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Original poster

Why do people not like you?

124 replies

HPpp · 28/10/2024 22:33

Just a bit of a curiosity really

Im convinced BIL doesn’t like me, DH is kind of thinking this too. We’re unsure why though

and it just made me wonder what are the reasons people actually dislike someone?

I have a smal friend circle, small family so I don’t really dislike anyone? But a reason to would be if someone hurt someone I love

(I haven’t done this to BIL btw lol)

OP posts:
Fadedchintz · 29/10/2024 07:01

NeverDropYourMooncup · 28/10/2024 23:01

I'm a smartarse and a bit of a dickhead. I'm also prone to going off on tangents and wibbling about completely inconsequential shite that has become incredibly interesting to me, waving my arms around and getting altogether far too animated about something that nobody else particularly cares about. I'm also either incredibly lazy or irritatingly fidgety and annoyingly, relentlessly chirpy, tempered by fluent sarcasm without a need to be cruel to anybody and am frequently fighting the desire to run the fuck away and have nothing to do with people whatsoever.

However, I can rescue people from spiders, moths, wasps, beetles, birds and any other creature that mistakenly wanders into their sight, give them a quick rundown of what the scary creature is and what evolutionary niche they fill to try and encourage people not to hurt them - and I'm really good at teaching random stuff and skills in a way that doesn't make people feel inadequate for not knowing something already by magic. So I have my uses. Oh, and DP and animals think I'm great.

I stick to being a smartarse and dickhead online, mostly. The other stuff takes up too much energy to sustain on the internet on top of in person.

This has made my day. You sound a bit like me.

CountFucula · 29/10/2024 07:04

GoldenLegend · 29/10/2024 05:36

I find that with a lot of blokes, if they don’t fancy you and have no reason to need you for anything, then for them you more or less don’t exist.

i think this too. Some men can’t see the point of women they can’t/don’t want to fuck.

it’s a ‘him’ problem OP - you sound great and he can bloody do one.

EveryDayisFriday · 29/10/2024 07:04

I'm not a people pleaser and not concerned with what others think of me. I don't really make an effort and hate small talk so rarely get to know acquaintances on a deeper level so have no idea what they think.

Tumbleweed101 · 29/10/2024 07:05

I think many times it's mismatched chemistry and mannerisms. Everyone judges others within seconds of meeting and these can be deciding factors among others. How someone talks and dresses can make them either 'same' or 'different 'to that inner judge too.

On the whole most people are nice once you get past your or their inner judge.

Brandnewskytohangyourstarsupon · 29/10/2024 07:06

Not sure anyone dislikes me, I’m a fucking delight but I do know what traits in others I can’t stand and makes me dislike them.

RustyandDusty · 29/10/2024 07:08

Jealously.

twentysevendresses · 29/10/2024 07:09

People don't like me because I'm not particularly sociable (bit of an introvert) but I'm also outspoken (so don't take any shit). This combination (outspoken introvert 🤦‍♀️) makes me appear to be a grumpy old sod. I'm not though 🤷‍♀️ My real friends find this description of me hard to fathom...it's weird isn't it?

ThomasPatrickKeatingsDegas · 29/10/2024 07:11

Had a friend tell me it was irritating I’m so nice, okay then! 🤷🏻‍♀️

She isn’t though, one of those ‘I call it as I see it’ types so is constantly falling out with people.

cantthinkofausernametoadd · 29/10/2024 07:13

I come from a culture where girls and women are meant to be introverted and submissive, with long, glossy hair and feminine traits. I buck that trend so people don't like me for that. I also have resting bitch face so people assume I'm a cow. Im also not afraid to tell the truth. All of the above have been cited as a reason for the breakdown in my marriage recently 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sethera · 29/10/2024 07:13

People don't so much dislike me as not really notice me, because I'm boring and unattractive.

RustyandDusty · 29/10/2024 07:20

A colleague doesn't like me because I found a husband whilst being a single parent. Seriously. He's also got a good job which apparently is something to be jealous of.

Thesilkinsideachesnutshell · 29/10/2024 07:25

I can be a bit clipped and dismissive. I don't realise I'm doing it, I usually think I'm being quite polite but it doesn't always come across.

I'm not a people pleaser as one of my friends recently told me. I'm fine with that!

My husband is lovely, warm and people light up around him. We balance each other I think (or rather, he softens my edges!)

Paperdolly · 29/10/2024 07:35

Tittibits · 28/10/2024 23:08

I have ADHD and irritate the fuck out of people.

I like you and I don’t even know you 🤣❤️

AnareticDegree · 29/10/2024 07:38

@NeverDropYourMooncup These are reasons to like you actually.

I really, really want to know the evolutionary niche filled by wasps?

DiscoinFrisco · 29/10/2024 07:45

Everyone is disliked by someone. Either ask him or don't worry.

DiscoinFrisco · 29/10/2024 07:46

My money is on him fancying you though. Even if he loves his wife this is probably it.

BobLemon · 29/10/2024 07:49

I’m not very feminine. I’ve always found there’s a type of man who seems to be uncomfortable around me. Like they don’t know how to interact with a woman who isn’t girly. If I was pretty and flirty, I think we’d get on fine (platonically). They’re (the awkward men) perfectly nice people, but I just get a standoffish vibe from them.

Cuppachuchu · 29/10/2024 08:02

I'm confident and take no nonsense. But also friendly and kind. I don't know if anyone doesn't like me, but I don't care. 🤷

wotnofriends · 29/10/2024 08:02

Sethera · 29/10/2024 07:13

People don't so much dislike me as not really notice me, because I'm boring and unattractive.

If people can’t find anything interesting about you then they’re the boring ones!

Laura268 · 29/10/2024 08:03

tuvamoodyson · 29/10/2024 06:53

…or maybe, he can’t quite put his finger on it, but there just something he doesn’t like about you.

Show quote history

Could be. Wonder if he's always been like that, or it's developed over time.

Mairzydotes · 29/10/2024 08:15

The people who dislike me usually like to have brown nosers following them around, and I'm not like that .

OP, the fact your bil dislikes you, sounds like a him problem.

Fadedchintz · 29/10/2024 08:19

I moved to a new part of the country 15 years ago and spent a while thinking noone liked me - turned out that it wasn't me, it was that dh and I have no social capital worth speaking of and a lot of people here are social climbers and snobs. Took me ages to accept that because I couldn't believe people were that shallow and assumed it really must be me. But it's 100% true. Luckily I met some nice people as well!

weareallcats · 29/10/2024 08:22

I’m loud and dramatic - am also fun and funny, warm, always friendly. I am definitely too much for some people and that’s ok. Sometimes people just don’t click - my sil and I really don’t get on and we just tolerate each other when we have to. If I don’t like someone it is usually because they are unkind and/or uptight.

Dobest · 29/10/2024 08:39

Because I'm evil: lower than a snake's belly.

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 29/10/2024 08:43

I have social anxiety and really struggle to talk to people I don't know very well. I do try but it's a lot of mental effort and probably comes across like I don't really want to talk to them (I do it's just hard at first). People tend to think I'm rude but I'm not trying to be.