Quick straw poll. A 12yo coming home from school to an empty house on their birthday?

[Crunchymum]

12yo / year 7.

Will be coming home from school to an "empty house" but will be getting changed and walking round aunts house where there will be a birthday cake / dinner etc with the whole family.

Parent 1 is at work and parent 2 has to drop another child at a club so usually drops in to see their sibling why they wait on that day. Sibling has agreed to have a mini party for the birthday child and grandparents will pop in.

Parent 1 wants Parent 2 to wait in (and the other child to miss club). Parent 2 thinks the child will be fine / or Parent 1 can book annual leave.

[I'm the sibling and more than happy to have them over for a few hours that afternoon]

And yes they have stuff planned at the weekend. If it wasn't "club night" it would just be the immediate family at home in the evening (and maybe grandparents would pop in for cake as they do for local birthdays)

I think its fine as it is, if you go to a club you commit to going (unless ill or other emergency) not just turning up when you feel like it, and its not going to stop the sibling and parent joining in the birthday tea.

It looks like some kind of grimacing blueberry, but I'm none the wiser!

It’s completely fine. Child is going home to drop instrument and change. I would much rather change at home in my room than sort out clothes to go my aunt’s house and change in her bathroom.

As a parent I would have taken time off to collect them from school, surely one of them can?

I do think that if Parent 1 has the problem with this, Parent 1 should book leave or WFH if that is an option.

Well it wouldn’t work for my family but if the child is ok with it, then it’s fine. As long as they are definitely ok with it… kids can often say what they think they should say but not how they really feel.

Seems a bit sad that the other parent hasn’t taken a half day - I assume they do a job where taking leave is a challenge?

I think it’s fine! Quick change and party, rather than hours home alone, which would be a bit sad. It sounds lovely that you’re all close and doing things together

I think the child was die of embarrassment. Parents don't collect in Y7.

🪩 is it a glitterball?

I think the arrangements are fine as they are. You being there when she gets to your house is the important bit and that's when the birthday begins.

There's many children whose birthday tea won't be until later because they are at after school club or whatever.

How old is other dc, do they need taken to the club?

@Crunchymum so really neither partent wants to put themselves out and change their routine for their childs birthday?? sibling can miss club for once!

It sounds like a good idea to me. They’re still getting all the cake
and seeing their family! Just popping home to get changed while people get home from work and clubs etc

This, surely?

It all sounds absolutely fine to me. They’re hardly sitting alone with a pot noodle, abandoned and sad.

Different suggestion - can grandparents collect from child’s house and bring to your house?

I don’t see a problem, my DC would have not been bothered at all. But we don’t take days off for birthdays during the week.

I wouldn’t make the other DC to miss a club either. This birthday child is getting a lot of attention and fuss by the sound of it, it’s not like they’ve been left alone all evening with a glass of tap water and dried up piece of bread.

This is all being way over thought!!

It’s absolutely fine, plenty has been planned to celebrate the birthday, parents will see them in the morning before school too!

My parents would have been working if it were a week day, they wouldn’t have taken annual leave for my birthday!

Child at club has an exam coming up (dance, karate, who knows) and it makes no sense for them to miss it for the sake of their sibling popping home, dropping bags and changing and then walking 15 mins to a lovely family party.

As already explained the DC who has club is coming up to an exam so missing a lesson isn't an option (it's ballet for transparency). It's also bloody expensive. My DD goes to same class but different level / day.

WFH isn't an option for parent 1.

Grandparents also work so would be joining us about 5pm.

By age 12, child is old enough to realise that parents have to work and other things have to happen, such as sibling's preparing for music exams or whatever. They aren't coming home to an empty house in the sense of being home alone all evening. They are popping back to drop stuff off and get changed, then heading to a celebration.

It would be fine for me and my family. The birthday is being celebrated, but life goes on as well.

I don't see an issue with the plan, he's 12 not 6

But also, if parent 1 has a problem with it, parent 1 needs to come up with the solution. Not expect parent 2 and other DC to provide a solution for them.

Leave a surprise present for the child 'to find', when they get home to start the birthday off as soon as they are home. And maybe some sweets (or whatever they like that's a treat) and a (small) bottle of favourite pop for while they get changed.

This.