Living with misophonia. Anyone who has misophonia want to chat? My son is a gobbler and I want to do terrible things!!!

[IncompleteSenten]

My son is in the room with me and he's eating.

Gobble gobble chomp chomp grunt ahhhh grunt chomp gobble gobble sigh.

How loaded is your fucking fork if you're grunting like you're deadlifting a horse?

I feel a murderous rage and at the same time i want to cry.

I hate eating with people and avoid it as much as possible because not only do I fantasise about plucking people's eyes out with my fork and beating them to death with it but I'm so paranoid about my own eating noises that I can't force food down and need to take tiny bites and drink water to force each bite down.

My sister is blind and came to stay. We had to eat together so i sat at the other side of the room and I had to have her play an audio book while I had a towel that I shoved in front of my mouth while I chewed in an attempt to muffle any noise I might make.

I know it's a condition people joke about and don't take seriously but it's utterly miserable to have to cope with this.

I want to yell at my son which is unreasonable and unfair so I won't but the pent up rage feels like a physical pain in my chest.

I'd love to talk with fellow sufferers about this godawful thing.

Misery loves company, I suppose.

Edit - my late dad had it too. I remember him yelling at me that my dinner was already dead so I didn't need to growl at it. That is when I started to become paranoid about making any noise when eating.

Right now I can hear the screeching and exploding of some idiot boy racer. I won’t describe what I hope happens to him. The police do NOTHING about it. HOW do these little ba*tards get away with it? Today, in town, someone drove down the high street in a car that sounded like fireworks exploding. God it makes me SO angry.

Eating is the worst one for me, DS chewing cereal beside me.

My family in general are very noisy 4 teens and DH they scream at each other especially DD3, high pitched screaming which makes me want to cry or run away, they know I have misophonia but they won’t stop.

I did the first half of the research test last night, it was hard going, some of those noises were so triggering for me. I'll do the other half tonight.

I did the first half of the full 90 minute research study.

It's not just noise for me, my wife has severe allergies, to food and smells, she has to carry a auto adrenaline injector, with another as back up. She is unsurprisingly extremely anxious around food, which manifests itself in different ways, I can literally feel and hear her anxiety, even if I'm not seeing her prepare cook and eat. I can hear it in the way she picks at her food with a knife and fork, even how she stirs her porridge, which nearly always ends up burnt, all her food is cremated because she's obsessed with bacteria.

I bought a food thermometer but she wont use it, hence everything is cooked for twice the usual cooking time, with regard to gas marks she always goes at least 2 gas marks higher, no simmering, always rapid boiling, veg turns to pulp, chicken to rock and so on. She has an eating disorder, very similar to anorexia, which I experienced first hand with one of my daughter's, who at aged 15 was sectioned to keep her alive. So, for my wife, all food is dissected (by her), the food wastage is off the scale, she will only eat frozen peas, nothing else from the freezer. A long time ago my wife nearly choked to death whilst eating ice cream, a hefty slap on the back, from me worked, I think she has an out of control gag reflex, linked to her constant all consuming anxiety.

I'm used to it all, this has been going on since 2001, when she was resuscitated three times in the ambulance, on the way to hospital, after suffering her first anaphylactic shock episode, I get where she's at.

Just a long winded way to say that any noise associated my wife's cooking, even prepping her meal, the constant boiling of the kettle, the clatterings, the vibes, her constant coughing and spluttering when eating, it rubs off on me. It was a friend who told me I had misophonia, he knew because he is a sufferer from it as well. Apart from hearing anyone whistling I don't tend to get in a rage, he does though.

Wasn't my intention to derail the thread, I think there is some relevance for me to post this message here.

i feel you. I hate it - have tried earplugs but i think i may try the Loop earplugs as I've heard good things about them.

My DH has recently got false teeth and he does this weird nibble/sucky thing with them that drives me bonkers. Makes me want to cut my ears off

I don't really suffer from it except when 'D'H decides to drink from his sports water bottle while sitting looking at his iPad.

It makes me want to fetch the hatchet he uses to chop up firewood and plunge it deep into his skull.

Just drink from a glass like a civilised human being FFS!

