Anyone else can't manage full time?

[SageBlossomBunny]

Im job hunting and feel so frustrated. Keep seeing jobs, bit lower than what I'm on, but for ft work.

I've emailed or had informal meetings each time to see if they'd consider 0.8 and each time it's a no.

I just can't do full time. I'm permanently exhausted and need a day to recover without my kids 😭

I had the same issue, DH used to live away during the week when DC were small and I tried to work full time but kept burning out. I was always physically ill as well where I was just constantly worn out. I'm sure many do, but personally I've not met many women at all who work FT when they have children, especially if they're on their own for chunks of time.

I found a FT job and after probation was able to apply for PT, not ideal as it was a graft getting through the FT period, but couldn't seem to find another way.

Having been the employer in this situation I wouldn't employ on 0.8 especially if taking a gamble on someone new to the area of work.

It's not personal but usually most companies/teams are structured with roughly the right amount of work per role. So if you do 0.8 as a good employer I would scale down you work to 80% but that leaves me 20% to allocate or find somewhere else. I can't hire someone for 0.2 of a role so I'm stuck and it's genuinely a business issue so a reason to refuse a flexible work request.

Can you not consider 0.5 and offer job share? That way they have chance to hire someone else for the other half of the job?

Yep, currently looking for something part time and WFH because I can't drive anymore and public transport isn't good enough here. Fully remote part time jobs are not particularly common 😖🤣

Only about 40% of mothers in the UK work full time OP. 25% of mothers are not working and the rest work part time.

So it would surely benefit employers to make more part time options available.

Same here. Always say to people I wouldn't be in teaching any more if I had stayed full time!

You can't really be hired into part time at my work. In theory you could, but it doesn't happen.

The only people on PT are the people who formerly worked FT for a number of years, who scaled back after mat leave etc.

Have you looked at the civil service? Contracts tend to be much more flexible.

I always tend to think 4 days is the worst position though, employer still sees you as full time, you get the same amount of work, but less pay. I've never found full time hard, pre or post kids, but working flexibly and owning my diary really helps I think, so I can moderate my days to my energy levels!

Probably not helpful but have you considered local council, civil service (both of which may offer more flexibility) or freelancing? Not sure of your background but if you're looking for an admin role maybe setting up as a virtual assistant could work?

I can't. Lone parent with teens, one with MH issues. I've also ended up with bowel problems due to the stress of it all.

Yes I think working flexibly around energy levels would suit me to the tee! But that's unlikely at roles coming in from. Outside isn't it. It's sustained mental effore I can't sustain fulltime.

Its frustrating hearing people here too saying they'd only recruit ft. That's most mothers (above statistics) and anyone with certain health conditions ruled out isn't it. Maybe that's the intention.

@zerored it was a council job I was looking at! I'm not an admin person as such but use skills in my more people facing work and was looking more to dial down a bit and wfh a bit.

I'm thinking it's impossible 😔

Yep, kids with issues here. They don't need babysitting but I don't want to do long days or full time as I'm exhausted.

Will look at civil service.

Ive already dropped my salary hugely leaving the profession I was doing and my interim role isn't sustainable. (variable hour)

Yes I think working flexibly around energy levels would suit me to the tee! But that's unlikely at roles coming in from. Outside isn't it. It's sustained mental effore I can't sustain fulltime.

Have you looked at the civil service? Generally much more flexible, none of this "I will only hire FT" nonsense as you say, it would be a discriminatory attitude to have, I'm not saying you'd easily get PT from day 1, but it's usually flexible from day 1 and lots of people amend their hours. They even do term time contacts. But really depends on the role and organisation you join.

Sorry just seen you're going to look, good luck!

So far civil service near me has been prison type jobs or specialists like IT or project management or very basic admin.

And very little in between😬.
I saw some great schemes over last couple of months that involved training but they were linked to northern locations.

I've been looking for a few months as so many people recommend civil service and I'm really struggling.

Id love to have gone for this role and asked for part time when there but I couldn't have sustained fulltime so can't take the risk.

Two Parents working full time is going to mean a lot of exhaustion. The working week was set up for one person to work it and the other keep house and children.
When mine were small I worked part time and gradually increased hours when they started school. Then I had a third child and moved to a new area plus pandemic so gave up work. Dh now works long hours. I have all three in school and looking for very part time work because my dh has zero time to pitch in. He is either working or working on our reno project house or spending time with us. So I do all house and kid stuff. Working full time on top would push me over the edge. Part time may even be too much.
There isn’t anything wrong with you, kids and full time work is really hard if there is no money for out sourcing.

Yes it is very location dependent, we had a magic few years post covid where location mattered very little with home working but with the office mandate that Labour have now endorsed it is more limiting again. I have a flexible working request that allows me WFH but I'm a bit stuck now if I want to progress.

It is often worth seeing what you can compromise on to get in, because once you're in you can see more opportunities advertised, might find more flexible managers etc.

And I don't know if retaining is on the cards but tech could be a good way of having the golden ticket in the CS.

It is really difficult at the moment @SageBlossomBunny. The job market is pretty stagnant and it is an employers market. We have had 200+ applications for a single junior role over the past 6 months, so employers can choose to be fussy.

When I am job hunting I usually introduce the PT request, after interview and after being offered the job. By that time they have reviewed all the potential candidates and if you are the stand out one based on your CV and interview, they are more likely to agree. Even more so, if you offer a bit more in person time for the first few months while you settle in. Also think about what flexible working would look like for you, beyond FT. Could you manage your energy levels a different way? Maybe not, but worth considering too.

I feel for you. As a peri menopausal woman, FT in my world is FT +++++++ and I am really struggling.

Retraining would be fine if it wasn't full time. I initially a few years back wanted to be an Educational Psychologist but the 3 years full time and there isn't a uni near me made that impossible.

Technically I could probably easily get onto a social work or mental health course but again full time and I actually want to move away from so much people contact and would love to wfh mostly.

I'm a bit lost.

And yay to pp who can just not work. I currently would love that! Or an old fashioned " little job" but we need the income and I'm stuck.

I have been mentioning it before interview as I'd read somehwee (here?) that employers hate going to all the cost and expense of interviewing you if you turn around and didn't want the job advertised anyway!

i stopped working full time when i had my kids some 20 odd years ago.. i've never worked more than 30 hours a week since.. i told my then husband i would not be returning to full time work ever.. and i haven't. i guess i am lucky that i do a job where my wage for 30 hours is probably more than some peoples average full time wage and i am thankful for that.

i take my hat off to any parent who can workfull time, bring up kids, have a social life, keep fit and just generally be amazing... i am not that person.

What do you do?

Id like 30 hours. It's so hard trying to leap into it though

I feel like I'm stuck now in my 40s because I didn't career change pre kids.

I work 0.8 and my youngest is 9. What type of jobs are you looking for? In my line of work it's skill based so if you fit the role part time is negotiatiable.

I’m the same OP. I burn out working full time, so will do part time for as long as I possibly can in my life

@SageBlossomBunny I am in the same career from pre kids. I hit the PT ceiling where progression working PT was not an option. I work in the public sector and I know fewer employers are happy to recruit PT despite staff shortages, I guess PT is less viable economically. I think the only option is to start FT and then see if you can negotiate hours after a while of working. I am hoping to do that but fully expect to be FT for a year.