Share the worst cake recipe you ever tasted

[SisterAgatha]

Someone I know copies everything I do and tries to pass it off as her own work. I can’t cut them out, I’m stuck with them blah blah blah.

finally after years of this, my friend said to start having some fun with it and share the worst Christmas cake recipe I can find. But I can’t find one sufficiently bad 🤣

Help me.

I don't know the recipe alas, but I was once served a vegan chocolate cake that was so terrible that a friend and I completely lost it at a dinner party. I almost choked, both on the cake and because I could hardly breathe for laughing. It was one of those where you can't catch each other's eye for fear of setting yourself off for another fit.

At one point, my friend offered me another slice and I nearly had a medical emergency from trying to stifle my laughter. Luckily we got away with it and the person who had baked the cake didn't notice. Poor thing, it was like eating glue.

I went to work in this kitchen that did catering for office lunches etc. it was through the jobcentre and the place was occupied by people who'd just left prison, severe learning difficulties etc. I felt a little out of place but went in for it.
The first thing I had to make was a gluten free lemon cake...with instant mashed potato. 🤢🤣
I followed the recipe and was appalled when the head cook got a spoon and asked me to taste the mix. 'mmmm' I said. Virtually on the brink of projectile vomiting.
I left after about a week. 🤣

I have the reverse - I've given recipes to a friend that are tried and true and she always ruins it but tells everyone it's my recipe! I gave her my fave banana bread recipe which is so simple and she grossly underbaked it and everyone looked at me like it was my fault!

Any beetroot or courgette cake recipe. “You can’t taste the veg” they always say, “it just makes the cake beautifully moist!” You absolutely can taste the veg…

I’ve posted before but the most significant one was that on a special occasion birthday she asked where I was going to celebrate, I foolishly told her, she booked the same place as me, on the same day, took balloons and a cake, blew out the candles and uploaded the photos on to Facebook so people would wish her a happy birthday.

her birthday is the month before mine, a full two weeks tbh even if it was the same day, she didn’t have to book the same place 🤣

so that’s the major one, the other examples are things like taking my recipes and claiming she made them up. Buying the same stuff as me. Colouring her hair the same. There’s so many examples.

OK, I think the cake recipe may be the least of your worries here

It’s full on petty but I am all for it! I have tried being direct, being subtle, all the grown up approaches. I think sabotage is the only way 🤣

and these cake stories are funny

At least she hasn't copied your tattoos which a siblings ex did with me...

That’s also on the list sadly.

Oh! Welcome to the club!

There really is nothing I can do so I just don’t tell her anything now but she asks around so that she can get more on me. It’s not even just me, she does it to a few people.

So you see now why I need a fictitious cake that she HAS to copy…. that tastes like shit 🤣

😂😂😂brilliant!

Not a Christmas cake, but I made a chocolate cake in secondary school, but used salt instead of sugar! Had no idea till it was cut and served to the teacher! 😱
In my defense, the salt and sugar were both kept in large, kilner type jars with no labels!

If it needs to taste like shit, try the pie from The Help 😆😆

Write out this actually lovely Spiced Apple Cake recipe but swap the mixed spice for all spice and the cider for cider vinegar before handing it over.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/applecake_90046

Ahaaa!!! This is it!!!

😳take whatever petty revenge you must, she's nuts.

My SIL and I are obsessed with sending each other pictures of awful recipes we find. This is the most recent one I set her. Some of the ones on the right sound "interesting" too but nothing can beat sausage cake.

That needs a trigger warning!!! I spat out my tea 🤣🤣🤣

I made a national trust vegan chocolate cake in lockdown. It was a cake I'd had a few times in their cafes. I followed their recipe. I used all the right ingredients.

It looked and tasted like unset concrete.

@DoctorAngelface I promise it wasn’t me!

I'd add polyfilla @SisterAgatha .

You have to check out Dylan Hollis on Youtube - he recreates vintage recipes .... with varying results.
Notable fails are anything from the Depression era!

@SisterAgatha - hahaha sorry for the loss of your tea. 😁

It's going to take something next level from my SIL to beat that one though. Most of the recipes we shared before this were all weird things in aspic.

We can't decide what it would taste like though. With the coffee, nuts and spices we think it's possible it'll be like a carrot cake with a weird texture and you don't actually taste the sausage. Neither of us want to be the one to try it out though. 😂

Any cake that includes rapeseed oil instead of butter.
Tried it in sponge fairy cakes when baking with the kids, it sounded easier, it was gross.

Kidney bean, gluten free brownies. Absolutely the saddest 'cake' I've ever tasted.

A vegan chocolate and courgette cake
(nasty and sloppy)