What would stop you travelling to/from events etc. alone?

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Friend has proposed a London get together for a group of us that met as young people in our hometown. The distance to travel into London varies from 20-60 mins. 3 of the group live in our hometown and would normally travel together by train to any London based meets by direct fast train. Only one of the 3 can make it this time and she’s said she can’t travel by train or drive up on her own and her partner can’t accompany her that day so won’t come this time.

It’s got me wondering whether this is something other women worry about. I’m not single, but often travel to visit friends or family and when DH has had spells of working abroad, I’ve flown out to join him for a few days.

How many of you don’t like to travel alone?

I think l anything you've never done before can be nerve wracking. It doesn't usually stop me doing anything, but I can understand being nervous.

Is she a particularly anxious person generally? Or could she have had a bad experience (assault or whatever) on public transport in the past? Otherwise, it sounds like she has never left where she grew up and feels uncomfortable and unsafe elsewhere without company, which is rather sad for her.

I find it very hard to understand the mindset of someone who limits themselves in that way without a good reason, but then I have been travelling and living in different countries by myself since I was 17.

So strange. How does she get to work? Does her DH accompany her?

I don’t understand this at all tbh.

No, I still prefer to travel to places to meet up alone. I can't be done with all the faffing about to travel together & being on someone else's timetable.

I've had a few health issues and I'm no longer still keen to travel to off the beaten track, overseas locations any more. But still happy to travel to main cities, or Europe etc

train to London, wouldn't give it a second thought.

but we're all different, with different anxieties etc.

She drives locally, it’s just the travelling by train or into London

My MIL would not (never has and judging by her reaction when I told her my own Mum was considering catching a plane on her own to visit me).

I travel alone quite a bit both abroad and around the UK, but I have decided against the Xmas party this year. I'd have to get the train back to the Midlands after the party, which will mean about 10.30pm, the location they've picked requires 2 tubes to get back to St Pancras and it's right before Xmas on a Friday night so will be peak drunk people while I'll be sober as a judge.

Travelling by myself surrounded by drunks feels unsafe and just unpleasant so I'll do something else that night.

My late mum didn’t travel much out of area, but she was disabled and part of a different generation. My MIL did travel to us by train until she was about 80 and used first class and passenger assistance.

However, friend is much younger

I know someone who is like this. She can drive and her daughter lives about a 90 minute drive from her but she can only visit if her husband is free to take her. Her injured himself a while back and she was terribly upset she couldn't go and visit.

She'll drive about a 5 mile radius. It must feel so limiting.

I prefer to travel alone.

I think that weird if it’s daytime travel. I could understand if it was a late night thing followed by a longer train journey
I travel a lot for work. Regularly do a long day in London - 200 mile round trip. Might go for dinner and get back late. Never feels particularly unsafe. Certainly wouldn’t occur to me to refuse to do it.

I wouldn't particularly want to be alone on the tube late at night of a weekend or something. I avoid that sort of thing when possible. Then again, I'm not a huge fan of London travel in general. Will do it if I need to. (I'm in the North West so not a big issue for me)

But I've travelled abroad alone and up and down the UK. I'd rather be settled and warm of an evening than trying to find my way around, but it wouldn't stop me. Always been worth it.

I travel alone by train to work in London 3x a week, every weekday before the pandemic, what sounds like a similar distance to this journey. It’s never occurred to me to be afraid of this, even getting the last train at home after going out for drinks or something.

I have also travelled (backpacked) alone which I can understand that some people would be apprehensive about but not the situation you describe, unless she generally has very bad anxiety or something.

61 and travel alone all the time. Travelled to the USA alone from the Midlands earlier this year.

I love travelling alone. I travelled to India alone this summer. I don't mean to sound judgemental, but I'm always perplexed by these grown women who seem unable to do anything alone. It's like they feel they need a constant chaperone.

I don't think I've ever met anyone like this irl so baffling to me, that an adult wouldn't travel alone in their home country. But we all live different lives. Would she feel OK to drive to yours and then go to London together?

Nothing would stop me from travelling alone and I would have zero patience with any adult who carried on like that.

I actually tried this suggestion. Apparently, that would be driving too far out of area and coming back at night.

What she really means is she's not that bothered about going. She'd come if it was easy or if she'd have company on the journey, but with the usual numbers depleted she just doesn't fancy it.

Maybe, although never missed before but also not been in a position of having no one to travel with. One of the others in the group says she’s always had this thing about London.

Main thing is we offered all the solutions we could in the circs.

"OMG Friend, are you joking? It's less than an hour, you'll be fine. Let us know what train you're on and we'll meet you at the station." would be my reaction. Absolutely don't pander to her ridiculousness.

I would only stop travelling alone if it became physically impossible.

I have travelled all over the world alone, no I have no issues with it

What stops me are the effects of my brain tumour post treatment - disorientation, dizziness, anxiety, visual issues, seizures.

I hope one day I am independent again even if further treatment is needed as I hate being this way. I used to be so independent. The countries I've been to alone.

If I knew your friend I would tell her to JFDI (just fucking do it) as there is nothing I'd love more than to just jump on a train somewhere and see friends or go to the coast

I actually feel less vulnerable as I get older. One of the joys (to me) of being middle aged/post menopausal is that no one notices me like they used to. I don’t get chatted up by creepy men, no harassment… even drunks on the tube don’t seem to notice me. I feel like a ninja 😆 I’ve travelled all over the world on my own (still do) and much prefer it now I’m older.

Yup, tried that too

How many others are going?

And if you’re close, surely you can have a chat about her anxiety surrounding travelling alone?