Do you enjoy socialising in other people's homes? I don't and not quite sure why.

[ArnieandBob]

I don't quite know why but since I was young I have hated going to other people's homes to socialise and will avoid it as much as I can.

Dh and I have been invited to friend's this evening for a meal, I had suggested going out but they insisted on cooking for us. I really would have preferred to have gone to a bar or restaurant instead but they always insist on hosting.

I don't know why but I feel that I can never fully relax or enjoy myself when round someone else's home. Maybe it's because I see my own home as a sanctuary, I get into my PJ's as soon as I can and have my own particular routine and comforts. Being in someone else's home just pushes me far out from that feeling of comfort.

My dh says it's weird of me (I do suspect that I may be ND and am on a waiting list for an assessment) but is it really that weird? Does anyone else feel the same?

It’s not a ‘small issue’ at all, and the fact that you think it is is very telling.

What nonsense!
It’s only a problem if the OP actually needs to or wants to do this. I’m not missing out by my lack of desire to go camping or bungee jumping. They’d bring me absolutely no joy and a great deal of unpleasantness and stress.

It’s perfectly normal to have preferences in how and where you spend your time. I struggle to believe that you have none.

It’s also quite normal to prefer meeting in a neutral place. My social groups feel similarly and almost all socialising takes place in restaurants, cafes and similar. I can go to someone’s home if necessary but I don’t enjoy it nearly so much.

Yet you chose to post on the internet about this one issue.

Thank you SameOldMeals

Yet you chose to post on the internet about this one issue.

I’ve posted about what to have about dinner . That doesn’t mean that I don’t have other concerns.

You seem weirdly offended by people having preferences that don’t align with yours. Perhaps you should see someone about that. It’s clearly a major issue for you.

I do understand why you feel this way. I grew up visiting lots of different homes, and whilst young I enjoyed it but as I grew I started realising the difference in peoples homes and perhaps that our house was more cluttered/poorer than my friends. My DM did not like cleaning and DF didn't care therefore this was never a priority.

Now I am grown with a beautiful 4bed home, it is not an insta home by any stretch nor do we have the latest trends (think 10 year old sofas etc). I do get a level of anxiety when people visit wanting to ensure my home is visitor ready. I also feel anxious being in other peoples homes if I do not know them well. Especially if they are very fancy and you make crumbs on the sofa so you feel like a 5 year old again.

I wonder if this is the route of your fears? That when people visit homes, they cannot help comparing it with theirs for better for worse, so the fact you feel uncomfortable probably roots back to your childhood feelings of being in other peoples homes, what were these?

Or perhaps it is because you feel the pressure of a return invitation/hosting especially if the home you have visited is "posher" in some way and you feel you cannot meet the stds expected? It is such an interesting thread, you are definitely not alone!