Share the worst cake recipe you ever tasted

[SisterAgatha]

Someone I know copies everything I do and tries to pass it off as her own work. I can’t cut them out, I’m stuck with them blah blah blah.

finally after years of this, my friend said to start having some fun with it and share the worst Christmas cake recipe I can find. But I can’t find one sufficiently bad 🤣

Help me.

That is a fucking abomination
Dirty bastards

A friend was very flatteringly keen on a lemon cake I'd made, so I shared the recipe assuring her it was easy and fool-proof.
She sadly reported that hers was not good. I was shocked, until she added that she'd realised they ditched their kitchen scales and rather than weighing the ingredients she'd guessed.
So: steal or sabotage her scales 😁

Oh my goodness this thread is hilarious!

Where is that from??? The "festive no-bake fruitcake" somehow looks worse than the sausage cake

@Aroastdinnerisnotahumanright - I just found the image on FB one day. I'm guessing it's some sort of American Bundt pan cookbook with the way the pan is mentioned in each recipe and the fact it mentions Graham Crackers but no clue other than that.

The bottom right recipe sounds horrendous too! You can just make out enough to see it I think.

https://copykat.com/kitty-litter-cake/

I'm probably over egging the pudding with this suggestion but it's what google came up with when I typed in disgusting cake.

There is an awful orange cake recipe out there somewhere. My mum made it and it as she served it, said how it had involved boiling oranges and then blending the peel and adding to the cake. Honestly, I suspected it might not be great but oh!! - my DC and I struggled to raise our spoons to our mouths, bless them; about 13 at the time but did because of all the effort that had gone into it. We all ate in silence, no-one saying how everything was wrong, flavour, texture ... aftertaste.

I think my mum prob binned the recipe though.

Brilliant thread!

These recipes remind me of one I saw in one of the Sunday tabloids over 10 years ago now.
It was supposed a starter and not a dessert, but I reckon if you don't tell her what it's actually called but just say it's lovely and a really easy pudding she might be persuaded to do it.
(HOT PRAWNS)
Mix shelled prawns with a tin of Ambrosia rice pudding and a couple of tablespoons of tomato ketchup. Heat and serve.

You made that up @SiobhanSharpe

No paper, not even a tabloid, could conjour up a recipe that awful.

This thread is making me wonder why, why do people insist on putting veg in cakes?
Just eat veg if cake scares you that much.

I once ate pumpkin cake at a party and I wonder if it hasn't been cooked properly before they blended it into the batter because the cake was fully of little stringy fibrous bits 😵‍💫

I also made some blackberry scones one from an online recipe which seemed to have an unusual amount of bicarbonate of soda, but i checked it twice... they were inedible

He also used lard in the buttercream for that kind of carnivore touch
^

😂

Ok so this is probably outing, but I once made a chocolate cake. I'd understood that you can swap out butter for oil, more or less. Unfortunately the only oil in our student accommodation was "curry oil" meant for stir frying I think.
Curry chocolate cake was... different..

A cake that someone actually paid for, apparently it was a thing - sponge cake covered in cream cheese - nothing added. Very cheesy. Not great

I worked for hours on a black forest gateaux for a contribution to a dinner party a few years ago. Couldn't figure out why no one was complimenting it until I tried it myself. Turns out the Boozy black forest jam I'd bought from a Christmas market was actually a chutney with onions and spices.

Slimming world scan bran ‘chocolate cake’

it is nothing like chocolate cake.

I made a Nadiya Hussein recipe from The Times a few Christmas’ ago - I think it had cranberries in.
their must have been a typo as it just didn’t ever set.
After double the cooking time, I chucked the sloppy mess down the waste disposal unit!

I tried a recipe substituting oatmeal for flour (lower carb?). I didn't have any oatmeal so stuck some out of date instant porridge with syrup in from the back of the cupboard, grated apple, grated carrot and some prunes. It was 3 eggs but I only had two tiny ones.
I did think about putting some cocoa powder in to make it look more like a Christmas cake but decided against that.
Anyway, it was shit. It was also flat. Like you'd chopped some cardboard into a flapjack and soaked it in the washing up water.
I went out and bought a pack of chocolate mini rolls instead.

How come it was so bad? Looks lovely. Im not a baker so wouldnt have a clue how to tell if somethings going to come out right

Yep. Find an old fashioned mince pie recipe, that actually includes mince.
We did this once, partly because I think DH was frustrated by all the vegans/vegetarian/pescatarians we were feeding and wanted a pudding for carnivores.
They were not good.

or Chinese 5 spice. I have to be careful when reaching for allspice because for some reason I often mistakenly set out reaching for the chinese 5 spice, which I actually hate, I dont know why its in the cupboard.

I once (politely) tried to eat a vegan Eccles cake.
Cardboard.

With a cake slice!