) and a general PITA. MIL is hypercritical of everything except her violent son and is always moaning that my early 20’s nieces are wearing clothes that are too tight/she doesn’t like their piercings/is that ANOTHER tattoo however will you buy a house etc. SIL has 4 dogs who she brings along and they’re allowed to be in the dining room when we eat. They beg and stare while we eat and now and again I find dog hairs in the food. One niece is 13 and is allowed to swear like a sailor which irritates me as my kids inevitably follow. Her mum and dad are very much “cool parents”, she has a belly button piercing and an TikTok account and my DD ends up moaning that we are too strict whenever she’s been around her.

Other than that the ILs are lovely - really we always have a good giggle, lots of love and fun and coziness. Christmases are as lovely as they are irritating.

But fuck me I am sick of doing this every bloody year. We do it because we live far away and don’t often see them so feel obliged but I really really want to be at home without visitors this year. My son is getting a Switch which he will want to play on on the TV, he wouldn’t be allowed at ILs as Dudley Dursley always brings his PS5 along and plugs it in to the TV, and goes nuts if anyone tries to remove it. I don’t want my kids being around woman beaters so would hate to be near BIL and would probably tell him to fuck off by 11am. I want a dog hair free dinner with meat that I like (can’t bear turkey). I want to lie about the sofa farting if I want to be in my own home. I want to go for a walk in our home town and listen to the local carollers who gather round the cenotaph (very Dickens I know).

So we made an executive decision and tonight we delivered the news. Well DH did. I hovered and did lots of positive gestures.

It went down like a sack of shit, but we did it. A Christmas just the 4 of us at home doing what we want when we want! I’m so happy! Eggnog is rank but the local overpriced cocktail bar do a cracking eggnog cocktail so let’s pretend we all have one and raise a glass to Christmases without in laws!

Of course they still get a stocking each!
Santa fills it with little token gifts and puts it at the foot of their bed. Of course as they stay up later than Santa he does have to get up early and put them there around 6am rather than the night before - but as Santas bloody dog normally wants a wee about then its fine!

Thank you for that, we told them this morning and they were delighted. DS is so happy he can enjoy all his presents to himself. He says if Santa gets him a Switch it means he can play it to himself on Christmas Day (or so he thinks, I have ordered Mario Kart and wheels, he is sharing with his mum 😂). DD is 11 and a bit old for toys, she’s getting concert tickets, some stuff to decorate her room and money so no pressure to share, but she’s an introvert like her dad and I know she finds the company very draining. They both said “Yes we don’t have to spend another Christmas with Dudley”. I didn’t actually know which way the news would go as they love their GPs but I also didn’t realise how much they feel like they suffer too

Hahaha Brilliant! I think this year Santa will ignore the grumpy teenager in our house and sneak a stocking on the bed again. Have a lovely Christmas 🎄 xxx

@Rainbow1901 good story. Powerful story.

This is the thing it's always the elderly and they could die any moment, what about the young who can also die and he
Have far less Xmas.

We even had COVID Christmas with PILs as they were in our bubble and we were in a zone that didn’t have many restrictions.

The point about your teen is what tipped us - DD is 11 and showing signs of slipping through our fingers. We’ve gone from being her sun moon and stars to being the most uncool people ever. I’m aware she’s growing up and there may only be 7 or 8 more Christmases where we definitely have her to ourselves, and I don’t wanna spend it in a dog hair infested room with a violent man and a bunch of half wit adults.

Another thing I thought of that I’m so happy about. I am a board game pedant. I love a board game, and stick by the rules. I take it quite seriously 🤣. DHs family are so cavalier about it they say “Let’s just do whatever we want” and before you know it, we’re playing Monopoly and they’re buying houses for properties they don’t even own, jumping straight to buying hotels and leaving jail after just one non-double dice roll. I’m aware the issue is me and my pedantry but I get a twitchy eye playing with them and will be happy to play with my lot who are instructed to take Monopoly seriously 😂

You lost me at blue cheese terrine 🤢🤢🤢

I love my in laws and I love my parents.

Due to various reasons we have Christmas at home, just the two of us this year.

DH is a bit disappointed.

On the other hand I am absolutely over the moon!

I haven't admitted to him, but Christmas 2020 in lockdown is one of my favourite Christmasses!

It's the first Christmas, since then, that I've truly wished for a white Christmas.

We can have a nice meal, go out for a walk, then go home and watch all the Christmas TV and have a decent drink. We might even play some games if I can convince DH to play a game that isn't PS5 related (or convince him to buy a PS5 game that I might actually be able to do!).

Well done OP and Merry Christmas to you and your lovely little family!

Thank you, you too.
I did stop dressing their Build a Bears in a new xmas jumper each year on Xmas eve and seeing if they noticed when they put them away on top of the wardrobe but we have a Christmas Cocktail competition (making not drinking - mostly) now which is relatively new so its evolving but still lovely.

100%! And people who think their shot behaviour is a given and should be accepted because it’s just who they are.

Honestly we went on a two week holiday with them once. Once being the operative word. We initially arranged to eat with them every night, and would arrange to meet at a particular restaurant always at 7pm. After day 3 we gave up, because they were always at least an hour late (our DD was 4 and DS was 8 months at the time, no consideration for the fact we had two small hungry children sitting waiting) would text asking we don’t start without them and would turn up with no apology saying “What we like! Lastminute.com or what! John dropped a glass and hurt his foot, Lucy struggled to do her make up because of the heat and Dudley was taking forEVer to put his shoes on, and I didn’t get in the shower til 6.45. What we like ey!”.
Cunts. Seeing as you asked.

