Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Why is expressing envy/dissatisfaction at someone doing better than you taboo?

101 replies

YourCoolLimeGuide · 01/11/2024 10:39

I mean we all have someone we don't like achieving the things we want and we don't feel happy for them. E.g. I just brought a house with the help of my grandparents' inheritance and I told my friends and some of them didn't look too happy about it cos they all want houses too?

But if I go and tell people I'm not happy that colleague x got promoted they tell me not to be so nasty, when other people have done it to me?

OP posts:
GiddyRobin · 01/11/2024 14:32

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/11/2024 10:47

I mean we all have someone we don't like achieving the things we want and we don't feel happy for them

Speak for yourself. “We” don’t.

Agreed.

OP, this thread is really quite distasteful.

I can, hand on heart, tell you that envy and jealousy are not a part of my life. Even people I don't like, I don't envy or feel jealous of if they achieve well. They've done something to deserve that in most cases; worked hard, been better suited to it, or it's simple luck that means they've managed to gain something good.

Just as I've worked hard to reach my position in life, they have to. Just as I was lucky to end up with a DH like I have, they have been. I have healthy, happy, clever kids. People have been jealous of me, but what they don't see is the work I've put in along the way to secure my career, the miscarriages I've had, the months of MH issues when I saw my DH nearly die and the physical issues following his injury. They just see a picture perfect life - and for the most part these days, it is, but it came with pain and sadness too.

I extend the same understanding to other people's lives. I find it an immature emotion; a useless one. A moment of fleeting envy is one thing I suppose, but feeling it to the point of being consumed enough to think about it in detail, and mention it to others? That shows a lack of emotional maturity.

I teach my children that it's not a nice trait to have. That while that other family are going to Portugal mid school year, they have family there. Just as we have family in Norway and they get to spend a whole Christmas and half of the summer there. Why are they wasting precious time being jealous and worrying about other people and their lives? It reminds them how good their own life is and to put focus on that.

Surely you can do that for yourself? You're an adult.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread