Anyone else can't manage full time?

[SageBlossomBunny]

Im job hunting and feel so frustrated. Keep seeing jobs, bit lower than what I'm on, but for ft work.

I've emailed or had informal meetings each time to see if they'd consider 0.8 and each time it's a no.

I just can't do full time. I'm permanently exhausted and need a day to recover without my kids 😭

This is really interesting. I commented to DP last week that I don't think I know anyone my age (50) with school aged kids that works full time. I'm permanently exhausted and can't seem to get my head into a positive place.

I also travel overseas fairly frequently and I'm already having sleepless nights about a ten day trip I have to do next May, I'm desperate to get another job before then but anything I'm looking at locally will mean about a 10k pay cut.
Running on empty and not sure how much longer I can keep it up.

I am in a similar pickle OP. My employer said I could “probably” drop to 0.8 after six months but due to unexpected workload it is now not possible. I’m unsurprised.

If I was an employer I would much rather have someone 10am to 3pm, working hard and effectively, than someone working FT and totally knackered.

All my job is modular - I offered to find a job share - it would actually save them a bit of money - they said… No.

I can't work full time either (ND) I'm completely burnt out just working part time.

It does seem easier to find a full time job then request part time hours. Or an employee like the civil service where you can request your hours. My DSis works for them, part time & term time hours only. It seems a nice job compared to most and pension etc is decent.

i have autism and a depression. I’m not on pip. It was so hectic when I was working full-time. I had to drop my children off at breakfast club in the morning, drive to/from my workplace for 2 hours and pick up the kids from school in the evening everyday. One of my children has autism with complex needs so I also had to take him to a speech therapy, social skills class, gross motor skills class etc. I didn’t have enough time to sit on the sofa relaxing on weekdays. As soon as we got home, I had to start cooking and cleaning the house. We sometimes have to try as hard as possible no matter how tired we are if we need money. My husband had to work from the hospital with a laptop when he had a total hip replacement from severe injury.

I wouldn't employ 4 days a week, as its essentially almost full time but not. And not part time enough to employ someone to fill in the gap.

I'd consider a job share on 2.5 days or a 3 day, 2 day split..

Have a look at housing associations, like civil service but better pay usually.

I work three days currently and think five would send me into a spiral tbh!
I have just secured a job that I am going upto four days for, so there are companies out there who will offer the flex, I did have to look for a few months though!

Muxh sympathy but no solutions here. I work nightshifts in a supermarket to fit around DC. I started off doing 30 hours pw but it was 6 nights on/8 off. I completely burnt out and was signed off etc. I've returned on permanently reduced hours but it's so physical and I'm not in good shape for it at all.

I'm constantly scouring adverts, but I'm so de-skilled in computer systems etc it's all quite hopeless.

I hope you find a better fit for you soon

Both parents working full time only succeeds if you can afford a nanny/cleaner/gardener. You basically outsource the other areas of life so 'free' time is parenting and social. Or if you have an amazing support network.

Agree totally. You either need lots of family support or lots of money. If you have neither, you might be able to do it but you'll be exhausted and miserable.

Could you potentially take a FT job then after 6 months put in a flexible working request? I did this and it worked for me, although I appreciate may not work for everyone.

I was working 4 days a week in an exhausting role, I got a new job in a less demanding role but FT, then after 6 months I put in a flexible working request and now work 4 days a week again

I do 4 days a week. We have my child most weekends and I need a day off whilst he's at school otherwise I'm knackered.

I work 30 hours but 12.5 hour day or night shifts. It works out 2 long shifts one week and 3 the next (or over Christmas I seem to be on 2.5 one week and 3 the next).

I absolutely love my job and yesterday had a very emotionally exhausting long day. I could not do more than I do now, it would physically and emotionally burn me out.

I am also a single parent and childcare is tough for the hours aI need and that is sometimes more stressful than being at work 😂😂

Could you potentially take a FT job then after 6 months put in a flexible working request?

I think this is a good approach, whilst I think you can technically apply straight away now, I think it helps to really build trust, show how you work, make yourself wanted and then it's easier for businesses/managers to compromise. I guess it's a risk if it doesn't work, but I suppose it depends just how incapacitated you are by full time work.

Both parents working full time only succeeds if you can afford a nanny/cleaner/gardener. You basically outsource the other areas of life so 'free' time is parenting and social. Or if you have an amazing support network.

Not sure I entirely agree with this tbh, I know MN makes out like you have to have a nanny to work full time, but in my world nearly all families both work full time and I don't know anyone with a nanny, and a lot of us don't live near family either. I think the more realistic and common approach is that at least one parent works flexibly, WFH does a lot to preserve my energy.

Could you put the kids in an activity on Saturday mornings?
Could you ask to compress your full time hours to a 9 day fortnight?
Could you use the extra days income on things that will make life easier like a cleaner twice a week and meal prep advice?
Can your partner drop a day at work if possible to take care of the home, if you have a partner?

You're doing brilliantly

Local council?

OP I’ve just secured a new role working 4 days but have found it’s best not to mention your preference for part time until you’re at job offer stage. Usually once an employer has decided they already like you, they’re more likely to approve a request - good luck!

I couldn't, unless someone else was doing my current share of the admin, housework, mental load and childcare, I don't think we'd function as a family with huge levels of exhaustion if we both worked full time, and the kids would be tired out too.
Be easy on yourself, it's totally understandable why you'd struggle full time and many of us are in the same boat x

As someone who is on many recruitment panels, I'd recommend applying then raising it if you are the preferred candidate, instead of saying at the beginning.

Civil service are good for work flexibility I do compressed hours in 4 days 8:30 -6:15. Long days but don't feel too bad with having the full extra day off. 60% office attendance expected so I tend to do 1 week in 3 days next week in just 2.
Think most civil servants are due in around 60% currently or at least the big 3 of HMRC, home office and DWP.

I honestly think this is the key to life.

It will definitely be what I'll be encouraging my daughters to do. Get up to at least mid level before kids and then you can go back part time for decent money & ride the wave. All of my mum friends who successfully earn decent money had the building blocks in place pre kids.

It will definitely be what I'll be encouraging my daughters to do. Get up to at least mid level before kids and then you can go back part time for decent money & ride the wave. All of my mum friends who successfully earn decent money had the building blocks in place pre kids.

Good grief there is much wrong here I don't know where to start.

Nope, I wouldn't be able to keep my head above water. My DH asked once if I'd go full time when DC are older. I asked him if he'd enjoy doing the food shopping, cleaning, and chores on a weekend, then start paying for a dog walker, out of school care if I did. He soon realised it wouldn't work for us. I currently do 3 full days and run a small business hustle and it's enough of a juggle.

Me. I work 3 days at the moment and earn a bit over what I'd get FT NMW. I'm a lone parent of 3, 2 have SEN and my home life is very full on. Not enough down time or sleep. I have the kids 100% so no time off at weekends etc. My "days off" are vital for getting things done, attending medical appointments (I also have an ongoing health condition and low iron) and just having a cup of tea in peace. I honestly think I'd burn out and have a breakdown if I did any more, something that the judgy "idle single mums should be sent down the coal mines" brigade don't always consider.