I interrupt too much and am too opinionated, how do I stop

[Itsalemon]

Just that, I don't like myself doing it but can hear the thoughts tumbling out of my mouth and can't seem to stop. I'm in my early 50's fgs.

Why do think this happening too much. Has someone told you?

Get assessed and medicated for your very probably adhd.

One of my adult children got exasperated with me tonight and told me that it really bothered him and his sibling that I do it. Thing is I know I do, I can hear myself but it's like I'm just an observer, I just can't help but jump in. I've always been argumentative, I wish with all my heart that I was more relaxed and could just sit back and let others speak without always having to jump in.

Would I know I was doing it if that was the case?

I say that as that was how i was always described. By EVERYONE. Turns out, I'm learning the social niceties of conversation now I'm medicated. It's not a magic bullet but...

I don't try and change the subject though or say something random, it's just I'm too opinionated on whatever the topic up for discussion is

Counselling may help. It can be about learned behaviour. Then Working out how to change that behaviour.

I wondered if I could learn techniques to try and stop. Surely my own head should be able to control what comes out of my mouth though 🤦‍♀️

If you are interrupting too much then you need to improve your listening skills. Look up some techniques on active listening. It shows you how to focus on the other person and what they are saying rather than being focused on simply your part of the conversation and being too quick to put your views across. Once you improve this then you will have better conversations and will lead to less frustration from those you are speaking with.

I finish people's sentences. It's must be so irritating for them.

Thank you, I'll look that up

I suspect I irritate a lot of people 😞

I think you need to pause, count to ten in your head and really think about whether the conversation warrants you chirping up with your take on it. I sometimes think ‘what the fuck are you talking about???’ and go to jump in, but often think in the words of Elsa ‘let it go’. Of course don’t suppress your opinions when it matters but if it’s futile chit chat just button it more often.

I have ADHD and I don't notice myself doing this. And obviously most people are too polite to say anything. It's when DH will get fed up and say "can I just finish a sentence?" Then I realise and go oh, sorry!

There are certain situations I know it's likely to happen like doctors appointments so I am more conscious of it there. That's with medication though.

It's basically about building in a pause before speaking, but that's basically what the whole disorder is - faulty brakes.

Faulty brakes makes sense! I like other people with strong opinions but don't like myself with them weirdly

I used to do this. I try very hard not to now. I just sit quietly and listen. Practise, it gets easier. Ask someone about their day and DONT SPEAK. Try and go for longer each time. Ask them to expand on their story. If you have an opinion, consider why you need to speak it. Go home and write it down instead. Practise in every interaction.

Thank you, good advice x

I'm annoying people though, I had this feeling tonight that my DS was more mature than me and he's only 22 and I'm 55!

I'm 'that' annoying person. Diagnosed ADHD. Medicated. But still me. I try so hard.

I know a few women who cut across, take over the conversation or will try and finish my sentence, but get it completely wrong! Its really irritating. They dont listen.

It’s your personality. You probably need to accept it. Have friends who are similar and argue away until your heart’s content.

Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

If you want to say something ask yourself is it the right time, the right place and is it your place.

In other words, engage brain before opening mouth.

This is what most people learn as they mature.

My friend does this and doesn't have adhd. She says she comes from a family of over-talkers and it's how they are, but Christ it's irritating. She'll guess wrongly what I'm saying and butt in and I have to say "no I wasn't going to say that" to make her let me finish. She also talks too much generally and I do think it's put guys off her, but I mostly put up with it as she has lots of good qualities and on balance I'm more of a listener so it can be easier to have someone talking away than to talk a lot myself.

I think though that it's good you're aware of it's affect now and that has to make it possible for you to be less passive and make yourself stfu more. Empower your kids to be more firm when you're doing so they don't stop when you butt in and they say what they intended. You won't just keep on talking if people don't let you. Then you can take more responsibility and listen more. Listening is a really good quality in a person. Practice it instead of thinking of what you want to say.

My mum does this all the time. Interrupts, finishes sentences, corrects people as they are talking. My dad’s more or less given up talking when she’s around. My sister and I get so fed up with her. She doesn’t listen, she’s so determined to be ‘right’ all the time, this is more important to her than actually communicating with the other person.

try listening to and focusing on the other people in the conversation, rather than constantly getting ready to jump in or to correct them.