Anyone else can't manage full time?

[SageBlossomBunny]

Im job hunting and feel so frustrated. Keep seeing jobs, bit lower than what I'm on, but for ft work.

I've emailed or had informal meetings each time to see if they'd consider 0.8 and each time it's a no.

I just can't do full time. I'm permanently exhausted and need a day to recover without my kids 😭

I can't. It's bad for my physical and mental health. I struggled for years and now accept it about myself and feel extremely fortunate that OH pays more so I can be P/T.

I'm really struggling to accept it. I've just contacted another job person who says it needs to be full time. We so need the income but I can't see how I can do it.

I work 3 days at the minute and 2 days with the kids.
As of next September my DS will be at school and DD at nursery an extra day, but I’ll still keep my 2 days off. When they’re both at school I’ll probably do 4 short days so that I can do pick up/drop off.
Theres no way I could work a full time 40 hour week - nor would I want to miss out on that time with my children.

Mine are older so they're at school so it's not that so much... As my just exhaustion 😭

Finding a new career 4 days a week is so hard. 😬

I work 3 days a week and does some additional freelance work from home. There is no way I could work 5 days for an employer.

I have a long term health condition and I need the flexibility of working part-time to be able to do physical therapy, doctor appointments and so on.

I burn out easily and it takes me a day to recover from a day of office work or going out anywhere, so working full time is impossible for me physically or mentally.

How old are the kids? Do you have a partner? Does every pitch in at home?

Yup I've been off worn with burnout related ill health the last few weeks but I so want to believe I could wfh...

But I really need some recovery time.

OP have you been to the doctors and had your blood/thyroid levels checked. Why are you so exhausted that you are physically incapable of working 5 days even though you need the money? If you are totally incapable of digging deep and getting through just because you need it perhaps see if something is going on. Most parents work FT and manage.
Not a criticism, you obviously need this.

If you’ve been off for a few weeks, are you still getting sick pay or anything like that? What’s the company policy like for that? Or do you mean that you quit so aren’t getting anything?

It sounds like, unfortunately, you’re going to have to work. Your kids are school age so you’re not running around after toddlers when you get home. You’ll be able to get time while the kids do their own thing.

I don't know if OP is, but many neurodivergent people struggle to work fun time, myself included. The demands in a neurotypical workplace are just to much to handle for that amount of time.

Could you give it a go? I found pt more tiring than ft as the workload was heavier and I couldn't distribute it according to my energy levels across the week. My job has some flex so I work a bit over early in the week and shorter day on Friday. I'm tired by the weekend but ok. Agree with pps, worth seeing your gp about exhaustion

I found a full time job utterly exhausting before I had kids!

Yes on sick pay currently but back to work soon and wanting to look for a job in a different field.

Tbh I don't think most parents (well. Mothers in my circle) work full time. I dont know a lot that do!! So I don't think it's some freak thing.

However yes I think I said in my OP I would struggle with 5 days due to exhaustion.

Comedy yes me too but I thought maybe it was my job rather than me. But maybe it's both.

This was a mainly wfh admin role so I thought maybe less mentally/physically demanding but I don't think I could bring myself to do it and risk failing as I know I need that time to stop. I think the most I can do is 4 days.

Would you find a full time job, where you work some of the time from home easier to manage.

I work 3 days from home and 2 in the office, I think in my current role I would struggle with 5 days in the office as it's a long commute. Being at home means I can set the alarm 30 mins before I start work and get some chores done in my lunch break meaning more time to relax in the evening.

No, I can't.

I'm self employed, and work has been booming recently. So, school drop off, drive 45 minutes to site, work as hard as I can, rush out the door at 4.30, hoping I won't be late for the end of after school club at 5.15, straight home and get the dinner on, try and connect with and parent the teenager for a bit (he's been difficult recently, and it's very draining). Evening: collapse.

It's unsustainable long term, and I feel like I'm in a state of rolling burnout. The house is just getting messier and messier, which is doing my head in, but I don't have the energy to sort it.

I'm just trying to forgive myself for not being the kind of person who can do this. (I'm autistic and a lone parent).

I’ve only managed it with the help of extra childcare to help with some evening cooking/laundry… but it pretty much took all my income!

Without that, I would really need to rely on a partner to split all the chores and childcare in the evenings. It is a lot for 1 person to manage it all, without getting burnt out. (Though many amazing solo parents do manage of course!)

I’ve noticed that a 9 day fortnight seems to be an option in some jobs - could this be a compromise?
or compressed working over 4 days per week? That might be more appealing to a prospective employer especially if you are flexible which day off you have.

• my colleague works 8-6 - 10 hours per Day obviously breaks take it down to 37.5 hours.

could something like that work for you if part of it was flexible or wfh - some parents use their break to do school pick up? i work shifts myself which suits me but I’m used to it.

It depends on the job and the workload.

Admin jobs are ridiculous these days and can be very stressful. Could you do something different?

I was going to suggest the above. I know quite a few people who work a slightly longer day and have a 4 day week every other week.

I feel your pain though as I am anticipating it. I have worked PT for 10 years but we need more money and tbh I have had enough living like we were. So I am starting work FT soon. I also asked for 4 days and they said nope, only 5 days but did give me 1 day WFH which will hopefully become 2 in the future.

Also another thing to note, but depends on your line of work, it's sometimes easier to reduce your hours once you're in a job and they can see the quality of your work.

Ah I was hoping to go for admin jobs to reducethe stress as it was more wfh 😬.

And no I don't want to do 4 long days either as I don't want my kids alone for too long after school.

Interesting about people using their breaks to pick up kids from school. That would be very helpful!

As I work in person now I assumed if wfh when working you'd be actually contactable.

I'm feeling doomed 😬

The key it seems is to have trained in a different profession pre kids so you can cut back to 4 days.

Its so hard to move jobs into something pt.

I can’t work full time. I’ve just had a couple of months off from burn out and that was only working a four day week (along with a fair few family issues)

I’ve gone freelance now and it’s made a huge difference. I think I’m someone that needs to be able to set their own pace and work load and have full control. I can ramp things up or slow things down as needed and I’ve got flexibility for the kids so no more feeling stressed that I can’t be around for something or having to juggle.

I seem to need longer to process and get things done so whereas some people condense a full time job into four days I seem to expand a 4 day week into 7 🤣

I’m a teacher. I work part time. No way could I do it full time. I’m in awe of those that can. I have a wonderful DH who supports me completely. I used to work full time but I’m nearly 50 and I just can’t anymore.