It’s loud breathing for me. It dominates my senses and I get very frustrated and even angry. Really wish it wasn’t an issue! Wish my brain didn’t work this way!

do you understand - especially on a forum - of "hyperbole for comedic effect"

(thanks to this thread i have ordered Loop earplugs. I went for the Engage 2 plus. we will see.

Trust me. If you have it, you KNOW.

What baffles me is the sheer number of adults who eat like pigs. I know of 4 women and 1 man who do this and one of them is used to the finer things in life, so dines out frequently in nice restaurants so you’d think she’d know the etiquette.

All of them eat with their mouths open, talking with their mouth full, slurping, chomping and making so much noise. It’s like they haven’t been taught manners. It’s one thing a kid doing it but mind hey swiftly told but an adult doing it gives me the rage.

The man that does it literally makes more slurping, chomping, clopping, licking, wet noises than I can make if I intentionally try. Vile

Loop ear plugs, music on in the background and lots of conversation at the dinner table! If you are listening to people talk or something else, your brain tunes out the background noise.

Are you okay eating with friends in a restaurant? I find it is a thousand times worse if you expect someone to be a noisy eater (eg your DS) so I am listening out for it from the start but an equally noisy person in a different situation would be fine as I might not notice it if I am listening to a conversation or something else… until I do notice 😡

My poor DM has false teeth and the entire family finds it unbearable eating with her (note this is about us, she has impeccable table manners but inevitably her teeth will click). We just have to play music loudly.

Interesting. I actually have a memory of a boy at school deliberately making lip smacking noises in my ear in class one day, which was just irritating but it got to the point that it was unbearable, I couldn’t take it any more and the rage just suddenly burst out. I don’t think I had ever felt like that before, I was a very calm and chilled out child.

I can relate. It’s so upsetting I have to stop myself angry-crying at noodle slurping, people chewing gum, anyone eating juicy fruit or ice lollies. I can’t handle farts that smell disgusting - this one has made me seem like a kill-joy at times. Everyone’s laughing and I’m angry and upset. Over a fart.

(Mixing up my sensory issues here, but I get it)

@tiger2691 - that sounds like a tough life, I'm sorry. Would she consider therapy?

Have you had your son's adenoids and tonsils checked out? They might be too big which is causing the noisy eating.

As I already said my mate who has it told me, I did though mention it when I had a recent ENT appointment due to yes, hearing loss (I'll come back to that), think I saw the consultants lieutenant , I asked about Misophonia and he said he'd never heard of it.

Anyway, I'm almost profoundly deaf in my left ear but only at certain frequencies, mainly the ones that are the conversation ones, hence I really struggle. My right ear I have some severe hearing loss but at least I can hear people talk, as long as there is an almost silent background. Any background noise and sounds, hubbub like being in a pub or restaurant etc, I cant hold a conversation very well, or really hear what a person is saying.

I also suffer from a sleep clinic diagnosed condition called Hyperarousal insomnia, a mild form of PTSD, a fight or fight thing, the tiniest noise can wake me so I use silicone earplugs.

The fact that i have such hearing loss to me only seems to heighten my Misophonia, because background noises, even little ones like someone stirring a cup of tea coffee drives me mad. My wife is also quite deaf, but wont book a hearing test, she watches a shit ton of tv everyday and the volume levels are mutant. As for the washing machine in the flat upstairs, sometimes as late as midnight and early as 5am, well.... i best not express my thoughts and feelings around that.

I'm hoping that when I eventually get my NHS hearing aids ( almost 18 months wait for, first, the ENT appointment and then Audiology, have an appointment next Monday, for the latter) I wont be so frustrated with all the noise and sounds that wreck my ability to hear people in conversation, phones calls are the absolute worst of it all.

My wife doesn't really do therapy, she is not great at opening up, although she is much improved, over the 30 years we've been together. Tbf she has to put up with my chronic depression, hence we just try and look after each other the best we can. I'm 16 years younger than my wife, that has at times been a problem, to both of us, but we're mates and loyal to each other. Which is just as well because my 5 children are grown and fled, as have my wife's two children.

