I’m doing something so shameful

[lemonblue]

At the age of 31 I have come to my local nature reserve with a few cans of cocktails and am sat here drinking them on my own. I feel like a loser. DH is at home with the kids and I told him I was going to Tesco. So after I’ve done here I’m going to have to walk to Tesco and buy something.

My life is crap and I know it sounds like I’m feeling sorry for myself. Maybe I am. If I drank in the house DH would say something then it would just ruin my mood.

I won’t get “drunk” I know when to stop but I like the tipsy feeling.

Ergh🤦🏻‍♀️

@ObieJoyful Sounds divine!

Hi everyone, sorry for only just coming back on. Not long after I posted, I set off back to home. All was fine and I got back feeling a bit more positive.

Thank you all so much for the support and advice☺️

Love DS so much obviously but gosh he is exhausting😅 DH told me to stay in bed this morning and that he’d go down with DS so I could have a bit more rest. That lasted all of 5 minutes as DS is very much a mummy’s boy and hates when I’m not there🫣

I’m feeling a lot less guilty now as I’ve realised an hour or so to myself is what I need otherwise I think I’d probably lose the plot!

Thanks again to you all, feeling a lot better today/tonight❤️

🙄

Just read your update op. sounds like you just needed a breather yesterday. Totally understandable X

I had a picnic with my friend today. We sat on rocks, up a big hill and had a small bottle of Prosecco each. I’m sure nobody would’ve thought we were tramps…

I don’t like pubs, but I do love nature.

Right back at you. It's a brilliant book that changed my life. I recommend it to anyone who feels their drinking is out of control.

You deserve some self care. But daytime drinking especially when concealed is a slippery slope. Been guilty of wine o’ clock myself but now stopped fully except for meals out. Go for a good walk, swim, gym no friends to catch up with?

I think you sound very normal. Xxx

Is this all you ever offer? And will it help anyone other than you as I guess your view always needs to come from the moral high ground?

The other questions had been asked by other people. I actually was concerned for the person as someone who has experience of family with alcohol issues and concern that they’d hurt themselves or others.

The irony of you saying I had the moral high ground and the content of your message..

Glad your wee break made you feel better. If your DH understands things are tough and tries to share lie ins maybe you can agree time to yourself during the day sometimes. Then you won't have to feel that you're creeping off for a drink or doing something shameful. Really, the best way to get through the tough times is for you both to help each other.

There's nothing shameful about taking time for yourself once in a while. It's essential for your sanity actually. Having a drink in nature sounds like a good way to unwind. Don't feel bad.

OP, I have an autistic son, so I get how hard it can be for sure! I don’t drink but there’s many times I say to myself if I drank I’d be having one right now-due to the stress 😂 I’m a single mum but if I had a partner I’d often try and get out on my own for a while.

I actually get this, I don't drink alcohol but the need to escape definitely.

I actually went on part one of a 6 week course today for parents/ carers of children with additional needs. We spoke about this, and I am going to say to go to your GP if you feel like this, BUT my lived experience is you go to the gp. You tell them your struggling and they just throw pills at you 🙄.

If you want that take them, for me I have taken them and they don't help me personally. But I do know people who take them and they seem to work for them. Having a neurodiverse child is hard........ try and find local workshops/ courses/ support groups for parents of neurodiverse/ additional needs children.

One thing also from today was what do you do for yourself that you enjoy....... there was 4 of us there, and you know not one of us could think of anything we do just for us. And until your asked that question you don't even realise that you don't do anything you enjoy, as your life is taking care of the child(ren) and/or husband.

So another suggestion I have is to speak to your husband. Hopefully you guys can sort some time where he can be at home with your son and you can do something for you..... go for a walk, get your nails done, do a knitting or crafts class, go out with friends once a month for lunch/ dinner, or get unapologetically wasted once a month. Whatever you can think that if you had the time/ chance to do, honestly try and do it.

Then atleast on the particularly hard days at home, you have something to look forward to

Aww so glad your feeling a little brighter, it’s not always easy to be kind to ourselves but as they say you can’t take of of others if you don’t take care of you 🤗. Side note every Friday after work I used to buy two cans of M&S pornstar martini I drank one whilst waiting for the train and one for on the train home also munched on a huge bag of crisps it was the most perfect 1.5 hours of my week ❤️