Does anyone have a nice MiL?

[wonderings2]

I've seen loads of threads recently where people are having an awful time with their Mother in laws, so I thought Id ask...

I have a lovely MiL, some of the things she has done/does

• Said she wouldn't come and visit after DD was born until I was ready for guests even though she was beside herself with excitement.
• Always brought round a cottage pie when DD was small to save me cooking.
• Asks SiL to help her chose (and order online) when she buys DD clothes so she gets something she knows I'll like.
• Snuck a bag of ironing out of the house and text me afterwards as she knew Id never agree to her taking it.
• Never interferes between me and DH or comments on how we parent.
• When DD went through a phase of playing shops she saved all her food packaging & receipts, put together a till with real money and set up a life size shop in her living room and played shops for hours. 😅

Thought I'd share something nice - most of my posts are moans 😂

Yes mine is good!
She is quite reserved and I feel like it took a few years for her bond with me completely! but now she is an absolutely doting granny, it really suits her!
She is always polite and very careful not to overstep, so that actually makes her easier to get on with sometimes than my own mum (although they both mean well!).

I had a lovely one. She would sit on the floor and play endless games, dress all the dolls, do all the puzzles. She came and did loads of housework when we had new babies, and was an around supportive great friend to me. She's gone now, but I still miss her ❤️

There are always little things we see differently on, but it's hard to think badly of someone who loves my children so much haha

What a lovely thread! Especially for all those mums with boys… I’m lucky, my son isn’t married yet but I absolutely love his girlfriend. I try to treat her the same as my dds and I would be overjoyed if they ended up together with a family. She is very accommodating of us and I’m very respectful of their space and their relationship.

Mine is absolutely wonderful. She's kind, generous, a fun grandma, gives the best hugs ever, and she always knows exactly what to say to make anyone feel better. She treats all her daughters-in-law as if they were her own daughters and there's never been any sort of conflict or animosity. She scooped me up when my own mum died and has looked after me ever since, and she was wonderful to my dad too. She lives too far away and we only get to see her a few times a year, but I talk to her daily online and think the absolute world of her (and my FIL too).

It’s like reviews, people usually only comment if it’s negative!

My MIL is one of a kind. From day one we always got on so well. To cut a long story short, when my FIL died she moved in with us. A joint decision. She has been more like a mum to me. I love her. Her health is deteriorated so much over the last year, we have carers to help everyday in our home as I couldn't carry on because of her mobility declining rapidly. My DC's love having their DGM living with us and they adore her like she does them. She is very thankful to us and the carers and she never complained, always thankful and happy.

Me too😂

My Ex-MIL was amazing. I miss her.

My current one is kind, but is inclined to ask me questions then ignore my answers. She thinks she is being lovely, but I find it annoying. I don't say anything, though.

"Would you like me to bring dessert?"
"No thank you, I have already made dessert."
Then she turns up with four desserts that we don't have room to refrigerate, and end up being thrown away because we don't really eat much sweet food.

"Would the children like a sand pit?"
"No thank you. We have no room and the cats will use it as a loo."
Turns up with sandpit.

See also dolls house, toy kitchen, rocking horse...

My ex mil was lovely. Even after the break up she said i'm still family and stays in touch. She pops round maybe once a month or so.

MILs are just women who happen to have kids with partners. They're the same rich band of humanity as anyone else. Mine is pleasant, kind and friendly but we have little in common. My own mother is hilarious, clever and cultured but has tested all of her sons and daughters in laws patience in various ways over the years, they still love her though. I think the best approach is usually to keep expectations realistic.

Thank you for these stories, I hope to be like these amazing MIL's soon. Unfortunately I wasn't so lucky, I got quite sad reading EvelynBeatrice's post about how her MIL would take a bullet for her children, I realized mine certainly wouldn't. She's very selfish and wasn't really interested until my daughter became quite successful, then she wanted to be involved - however, my daughter realized a while ago what her grandmother was like is not interested in building a relationship now.

Yes. She makes THE BEST marmalade and a brilliant chicken pie. She's a cross stitch Maven as well.
She's well posh and had staff when she was a young girl.
She gave me the Fifty Shades of Grey when I told her Ofsted were coming.
' If you have trouble sleeping ,I've found this helps' slow wink.

Mine is brilliant. Her son can be a twat at times.
But she is kind, loving, generous and so hands on
We have definitely had ups and downs but I couldnt be without her.
She does most of our childcare until 5 and still does a day a week and an overnight twice a month
She's fab!!

I repay it by being a decent DIL lol.
If she ever needed care I would 100% be there and have no issues with her moving in

Mine is completely lovely

My DiL does! In turn, I think she's brilliant for taking my son off my hands and making him as happy as he is - they are a great match and she's lovely

Most of the time - we did disagree on some things regarding raising our kids but she always respected our views with regards to our children. She was very kind and welcomed me to her family. The kids loved her very much. We lost her to MND a few years ago and we miss her

Mine is absolutely lovely. She came wedding dress shopping with me when my own mum decided it was too much effort. She's always included me in girls night with her daughter and she's a great person to chat to. We're not at the stage of having DC yet but she's a fantastic grandma to her 2 grandchildren and she's already super excited for us to have DC too. I'm ill today and struggling to think of more specific examples but I very much appreciate having her in my life.

Its taken us until very recently to teach her how to text so sadly I cant see a blog any time soon 😂

I love my MIL. When I had my first baby she was supposed to come over 2 months later to help/visit. flights booked. I had a terrible delivery and after my own parents went home I couldn't manage on my own. She dropped everything and came out early for 2 weeks and then came out again a month later. She was an absolute prop and support and in all the years since she has always told me I'm a great mother and have wonderful children.

She does drive me crazy sometimes- but my own mum used to too. I'd do an awful lot for her.

Mine is in the last days of dementia.
I have been divorced from her son coming up for 10 years.
Long story, but we became closer after the divorce and she has been a big part of my and my son's (her grandsons) lives.
I am fortunate that I am able to take my laptop and sit with her in the nursing home while I get some work done. She will be sorely missed.

My MIL (or I suppose ex-MIL) is a lovely woman. I've been divorced from her son for about 22 years now, but she still insists I am her daughter in law, we get on extremely well, she used to babysit for me after the divorce and she loves all her grandchildren to bits. I feel very sad when I read some of the stories on Mumsnet, it's nice to see positive MIL stories sometimes 😁

I was determined to be a 'lovely' MIL and not 'one of those', but then my son got me a batshit DIL who was determined from the get-go to not let it be.

Agree completely ...I do think you have to accept that you wont agree on everything and unless something is going to cause a massive issue just let it slide.

MiL is very aware that parenting has changed and embraces it but baby led weaning was a step to far and she point blank refused to give DD anything other than puree's - I found this irritating but she was genuinely scarred she was going to choke so I let it go.

There seems to be a trend on SM with DiL's setting ridiculous rules and expectations then going NC when the in laws don't conform. I would never advocate being treated badly but some people are just looking for an argument in my option.