Where is all this money coming from ?

[missybigmouth]

I'm anticipating a flaming and being told none of my business. This post is not about who earns the most. But might sound flavoured like it is.

Friend is single mum. She works FT and has a mortgage and bills but no credit what so ever. Me and DH earn a very good combined income. We also have mortgage and bills plus we have a lot of credit but make the pymts as needed, monthly credit pymts average around £200.

We eat out often (few times a month). But my friend eats out a lot. She is on her 5th dinner out in the last week. She regularly asks me to go with her. But I can't afford to eat out to that extent. Suddenly money is seemingly no object to her. I can't keep up. She's asking me for weekends away, spa days etc. I know for a fact she has no credit cards and she has not had an inheritance. Her parents are v old and are only on pensions. I'm pleased for her that she has money to spare. But I'm miffed as to where it is all coming from. And no I am not jealous.

Over the years we've gone out etc and we've had nights where we have both said we're a bit skint so let's have a night in together. I still say this but she now never says she can't afford anything.

My monthly household income is around £5k more than hers. Yes I have bigger bills and mortgage but not that much bigger.

She has not changed jobs. I'm just a bit miffed by it all

Well, what interest rates are you paying on your debts?

Those two words don't mean the same thing at all.

I can't imagine ever being "miffed" because one of my friends is doing well. Its not very nice and quite nasty to be annoyed your friend appears to be living well.

Could be any number of reasons.

But nobody on mumsnet is going to know are they?

A very British, a very jealous sentiment from a person who enjoyed being more prosperous than her friend, now her friend is "considerably richer" than her and she's having a existential crisis. How utterly embarrassing. Who needs a friend psychologically entrenched in competition with a "Friend". Yuck 🤢 😝
Can't you be happy for her....?

OP asks pointless question to which precisely no one can provide an answer apart from the subject of the post.

Other people (myself included) pick at it because it really is a pointless question and there is nothing else to say.

This is Mumsnet surely.

Comparison is the stealer of joy, OP.

I worked with someone like this once. Her and her husband both worked with us so we had an idea of what their earning were. We all used to question how they could afford their lifestyle as she flaunted it. She was even asked if she had a money tree in her back garden and she laughed it off. Turns out they were frauding the company we worked at! I get why you're curious - just human nature!

How can you know for a fact she doesn't have a credit card? Do you have access to her bank accounts?

Not for you to know.

How are we supposed to know 🙄 Talk to your friend.

I think the real question is how are you earning £5000 more than someone PER MONTH and you're describing yourself as too skint for a night out and only able to eat out a few times a month. Where are you eating, the Ritz?

In your position I'd be using it as a wakeup call to review my spending (or my partner's) since you say your bills and mortgage aren't much more than hers. That means you have thousands of ££ in disposable income each month disappearing somewhere.

Yes, I was waiting for something like that too.

No. "Miffed" has connotations of being pissed off. It's not about being "grammatically correct". If you meant to say you're surprised at her apparent financial status, then you shouldn't have used the word "miffed"!

She will get universal credit, child benefit and single persons discount on her council tax

You said single so she could also get child maintenance

She might not save up but be a spender instead

@swiftieswoop

where does op say she earns 5k more a month?

PP saying where is your extra £5K going. This is actually a very good point!

In her op

She works full-time and has a mortgage. Benefits don't pay your mortgage and she probably wouldn't of been able to get a mortgage if her income was low.

Jesus Christ not every single mum is on benefits 🙄

It’s not grammar, it’s semantics. Completely different meaning.

Ask her if this is a new thing OP People dont tell you everything though.

I've read on here before people getting £1000 each month in CMS.

Do you think that you should shave your toes for this ? Asking for a friend 🤔

It's not about being grammatically correct (which can usually be worked out), but semantically correct.

You can't use a word which has a different meaning from the one you want and expect people to understand you.

You said you were 'miffed' twice in your OP; people think you're somewhat annoyed about this because they understand the word.

If you'd said you were a bit 'bemused', that would mean you were confused or puzzled.

(But then we might have people thinking you were finding it entertaining, as that one is erroneously assumed to mean 'amused'!)

Hi OP,

I’m a single parent (teacher) with no credit except my mortgage, I enjoy eating out/ treating myself when I can so will share some of the ways I finance it-

• run an old car so no car finance.
• 95% of all my clothes and my DC clothes come from Vinted
• all old clothes/games sold on Vinted
• meal plan/prep and no crisps/snacks/juice/alcohol in weekly shops (except Christmas)
• I pick up extra work tutoring/exam marking
• rent out my garage
• no nail/self care apts with the exception of 3 hair cuts a year
• generally life most would see as simple and low consumption

There are so many things your friend could be doing to maintain her income. Why don’t you ask or even just be pleased she’s happy/treating herself as being a solo parent is an utter slog at time. I applaud anybody who is parenting solo and crushing it.