What would stop you travelling to/from events etc. alone?

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Friend has proposed a London get together for a group of us that met as young people in our hometown. The distance to travel into London varies from 20-60 mins. 3 of the group live in our hometown and would normally travel together by train to any London based meets by direct fast train. Only one of the 3 can make it this time and she’s said she can’t travel by train or drive up on her own and her partner can’t accompany her that day so won’t come this time.

It’s got me wondering whether this is something other women worry about. I’m not single, but often travel to visit friends or family and when DH has had spells of working abroad, I’ve flown out to join him for a few days.

How many of you don’t like to travel alone?

I haven’t got much experience of traveling alone, it’s just happened this way however my solo travel days were before mobiles so much more adventurous 🙂. Even so I would be only put off by travelling very late in UK, definitely fine with London daytime arrival/ departure.
I wonder if your friend has anxiety which she masks successfully, maybe even without realising herself.
Or it’s just an excuse.

I don't have a partner so if I didn't travel alone I'd never go anywhere!

I wouldn't walk a large distance alone at 1am, but I regularly get the night bus home after a night out in the city centre, the bus stop is a 6 minute walk from my house. I would go anywhere alone in the daytime, and have been abroad alone many times.

The only things that would stop me are:

Illness
Bereavement
Urgent work (unlikely)
Transport issues

Other than that, I'm good to go.

It must be awful to limit your own life experiences because you need someone alongside before you travel.

I'm not scared to travel alone on trains, buses, planes, boats or whatever. The only slight hesitation I have is getting in a taxi on my own, especially at night. I do it, but there's always that little niggle at the back of my mind. Basically you're locked in a car with a strange bloke. Stupid maybe, but hey ho.

It wouldn’t cross my mind not to travel alone anywhere, either in the UK or abroad, I’d feel very sorry for anyone who’s feeling that’s not something they can do without a chaperone!

Has this woman typically been very anxious? It doesn’t strike me as something that would come out of the blue, has she always been unable to function as an adult without a man to accompany her??

I often have to travel for work, I literally can’t not travel on my own!

I find it quite sad that some women are like this, it’s never men who won’t drive places/get on a train or whatever, I’d hate to feel so restricted.

If you pre book a taxi you know it’s legit though?

No you cannot assume a pre booked cab must be OK.
More likely to be so but not guaranteed unfortunately.
Mini cabbers often swap licences with pals.

Also, just because someone is licensed, it doesn't mean they aren't a sleazy fucker. Speaking from experience..

Having said that, it doesn't stop me getting in a cab if I need one.

God, I travel alone all the time - train, bus, cab, flights - in the UK and abroad, night and day. I have frequently travelled abroad and back for several days at a time for work alone.

Mr Monkey runs a lot of marathons abroad and when I go with him I spend the morning wandering the city alone and often have to get public transport to meet him afterwards. Sometimes I travel out the day after and meet him. Would not occur to me ths this was a problem. How limited her life must be.

I think many women feel more vulnerable as we get older.
Which we are I guess.
Less strong. Less able to move quickly.
I don't want to go about on public transport anymore.
So I limit my life but it suits me.

I wouldn't like to go to a concert on my own, but actually travelling there is no problem. I commute to London every day on the train and it wouldn't put me off to meet some friends and be back late-ish. Ideally before midnight because the streetlights go off then

@Balletdreamer thank you so much, that is so helpful x

I absolutely love travelling alone. Even abroad - although I will check in advance re safety as some countries it is inadvisable in some areas or if it is not day time.
it’s exciting, and not having to be with others if they have a tendency to faff about.

re your friend: could be any or all of the following:
anxiety
sheltered upbringing or always been with a supportive or controlling partner?
doesn’t like her own company/maybe a bit needy
mild learning difficulty that makes navigation or map reading a bit tricky?
previous incident or trauma related to travelling?
really set in her ways, can’t contemplate being on her own, having to ask directions or not know where the loo is etc or other very minor practicalities that can be sorted quite easily? hates being out of her comfort zone?

Solo is my favorite way to go to gigs! Can stand where I want, go to the loo without working if I'm going to find my companions again, and can dance and sing with abandon if I feel like it without caring what the people around me think.

I will sometimes actively avoid travelling with other people. Solo all the way. But if I didn't get public transport alone, I'd never get to work and it's been like that for my whole adult life.

Fair enough, but imo not high enough a risk as to not take a solo taxi, wouldn’t occur to me not to get a cab if I needed one.

I know several women like this. They won't get public transport alone or at all, won't drive places they don't know. Enormous anxiety. I've find it baffling and incredibly limiting - I've been travelling alone since I was late teens and regularly flew thousands of miles solo. There are few trips I wouldn't contemplate alone.
The same women are appalled that I let DD cycle to secondary (a couple of miles on a Greenway). They are passing their anxieties on their daughters too - one child has refused to walk, cycle or get the bus to school, leaving her mother scrambling for a solution as she has younger children to drop at primary and can't drive her daughter.

Generally love travelling alone, but bloody hate the last train home to Southend from London. I am too old to be vomited or dribbled or slept on. Or verbally abused or even chatted to by drunk people 30 years younger than me who I don't know.
Appreciate this doesn't apply at dusk, when trains are still full of business people.

Yes that's very true. It's just a slight hesitation I have about being locked in a car (because they do lock the doors) with a man who could be anyone really. I do get taxis fairly regularly and you'd never known I was apprehensive. I know it's silly and I'm generally a very confident person. I think the Sarah Everard thing affected me - which I know wasn't anything to do with taxis so it's all a bit daft.

I’m happy to travel. The only thing that would stop me would be financial.

Me too. I only ever travel alone, or with teen dd. If I didn't travel alone I'd never leave the house.

I feel more pressure travelling with dd as I'm solely responsible for her safety - but regarding directions, dd is much better than me, so I trot along behind her!

Quite happily travel anywhere by train, although not keen on the tube.

Not the mist confident of drivers that would inhibit me. I’d either see if I could go by public transport, or miss the event (but wouldn’t stop others going).

I have no issues travelling anywhere on public transport, including overseas, or walking fairly long distances. Never had any problems walking home from a station or bus stop in the early hours.

I'm not able to drive though, so I wouldn't be keen to travel anywhere without public transport options nearby or reliable taxi options. I always prefer public transport to a taxi though.

I have disabilities that make travelling to new places by my own extremely difficult and mostly impossible

travelling independently to a place I familiar with and know well I am fine with e.g.i go to work and gym etc every day by my own

She drives mostly locally