Anyone else can't manage full time?

[SageBlossomBunny]

Im job hunting and feel so frustrated. Keep seeing jobs, bit lower than what I'm on, but for ft work.

I've emailed or had informal meetings each time to see if they'd consider 0.8 and each time it's a no.

I just can't do full time. I'm permanently exhausted and need a day to recover without my kids 😭

like what?

Wanting my daughters to have a balanced life? Obviously if they want to focus on one extreme or the other (ie SAHM v full on career) then that's fine but you only have to look at a handful of posts on here to see the reality is different and most people yearn for a balance. I don't think there's anything wrong with identifying that early in life.

I've got two teens and work freelance in a professional role which is luckily very well paid. I work 3/4 school days, term time only and have a cleaner two mornings a week. DH works long hours. There's no way I could manage full time and feel that we had a good quality of life. I need time to swim, do yoga, read and hang out with my Labradors.

It's not so much physical tiredness as feeling peopled out, dropping the ball at home and feeling like I have no time for myself.

I'm another one who is encouraging DD's to look into professions that are well paid and offer possibilities for flexible working. I've seen too many women either chuck it all in as part time isn't possible, or have to struggle to raise a family while working full time on low wages. One is looking into being an actuary, the other at fintech.

Not really, both of us have worked full time since my eldest was 6 months old... so 18 years of working full time while bringing up children.
I do not have the funds for a nanny/cleaner/gardener so do these things myself. I am tired but I am certainly not miserable!!
My kids are in their teens now and certainly don't seem to be traumatised by having working parents, especially when they understand that our hard work pays for a nice roof over our heads and relatively expensive hobbies.
I could have stayed at home or worked very part time but then I would be in the situation my friend is in, no holidays ever, no days out ever, no meals out ever, clothing being the cheapest possible, no hobbies. Both her and her children live very small lives.
I think I am not miserable because I know working full time has provided us with a much better lifestyle than we would have had if I worked less hours.

What’s making you so exhausted? Is it a physical health thing?
are bed times/nights ok and do you get enough sleep?

Well what about one single parent of 3 working full time? What a narrow middle class view.
I don’t have any of those things apart from a cleaner. But I do think it depends heavily on your job and employer and how much flexibility there is

I work full time as a lone parent - now that I’ve been at my workplace several years I could probably ask for reduced hours but I really don’t want to spend more time parenting / cleaning and also being poor. I’d love a wife tbh and to live the life of a male senior leader (I.e never at home)

I’d also recommend trying to manage FT for at least a probation period and then making a flexible work request.

@User364837 well I can tell you as a disabled working class person who has been a single parent with no support network working full time. It's extremely hard.

I agree job/flexability can also factor in.

Gosh so many of us! Im glad I'm not alone at least.

We have no support network at all, no family and husband is fairly average income so no spare money either. Those earning high incomes I can see can outsource!

I feel so trapped at the moment. I had no idea I'd have to give up career 1 (no flexibility) My daughters really don't get why I think flexible working might be useful and are looking at careers but we have no contacts for properly high earning careers.

I'm bright, just so much less employable than I was 20 years ago 😢. Happy to work up again. Just not full time... Sigh

I can stay where I am for now but it's not ideal and not brilliant pay.

I'm really struggling with FT at the moment even though I wfh. Which makes me feel like a wuss, but I'm also carer for elderly DM with Alzheimer's who lives with us, and have various health issues including chronic fatigue from a sleep disorder, so I guess I'm not doing too badly. hollow laugh

DH helps and DM has a few carer visits a week, which also helps. But I know I'm not giving as much as I could to any area of my life, work included, which is depressing and leads to a lot of guilt. It's just very hard keeping all the plates spinning. I've considered asking to go PT but I don't think they'd go for it, and the job ticks all the other boxes, so it is what it is really.

I work ft over 3.5 days a week. Full time pay, but a 3.5 day weekend.

Working full time is much more actual work than it used to be in many roles because of successive waves of cuts. Computers did make some work quicker or redundant, but not all of it. Where I work now, we don't have a receptionist and that is pretty standard. Sure it's no trouble to go and meet your own meeting and bring them in to a meeting room, but there's a whole person missing there who used to be busy, perhaps with an office manager style role or supporting the office manager or supporting others. That's just an example.
Now, you have to be very senior to have someone who will put meetings in for you. It would clear so much admin and headspace if you could just say to someone "I need Janet and John and Harry for an hour to meet with me in the next week", which sounds a lot easier / less time consuming than it is.

When I was a temp in the 90s I was usually a receptionist or a PA and I did loads of things that just took things off people's desks and kept the place running smoothly. They're all things that people have to do for themselves now. Sometimes I had a two week booking to cover someone's holiday which would never happen now. That would get covered by people all doing their own jobs already.

I struggle to work part time and I can't, phyiscally cannot do it, with a commute every day. I wouldn't mind it if it was like that though. 9 - 5 with an hour for lunch to get your home admin done or go for a walk. That's disappeared

Ooh, I would love to do that! Although for me in reality it would probably mean increasing the outside care for DM on work days. I can imagine it being really helpful for work/life balance though.

This is my experience.

Work used to be much more pleasant. Roles were more defined. There was far less need to work beyond your contracted hours. There were far more support staff!

Op, admin jobs are few and far between so if you do find one then expect it to be low paid and supporting the masses. It is not necessarily the low stress option people think it is.

Think when applying for a job you go for full time for a little while- pass probation and then request reduction in hours / flexible working and be hopeful.

I've very rarely worked 5 days a week. When worked in a bank did compressed hours so did longer days for a day off.

Different sector now but work 4 days a week but 0.8, did ft for a term and it made me badly! That one day off to do life admin, tidying etc is invaluable.

@ruethewhirl it is, it's made a huge difference. There's some flexibility with it as well so I might need to work later on the half day for meetings, but I can finish earlier on one of the longer days as a swap. Works really well.

I feel like I get a proper weekend rather than recover for a day and then immediately prep for the return, and we can go away for the weekend with some "buffer" time either side.

Thing is like you say it's invaluable. So it's a risk to try full time if after a few months they say no to 0.8 as I'd have to leave and I don't want to job hop. It's hard enough trying to hop now!

The role i was going for was wfh rather than true basic admin. But with minimum wage going up the lower grades are all compacted.

I've dropped down from 44 to 35 already and have been looking at 28-35 grades recently.

True admin is around 23 but increasingly jobs under 30k are wanting experience. One learning and development role I saw recently was for a charity and only 25k full time. Sendiass (special needs advice and guidance so specialist training) is often around 25-27 too.

Ideally I'd like to break out into a higher paying role eventually.

@ObliviousCoalmine can I ask what your working hours are if you fit full time into 3.5 days? You must do long days which for a lot of people would be much less preferable to spreading them out and finishing at 5pm (for example)

Yep I do 8-6, 8-6, 8-8 and 8-1.30. The majority of the time I end up doing 8-3/4 on the last day and finishing early on the 8-8 day though.