Im starting to think I don’t like them as much as I thought.

Well done OP!

I second a comment from a PP that the 2020 lockdown Christmas was my favourite. It was the first Christmas ever for just me and my DH and none of our families. No driving across the country, no sleeping in tiny uncomfortable beds in overheated rooms etc.

I've put my foot down since then and every Christmas Day is just the 2 of us. My Mum in particular is highly wounded but unfortunately for her the manipulative sad face guilt trip doesn't work any more.

And breathe.

It comes to something when covid provides relief! You have 100% done the right thing; they grow up so fast. Enjoy your lovely Christmases at home with your lovely family 🎄❤️

And I'm with you on the board games!!!

Have a joyous Christmas, OP & family.

I like blue cheese a lot, but even I would draw the line at blue arse terrine

Happy days, OP. Welcome to the club.

My family had been fed up of me dragging them along to my parents' house for Christmas dinner cos 'family', when really they wanted a smaller family Christmas at home.
No nasty in laws or extended family causing the problem, instead an unhouse-trained puppy who goes where she likes, mostly in the dining room where they then expect us to eat despite the poo stains on the carpet - and the generally unclean state of the rest of the house too. Some years we'd go round the week before and clean, but I refuse to do that now. My parents are getting on in years, but they have the pleasure of an able bodied, but lazy, sibling of mine still living with them at the age of 50!

Good for you and DH, OP!

Santa gave my DS a Switch last Christmas, too, including MarioKart for me the whole family He was delighted and yours will be too! Enjoy!

Well done OP! I didn't mind going to DH's family for Christmas Day before we had the DC, but after a few years of dragging them away from their presents in the morning to sit in motorway traffic, taking our own food because the in-laws found it too stressful to cater for vegetarians, and watching their cousins opening and playing with all their gifts while DH bizarrely insisted it would be rude and showing off for our DC to take any of their new toys with them, I put my foot down. Since then, we stay at home for Christmas Day. I gladly offer to host any of the in-laws (and no, they aren't made to eat a vegetarian Christmas dinner if they come - although they rarely do come), and also happily go to any of the in-laws on Christmas Eve, Boxing Day, for New Year etc - whatever DH wants. It works for us (even DH admits he prefers it and the DC do, too) and I haven't heard the in-laws grumble (and would take no notice if they did, to be honest). (My parents don't celebrate Christmas, so no obligations there either.)

Good for you. My advice is never start it from when you have kids. We spent every Christmas with just us every year.

Merry Christmas!!!! I hope you have the best Christmas ever! Let me know what time monopoly starts and I'll be there. I'm a stickler for the rules too 😂

Your Christmas will be wonderful. This year, it will just be me and DH for the day. We have 4 DC plus their partners and children. As a family, we have all chosen to stay at our respective homes this year and enjoy the day rather than rushing around everywhere and trying please everyone. My grandchildren are getting to the age where they want to stay home and play with their toys. We are going to meet in the New Year for a family lunch. Much better for everyone.

Cheers to your Xmas with your immediate family snuggled in your home!

You get to a certain point once kids get older where the roles shift and the GP’s home is no longer the Xmas hub. They instead come to you some years.

I actually think Xmas is the worst time to be with extended family. Spending the few midwinter daylight hours crammed inside (including pets) with heating on, and few means of escape, because it’s too miserable and dark to even go for a stroll and everything’s closed. No wonder people irritate the shit out of each other.

Better to get together with extended family in midsummer, when the days are long, the weather better, kids/dogs can mess around outside. And no pressure of Xmas cheer, over-excited kids, over-eating and booze.

If a compromise needs striking to placate family, there’s always the possibility of meeting up for a family walk and pub lunch, at some point over the festive season rather than in someone’s home. Saves anyone having to host, cater or cook, as well as people being lumbered with undesirables at a cramped table. Plus, easier to get away when you’ve had enough!

Yay, well done! I hope you have the best, most chilled out Christmas ever. We have never done Christmas outside our own home apart from one year when my dad was having chemo so we took Christmas to him. We did have several awful Christmases hosting rude, selfish, pugnacious relatives though, I used to spend a fortune and flog myself trying to please them and it was always a disaster. We are NC with them now (for non-trivial reasons, there was police involvement) and my dad now lives with us, so Christmas is relaxed and blissful. Eggnog cocktails all round!

Well done!! 💥

Well done, my ILs aren't the issue, it's my own family!!! But I implemented very clear instructions many years ago and I haven't looked back. Much to my families horror we have the traditional dinner on Christmas Eve, it's more relaxed, we enjoy it more and then Christmas Day is present day. Don't tell anyone but we stay in PJs, we don't care, we eat what we fancy, when we fancy, we don't cook (unless it's sticking picky bits in packets out the freezer) and we dedicate the day to what we like. MIL thought it was a fantastic idea and embraced it with us. My family went into meltdown. So, when it's their turn, we don't go until Boxing Day at the earliest because we aren't changing our plans. We are a family that doesn't broach difficult conversations early so the clock is ticking as to who's doing what where this year, and I'm truly looking forward to it!!!!

🥳

The swearing neice would have done it for me and cut them all off from Christmas years ago 😅 so the fact you lasted this long deserves a drink and box of chocolates!

I often wish I had a much bigger family with in-laws and what have you but when I come on here and read these kind of sagas it makes me realise i don’t and I’m happy with my little bundle, lol

Sorry but they will turn up and use the excuse that they didn’t think you meant it as it’s Christmas time