DH has the most annoying loose cough.
He obviously needs to cough harder than he does to shift the phlegm (ugh) but only manages this pathetic noise that just sounds wet and disgusting.
He's lovely in other ways and I don't want to tell him he makes me feel sick, so I've tried just suggesting he has a good cough but then he looks pathetic and tells me how his "saliva has gone down the wrong way". Which is even more disgusting!
I know what's causing it - I'm in possession of a throat myself and know how they work!
I don't want to think about the revolting wet things happening in his throat, I just want him to stop!

My daughter is the same. She's just been crying because of someone breathing at college. I really don't know what to do.

I know it's a semi Zombie thread but you all understand!

I've been triggered more than usual over the last few weeks. I've been in unusually stressful situations, does anyone else notice it getting worse then or perhaps it's random other factors I've not baked in?

I also looked this thread up again specifically because my Mum, who makes so many of my trigger sounds, said to me this weekend that she dislikes it when I smoke so it's horses for courses. Is it comparable in your eyes? In mine it feels different but I do see each of us are distressed by the other's action and therefore it's a choice to avoid triggering scenerios or to not act in "that" particular way based on your company. She tries to remember not to jangle her keys as one example but thinks I'm just being OTT and often can't be arsed. I would feel a bit mean if I said I won't go out with her unless she won't. I got out of the car once when she wouldn't accept I'd issued "third strike and I'm out" on her not fastening her seatbelt resulting in constant beeping and she got upset that i was being cruel.

Interested in views really. I tried to do the questionnaire upthread but isn't mobile compatible so I gave up.

Do the headphones cut out ALL noise or just make it like you're a bit deaf? Would it be a barrier to conversation or cut out some superfluous noise, for example?

It's awful isn't it? Fight or flight mode is exactly it. I didn't realise how bad it could be until I started having angry thoughts about my own children from their eating. Trying to teach them to chew with their mouth closed etc without making too much of a big deal of it but they seem to realise it's a power play and it brings on such rage. Something made me think the maternal instinct would make them immune from my brain being ott. Nope.

Then recently they asked why we always have to have the music on at meal times and I explained in the most awful way. I just couldn't stop even though I could feel the hole around me growing bigger. I said I had problem ears and if people were chewing loudly or with their mouth open it makes me feel really angry and want to do anything to make the noise stop, even hurt the person. Tried desperately to backpedal and explain that I'm stronger than my thoughts and would never act on them, explained how I take a deep breath to calm myself down and take steps like turning the radio on so I have a distraction and something else to mask the noise. But I few days later my youngest was chewing mouth open and the older one urgently whispers 'close your mouth, you don't want mummy to hurt you!!' 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Just casually over here causing future trauma one day at a time.

It’s very antisocial to smoke around your mother. Smoking is an awful lot worse than jangling your keys. She has a point, why should she consider your feelings if you don’t consider her feelings or health.

However, I also understand your point that the strength of your feelings about her jangling keys are probably much stronger than her justified hatred of smoking.

It’s not directly comparable for most people because disliking something (eg smoking) doesn’t usually elicit such a strong emotional response. It’s more like a smell that makes you gag or ice water on sensitive teeth. Most people get the fingernails on a blackboard analogy (although that sound doesn’t bother me ironically 😂), Or you could explain it’s more like a phobia, except the emotion you feel isn’t fear. And respect her in future by not smoking around her.

I have it.

i cannot tolerate any noise, eating noisily, slurping, sniffing, throat clearing etc i have always been like this.

someone could be telling me something so serious but if they are eating noisily etc that is all I will hear.

i love my mum but when she calls me she sounds like she has a very dry mouth and I have to say 'please have a drink ffs' it's awful

what can you do about it?

Hi just to be clear it is only that she SEES me smoking. So I go outside etc and stand away even if outside.

But, I appreciate your feedback. It makes it easier for me to mentally put it on a par.

I also said to her that it's a choice for both of us. I can exit the situation(s) where I am bothered by her actions and she can also exit those where she's bothered by mine.

[Also fair point that smoking does me harm]

It starts to go into psychological also when I tell her that if she won't stop then I'll take myself away, then when I follow up on that, I'm cruel. But actually that's better, I feel, than becoming really angry. My heart rate is actually elevating just describing my feelings!