Anyone regretted an abortion?

[YouFoundMe]

Interested to know.

Was just reading the BBC article about fertility rate dropping.

I'm not in a position of aborting and I never would unless my life was at risk but I know many people do it and Im curious to know if anyone has regretted it after and why?

People are literally answering the question she asked, do they regret it, most have answered no.

Are we reading different replies?

Many personal responses, and I'll include my own - I absolutely DO NOT regret terminating my pregnancy at 17. I had the luxury of CHOICE 30 years ago, so many women now do not have that luxury and that makes me feel so desperately sad for them.

I had an abortion and I regret it. If I could go back in time I would not have had it.

Im curious to know if anyone has regretted it after and why?

No they aren’t.

Yes I think so but only because I only aborted because I had severe health anxiety at the time and I’m not sure I was thinking clearly. I had counselling and was pregnant again 7 months later which I know sounds bad.

I think that it is really important that it is talked about, all experiences whenever women can. Coming from a country where we couldn't have abortions until recently it was women's personal stories that took the referendum over the finish line. Breaking stigma surrounding abortion, making sure women know that they don't have to feel guilty, that they don't have to feel anything is important. Its a medical procedure that every woman should have the right to access without shame.

A few years ago I had a miscarriage, except it was 'incomplete' and there was still a heartbeat. If our laws would have been what they were just a few years before that I would have died of sepsis(as it was I was really ill) just like Savita Halappanavar died, in the very same hospital that she died in. I thank my lucky stars that it was legal when I needed it to be. Especially with all the stories coming out of the US lately.

Abortion is healthcare. It isn't dramatic and you couldn't make a TV show about it but most women feel nothing but relief that they can move on with their lives and that's OK. Most men feel nothing when their wives or girlfriends have an abortion either and they are never shamed for it.

Yes. I was 20 and made the decision immediately and from fear. I think my life would have gone differently if I hadn't had a termination and I love the children I have so wouldn't change it even if I could but it's still a regret.

I regret mine. It was earlier this year. Would have been my 4th... due on my 40th.. regret it so much now as I feel like I rushed into it and feel really broody now and such a shit mum... only one friend who is abroad knows.. my husband think I miscarried the guilt kills me. Even writing this I am yearning for the child I killed... there is blood on my hands and I feel awful.

Don't fall down that trap of 'sounding bad'. You weren't well, and that abortion let you get the medical help you needed.

A friend had one in her teens. She subsequently lost two more babies later through miscarriages after she was married because she had an incompetent cervix, caused by damage to her cervix during the abortion procedure.
With medical help she had two pregnancies which came to term and had two lovely children. However she was wracked with grief over her three lost babies and didn’t find peace until she had a lot of prayer and deliverance ministry later in life.

No regret.
My life would have been shit if I'd had that baby (that I didn't want) and the kids life would have been shit as well.
Never felt any guilt either.

No, I had one under 1 and my mum had just died. I wasn't in a good place mentally and I could nor have cared for both babies well. Zero regrets, although sometimes a little sad at the thought. 100% the right decision for me and my family though.

I’m so sorry for your loss and your friend

I know someone who was tormented with what she had done. She went on to commit suicide.

Which method of abortion would you say isn't dramatic? 🤯

I had an abortion when I was around 24. I had only been with my partner for around a year, and everything about it just felt 'wrong'.

I didn't feel mature enough and I had absolutely no interest in babies. I was upset afterwards, but I mostly felt relief that it was over.

Went on to have kids a few years later, when it felt right.

Yes, I regret an abortion.

I think too many people believe the myth that there is some kind of counselling service that helps ensure women really do want a termination before they are given one but there isn’t. I feel like I was given the medication far too easily.

The one where you turn up in hospital, having taken some pills the day before, they put you under and you wake up feeling groggy but otherwise okay? Morning sickness gone, a bit sore but perfectly fine? Nice cuppa and on your way. I felt absolutely fine, was watching telly and laughing two hours later.

Or the one you can do at home with two sets of pills? Bit more of a mess, I was with my friend when she took this option, but we just watched Harry Potter and ate chocolate. Passed the pregnancy, flushed, had a nap.

No drama. Both of us were back to work the next day, after a very long sleep and a takeaway. (Both at different times, I might add. We didn't have an abortion party.)

I regret mine...but I don't think life would of been good for my child. Its a strange emotion without a name...grief, regret, relief, wonder, panic.

She / he was my 4th. It was over two years ago and it's only just becoming easier to manage my grief.

Cost of living has been very hard to battle, one of my children is autistic/ GDD (wasn't diagnosed at the time of the termination) and we've had to use any spare money to fund independent SALT / Occy health/ assessment / therapy this definitely wouldn't of been an option with another little one to feed / clothe and look after. Since the abortion I've been able to find full time flexible work which has increases our finances, and options. I do have "sliding door" moments and wonder what my life would of looked like if I hadn't of swallowed the pill.

I had hoped I'd of been able to make amends with myself and find myself able to financially afford another child...but life is becoming more and more expensive every year and I'm slowly coming to terms with what I have done is done and we made the right decision at the time. (Although it is not what my heart wanted it was the right decision for my family).

its good many people have positive stories. what is less talked about are those who are not. i had one in a moment of panic and it was the worst thing i have ever done i had a mental break down and was suicidal after. it was the worst decision of my life and i have a form of ptsd from it. i function now after a lot of therapy. but am not the person i was i do believe we should have access to termination but staff at clinics need to be better trained to identify people who perhaps need counselling before making the decision or who are experience prenatal anexity and more discussion how some woman struggle after. at present these voices are often silenced because are seen as being anti-abortion. i will always be prochoice but the current system could be improved to provide a safety net. At present it feels people like me are probably collateral damage to enable others to have freedom of access. the counsellor said 'we dont know who will be negatively affected'- which felt a bit washing their hands of the situation. so yes i regret it so much and its on my mind most days.

Never regretted at all, married 2 years, just not in a position to have a child. 10 years later had my first then 2 years after that my second. Definitely was the right decision for us as a couple and also we were more established in our careers to provide for our family. Abortion and contraception are the most important issues for women, freeing them for lives of no choice.

Yes I had one and regret it (was 20 at the time and not in a secure relationship). But later I realized I could have made it work, albeit with difficulty, and regret that it was possible to have an abortion so easily. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life, even though I have two wonderful teenagers now.

You're not the thread police and neither is OP. This is a conversation.

OP set out her position, that she would only have one if lives were at stake. If only women who regretted abortion came onto the thread, the takeaway would be SEE ABORTION IS TERRIBLE AND SHOULD BE PREVENTED. Instead of 'abortion is needed healthcare'.

Making sure women aren't coerced, and have access to counselling if you want it is great. But making out that in most cases women regret it is very irresponsible.

No

No, I had a tfmr due to a severe life-limiting genetic condition a few years ago and I read some accounts of parents who had dc with the condition. Most of them only lived a short time and with lots of medical intervention, there was one rare case where a person had lived until adulthood but had been severely disabled all their lives and the parent still had to carry them, feed them, change them but they couldn't speak. No regrets, I just feel relieved I don't have to deal with that and I was able to go on and have a lovely, healthy, perfectly normally developing baby who I can do normal family things with and who can play with her big sister.