Anyone regretted an abortion?

[YouFoundMe]

Interested to know.

Was just reading the BBC article about fertility rate dropping.

I'm not in a position of aborting and I never would unless my life was at risk but I know many people do it and Im curious to know if anyone has regretted it after and why?

I had one last April. I was 24, living and my parents' house and had been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I don't regret it, but I was devastated and cried for weeks. I felt like someone I actually knew had died. Even then, it's still better than if I hadn't gone through with it. I'm not in a position financially to support a child and I've since broken up with the boyfriend.

The op asked did women regret the decision. Both yes and no are valid answers to that question.

No I don’t regret mine. I was 33 and had only been dating the guy for a couple of months. I was already a single parent to an 8 yr old and didn’t want to be a single parent to two kids. I knew me and the guy I was dating wouldn’t be together long term. I’ve made son shitty decisions in my life but that was one of the best ones I made.

Yes they are.

"I want to know if you have regretted it" has two possible answers - yes or no.

I had one at 23, 37 years ago, I have never regretted it for one second. When I came round from the anaesthetic( they were all done surgically then on the NHS) all I felt was massive relief that I was no longer pregnant. It was completely the wrong time and circumstances for me and my fiancé, whom I married 2 years later and subsequently had 2 children with.

I'm sorry to hear that. I do think women can sometimes rush in to abortion and that is when regret happens. It is really important that a woman has the opportunity to explore her feelings and to make the decision that is right for her. Proper non-directive pre abortion counselling is essential for anyone who is in any way unsure.

I had an abortion due to ffa. I had approximately half an hour to make the decision (It's a long and complicated story). That wasn't right. I should have had as much time as needed to make the decision.

It was an easier decision for me as the baby was never going to survive. If he hadn't died in utero, he would have died shortly after birth. However, I should have been given the opportunity to explore the decision in more depth.

I 100% agree with you. I resent the fact I couldn't terminate my pregnancy for a ffa at home. The consultant in London offered to terminate in London (the injection to stop the heart) and that I could go home to give birth. The obs in Ireland nearly had a heart attack at the suggestion that he might be asked to deliver a baby that had been terminated so I had to go through the abortion in England.

No. No regrets at all. Wrong man and wrong time. It was 35 years ago and it never crosses my mind unless something like this pops up.

When I was pregnant with my second child my initial tests came back with a higher than expected risk of Downs so I had an amniocentesis. I would have had a second termination if positive because I would not have wanted the impact on my first child.

My abortion was less traumatic than most of my periods.

@Unknown1111 I’m so sorry you had that experience, it sounds desperately sad.

No. I was 24, and in an abusive (physically and emotionally) relationship. If I'd had the baby I'd have been tied to him for ever in one way or another. He would have been a dreadful father. The pregnancy, and subsequent abortion, was the epiphany I needed to walk away from that relationship. I do feel guilt though. Not sure why, as I was on the pill at the time, so it's not like I'd been reckless. But it's something that I wish had never happened, even though I made the right choice.

From what planet are you reading the replies here? The OP stated she's not in a position to abort and never would. She's received replies from many pps who have gone through what she's asking about and who have given their personal feelings about their experience. That's what OP asked for.
Tbh, I did wonder at the OP posing this question from that point of view. I found that strange, then your post was even stranger.
Would you like to explain your interpretation? Because it is about every woman who's taken the time to reply with their experience. It is all about them. Obviously. Unless there's something missing here, in which case, do tell.

I had termination aged 16 and 21 .Both early and have no regrets.

Mixed feelings. I dont really think about it often but like others there are sometimes moments of ‘what if?’

I read a statistic that 1 in 3 women in the UK will have a termination in their lifetime..
so I must know a fair few others in my circle of friends/family/colleagues/acquaintances yet will never know who. I’ve never discussed it with anybody.

@whatsthatwordagainfeet I found when I talked openly about my abortion, other women told me about theirs. It turned out all the female relatives of my generation on one side of my family had had one!

I had one at 28, never a moment of doubt or regret, and so glad I'm not now forever enmeshed with the horrible father of the abortion. It was one of the reasons I aborted, so that I never had to be involved with him again. It was the last time I fucked him after 7 years, the condom broke and morning after pill didn't work. Thank fuck I live in a country where I could get an abortion.

I would add that I had never felt so cocooned and cared for than post-abortion in hospital, it was really lovely.

Now I don’t regret it. But when I had the abortion, which was my choice, I was emotionally broken for almost 2 years. I struggled with the emotional healing, which led to me leaving work. I did have counselling. I couldn’t be around people with children or babies or pregnant women - it was awful and dark.

But I did rebuild my life eventually, I was so glad that I wasn’t stuck with the guy - he was awful.

Looking back, I have no regrets. I’ve had children on either side of the abortion. I love what my children bring to my life which occasionally triggers “what would they have been like” - but there is so much going on in my life that I refuse to live with regret.

Regret, as in wish it could have been otherwise, in an abstract way, yes.

Regret as in if I had the time again I would make a different decision, no. I made the right decision in difficult circumstances and have moved on.

Not at all.

Mine was in the mid 1970s. I was in second year at Uni and the mini pill failed. It was the first person I had sex with. I had one and never regretted it even although it was not as " easy" technically as it is now. Had to see a doctor - you were supposed to have two who would state it would be bad for your mental health to continue. The other one was the doctor who did it who I saw for the first time in hospital. You were treated like it was a disgrace by the nurses. The doctor was more kindly. A flatmate didn't speak to me for months after it. She was Catholic. I remember looking down at the floor of the theatre and seeing a massive bloodstain underneath the area I was directed to. I never told my parents. I've had a great life and would have had a shit one if I had not had the abortion. No regrets!

I'm a bit suspicious of questions like this at the minute when there's a country where women are not only having the choice taken away from them but women are dying because they can't get the care they need when having a miscarriage.

I'm glad so many women are saying they didn't regret it. There's already been one I feel I've got blood on my hands comment.

Oh and no, I don't regret having one

No not at all. Surgical, 9 weeks NHS in 1983 age 19. It was quite a drawn out process. I had to see 2 doctors and a social worker. Only general anaesthetic in those days.

My life would have been ruined and I wouldn’t have the lovely DDs and DH I have today.

I think it’s very important for people to see replies of plenty of women saying they don’t regret it. IMO, access to abortion is a fundamental human right and nobody should be made to feel guilty or ashamed for exercising that human right.

I had an abortion in my early 20s, no regrets at all, it would have been an awful situation for both me and the child. I’m now married to a different man and pregnant with my very much loved and wanted first baby. Even when it took us a while to conceive I never felt it was karma or I was being punished and I still didn’t regret my previous abortion.

I had a surgical abortion and to be honest I didn’t find the procedure traumatic, it was “fine” and pretty painless and everyone was sensitive about it. I have suffered no lasting effects and would do it again if circumstances required.