Where is all this money coming from ?

[missybigmouth]

I'm anticipating a flaming and being told none of my business. This post is not about who earns the most. But might sound flavoured like it is.

Friend is single mum. She works FT and has a mortgage and bills but no credit what so ever. Me and DH earn a very good combined income. We also have mortgage and bills plus we have a lot of credit but make the pymts as needed, monthly credit pymts average around £200.

We eat out often (few times a month). But my friend eats out a lot. She is on her 5th dinner out in the last week. She regularly asks me to go with her. But I can't afford to eat out to that extent. Suddenly money is seemingly no object to her. I can't keep up. She's asking me for weekends away, spa days etc. I know for a fact she has no credit cards and she has not had an inheritance. Her parents are v old and are only on pensions. I'm pleased for her that she has money to spare. But I'm miffed as to where it is all coming from. And no I am not jealous.

Over the years we've gone out etc and we've had nights where we have both said we're a bit skint so let's have a night in together. I still say this but she now never says she can't afford anything.

My monthly household income is around £5k more than hers. Yes I have bigger bills and mortgage but not that much bigger.

She has not changed jobs. I'm just a bit miffed by it all

Maybe her child’s father has had a windfall or much better job and is paying higher CM? Maybe she’s won money or got a great promotion?

Maybe she has a fruitful side hustle she doesn’t want to share with you?

It does seem odd to be miffed by it though. Smacks of jealousy which is a shame if she’s supposed to be your friend.

I'm surprised you know so much about her finances in the first place tbh, especially whether she has credit cards or had an inheritance.
I wouldn't feel obliged to be honest if a friend started asking me my household income etc.

Maybe she is just good at budgeting

You're giving it far too much head space.

I've a relative who moved away years ago, and seemingly overnight lives like a millionaire (even has a house amongst big name footballers) neither her or husband had a massive job change or anything. We've just always thought they must've had an investment come good or a lottery win, but it's no one's business. They're still lovely people and no one has ever probed them about it.

I know if I'd come into a hell of a lot of money I'd keep it under wraps cos of the negative consequences it can cause.

I mean how do you know she has no credit? None of my friends know my credit card balance or any of our financial information for that matter.

If it’s recent I’d hazard a guess that she has either recently had a pay rise or has recently paid off her mortgage.

Maybe she won some money, is embezzling money, does only fans or any other number of reasons to boost her bank balance which has absolutely nothing to do with you.

If you have no debt it's easier to save for nice things.

Ask her. She's your friend. Just say so how come you always have so much money these days?

Also you typed all that out and can't write the word payments

People spend money on different things. Going out for meals or spa days is perhaps where she likes to spend hers but might get clothes from charity shops, get non branded food from supermarkets, got rid of sky/ netflix etc, maybe cut back on gifts for others. People just have different priorities for where they spend their money

Well if you're bringing in 5k a month more than her and you can't afford the things she does then the sensible thing to do would carry out an audit of your finances to find out where all that money is going.

Every penny spent by everyone in your household.

I bet if you did that for a couple of moths you'd be amazed how much you waste.

I'm just a bit miffed by it all

Have a word with yourself. Have a look at your outgoings, perhaps? Sounds like you're wasting loads.

You just have completely misuse the word miffed which is why everyone's a bit confused.
Miffed is a bit like mildly pissed off.

Payrise?
lottery win?
inheritance from an uncle?

Eh? Do you mean the people who are asking about whether she actually means 'miffed' (as in somewhat pissed off), or something else?

We only asked because we want to clarify what the OP actually means, and once it is clear, people can respond appropriately.

You'd be much better off asking yourself why this matters so much to you.

Maybe your husband is her Sugar Daddy.

Unless you have full control of her finances or have access to her and her husband’s full credit files, you don’t know ‘for a fact’ anything about her wealth, wages for how much credit she has.

Wtf? Being a single mum doesn’t mean you get special benefits. I don’t get CMS (50/50), Universal Credit or even Child Benefit as I earn too much to make it not cost more back in tax. I have a mortgage and my own house and eat out several times a month.

I would jokingly say to her "you won the lottery or something Susan?" And see what she says.

Nah, you get more money the hairier they are. I’m sure.

OP why are you interested ? Her finances are none of your business, in the same way as your finances are none of hers. No-one knows every single detail of the lives of our friends/family so there may be plenty you’re not privy to. And if you’re coming on a public forum to discuss it, it’s not hard to see why is it ?

You are totally jealous!! Admit it!!!

This. It’s akin to posters who start threads about their friends who are on benefits and they know for a fact they are not sick/disabled/ on the bones of their arses. Unless you live with someone 24 hours a day you can’t possibly know everything about them. And nor should you.