Does anyone have a nice MiL?

[wonderings2]

I've seen loads of threads recently where people are having an awful time with their Mother in laws, so I thought Id ask...

I have a lovely MiL, some of the things she has done/does

• Said she wouldn't come and visit after DD was born until I was ready for guests even though she was beside herself with excitement.
• Always brought round a cottage pie when DD was small to save me cooking.
• Asks SiL to help her chose (and order online) when she buys DD clothes so she gets something she knows I'll like.
• Snuck a bag of ironing out of the house and text me afterwards as she knew Id never agree to her taking it.
• Never interferes between me and DH or comments on how we parent.
• When DD went through a phase of playing shops she saved all her food packaging & receipts, put together a till with real money and set up a life size shop in her living room and played shops for hours. 😅

Thought I'd share something nice - most of my posts are moans 😂

I loved my MIL very much, she died suddenly earlier this year and has left a massive hole in our family.

She was great company, very generous with her time and money, treating her adored grandchildren. Often said how lucky she was that I married her DS, and I was the daughter she never had.

We all miss her tremendously.

I didn't have a MIL, as she died before I met DH. But I've learned so much from this site and am happy to say that I do have a wonderful DIL who I love dearly.

OP, wht's interesting about your list is that I can see a few things on there that I've seen people on MN complain about with their MILs! I think it really does come down to whether or not both MIL and DIL genuinely want what's best for everyone.

I am not particularly close to my MIL but I do like her and we get on fine. At the end of the day, she's a lovely, engaged, caring grandmother, she supports us and I know that even if we don't always do things the same way or see eye to eye, we both respect each other. I'm neve going to be going to her for support or be a big buddy, but that's okay. We can absolutely spend time together though, enjoy a glass of wine and a catch up, and help each other out as necessary.

It really is the little things isn't it.

DH once came home with a single potato, apparently Id mentioned that I liked jacket potatoes and she'd found a potato in her bag of potatoes that would make a nice jacket potato for me 😍

Mine is an absolute gem.

No, I don't. If anyone wants to trade I'll throw in a box of chocolates too.

Love mine to bits and consider her one of my closest friends. She is one of the first people I call with good news or bad. I value her advice and opinions.

She asks whether we need help, what to get the kids for Christmas/birthdays etc, helps out with childcare and absolutely adores her children.

Plus she has never EVER treated my children from my previous relationship any differently - she just loved us all. Diamond of a woman.

My mother in law is dead now, but here's some of her gems.

Named my daughter Chloe she said " she'll not thank you for that "

"Are you an atheist". After my daughter's christening

" You shouldn't wear your husband's shirts"

"You've a job and your own money"?

After announcing third pregnancy
" If that's what you want". Very dismissive.
(She had four children!!!)

A mum whose newborn baby was stolen
" She wasn't married"
(Like she deserves it)

On Freddie Mercury dying
" He shouldn't have put his willy where it shouldn't be"😯

I used to until 2 things happened.
She reacted to a situation in such an awful way that I felt I couldn't look at her the same way even though it didn't affect me personally.
Secondly, I said no to her. Its easy to be nice if nobody challenges you

My MIL is lovely. I love how she (and the rest of the family) accepted my son from my first marriage into their family with no questions when I met her son.

My MIL wasn't very Mother-in-law-y, but she was a great person and a wonderful grandma. If you can imagine Chris Packham crossed with a squirrel...
She was crazy about wildlife, loved to take the grandkids pond dipping, making plaster casts of animal tracks and so on. She had a big collection of hazel nuts chewed by dormice, pine cones chewed by squirrels etc
When she came to visit we used to have to send out a search party to fetch her in for meals, she'd be pottering about the nearby woods, not doing sensible MIL things like peeling the sprouts 😁

My MiL is amazing. She now lives with us. Shes the mum I never had.

She's so considerate. Generally we don't interfere in each others dinner plans and the likes (she has her own tiny kitchen in her studio room and prefers to eat there most nights - her choice), but yesterday I came home after a super stressful day of hospital appointments to a massive lasagne and a chicken bake. Meaning I won't have to cook dinners again before we go on holiday on Sunday night.

I'm also incredibly luck as I have my other-MIL. DH was widowed when we met. It must be incredibly hard for her to have saw me with DH and with DS1, her grandson, over the years after she lost her beautiful DD at just 26. However, she's been nothing, but supportive. She is just part of our family and spends time with my DD's and our younger children as well.
It was actually her that spoke to me when I was unsure about DS calling me Mum. He asked when he was 10. She told me that her DD loved being his Mummy and in her opinion would be very happy that he had a Mum to love and care for him. She's wonderful.

I have a really lovely mother in law, I wish we lived closer to her.

My MIL died 14 years ago. She was born in Malaysia in the 1930s on a rubber plantation and she never received an education so could not read or write. Many traumatic things happened to her, especially during the war when the Japanese invaded. She was wise and enduring and had emotional intelligence in spades. I loved her very much and still miss her.

Yes I have a lovely MIL.

I'm amazed some posters can get through the day taking offence to some of the thoughtless but innocuous things people say to them.

Yes, she’s lovely. Lives quite far away unfortunately so we don’t see her a lot but she’s a wonderful woman and raised two lovely children, I hope to be half the mother see is/was.

Yes mine is amazing. I love her like a mother.

My FIL is the one with foot in mouth syndrome. But he doesn't mean it and is very kind, just blurts out whatever he is thinking.

You could easily take offence but he's blunt with everyone and his actions rather than words show care.

Mine is an angel without wings

She not only married my darling fil (who wasn't an easy man,which is putting it mildy!) she brought up dp to be a loving,faithful man who does more than his fair share of everything and would take a bullet for me

She nursed dps sister,her dd,who became ill with battens disease (a form of dementia)when she hit 7/8,then her sister when she found she had breast cancer,and again when darling fil died from it-she nursed him and kept his pride and dignity to the end

She's an amazing granny-she is who I want to be with my own granddaughter

She never sticks her nose in,she repects our space and relationship and is always there if we need her

She is my mum-i can tell her anything and she's never judged me (or she hides it well!)

(I'm nc with my narc mother,which mil doesn't get as she thinks families should stick together but she repects my decision)

We utterly adore her-If I manage to grow up and be half the woman she is,I'll have hit the jackpot in life

She's our everything and the lights will dim when she dies

Mine is lovely. She doesn't do anything for us but that's not how I judge if someone is nice. She is funny and gentle and made my lovely dh so I think very highly of her.

Mine is lovely. We have absolutely had our moments over the past 20 years but I love her so much.

I like my MIL. She is very relaxed person though and sort of does her own thing. But she is a great n and a lovely grandmother. I'm also in awe of her, when I hear about her childhood/young adult struggles and what she did to better her life then I really admire her.

Also have big big love for my husband's nan - just putting that out there 😆

My MIL was the mum that I wish I'd had. We lost her 2 years ago and I miss her terribly.

My MIL died last year. I really loved her. She was a wonderful person with natural grace, kindness and dignity and even in sad end of life circumstances she always thought of others. I miss her.

Mine was lovely. She became like a mother to me after my mum died.

She made me feel welcome from day one, and never saw me as competition for her son's affections. He had already left home and moved away several years previously so she didn't see much of him anyway.

My MIL was a gem, softly spoken, gentle and loved our family. Eventually she needed to live with us and my then H and I were worried about how it would go. She spent quality time with our children and made our home life richer. When dementia took it's toll, my lovely MIL was lost and I cared for her as best as I could. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do. The illness changed how she behaved and it was tough to see. I remember the good times through and am thankful for the time I got with her.