Overweight children help needed

[stormmclean]

I weighed and measured my 7 and 10 year olds today and they are both overweight - the 7 year old by about 3kg and the 10 year old by about 5kg. Both 97th percentile for BMI.

Friends and family all tell me not to worry, they're just a sturdy/stocky build and the worst thing I can do is mention their weight or give them body issues but I do really want to tackle their weight.

We eat fairly healthily, I think it would be easier if we could just cut out biscuits, juice or puddings but they don't really have those things.
They do both have big appetites so I know that volume of food is the issue but I'm struggling with how to cut down without them feeling like I'm putting them on a diet.

Has anyone successfully managed to get their kids to a healthy weight?

As a nutritionist- you are doing a great job as a mum to address their weight and cook healthy meals. Reduce their carbs so instead of pasta lasagna for dinner, replace the pasta sheets with courgette slices. Keep fat in their diet- eggs, meat, avocado etc as it is satiating and regulates their hormones, but limit sugar to one dessert a week- at their grandparents if you choose. Keep them hydrated with 6 + glasses of water a day and add in a multi vit as low vitamin D can lead to imbalanced dopamine and so higher food-as-reward cravings. Finally set a good example yourself with diet as a parent- no snacking around the kids- eat your meals with them. Feel free to leave food on your plate if you are full etc.

Be sneaky with those vegetables. When your making chilli or curry for example, it is very easy to sneak in broccoli/cauliflower/carrots and it will also bulk it up.
Just little things like that
Your a good mum noticing and trying to help them get to a healthy weight.
Absolutely do not mention the word diet to your dcs.
Good luck x

Have you ever weighed out their food (what they have during day) and understood the calories in it? Healthy food is still calorific if it’s too much. (Obviously I wouldn’t be doing this in their presence). If it’s ok calorie wise, you know it’s the exercise (or the food you don’t see them having). my parents had no idea I was getting thirds and fourths at school dinner time 🤷‍♀️

its easier to fix if you know what the issue is.

If it’s the food you give them, you could just make a slight shift. Ie reduce the carbs and make sure veg is at least a third of the plate.

A shift at this age will be much easier on them than when they feel fat and self conscience as teenagers.

I wouldn’t tell them what you’re doing though, My mum told me I was overweight when I was about 10 and it really affected my view of myself. If she’d have contacted the school she’d have found out they were serving 10 year olds portions of chips and sweets at the 10.30 tuck shop 🙄

You sound like a great mum. Are either of the kids on any medication? You already probably know certain meds cause weight gain. And weight is particularly challenging for autistic children, especially on medication.

They have a healthy diet by the sounds of it, just get them moving more. My kids (similar age) diet is appallng compared to yours and mine are healthy weight , but they are always moving. My autistic one likes Cosmic Yoga on youtube, satisfies his need for screens but gets him moving more. More walks, nore swimming, climbing trees etc.
Dont restrict kids carbs too muxh, they need them.

Their diet sounds really good compared to most children.

The obvious things to cut are the crisps and the dinners at Grandma which are just insane.

After that, I think carbs should be next - protein, lots of veg, healthy fats, smaller amounts of carbs.

If that still doesn’t work, probably all processed food - fewer sausages etc.

Please do not move to low fat versions of everything which are full of sugar, or low sugar versions of everything which are massively processed.

A big appetite could mean they really are eating stupidly big portions. I've seen it.

Always my Dad problem not what he ate.

You sound like you have a sensible way forward.

Only thing I wondered is if they don't drink a lot they could be confusing hunger and thirst.

Quick eaters also can consume large amount because the full signals take time to happen. Also soups - if they'll eat also take longer to digest then other meals so full for longer.

One other thought OP - what time do they go to bed? Eating dinner at 7ish and then going to bed soon after means the food will just sit in their stomachs overnight and they will absorb more calories from it than if you ate much earlier. I have found myself that eating dinner at 5.30 instead of 7 helps a lot with weight management. They could have the main meal earlier and then a snack/very light supper later if hungry again?

One thing not mentioned is free access to fruit/veg. Veg is fine, but lots of fruit can really add up - obviously it depends what but if they were eating say 2 bananas a day that might be something to cut back on and replace with veg. Also I probably wouldn't give the littlest one an alternative meal if not eating. Well done OP I think you are doing a great job.

Fruit veg, half a sandwich and a squeeze yogurt can't be enough food for an active 10 year old surely

Don't tell them you are putting them on a diet, but halve the carbs (and cut down general portiin size), up the veg. Fruit for pudding if they eat pudding. Hearty outings in the fresh air at weekends. Don't buy biscuits etc at all.
My mother overfed me on healthy food and I'm naturally greedy. I was miserable as a teen as I was just bigger than all my friends. If she'd just put less on my plate, cooked less for the family overall, I would have been a completely normal, slim size. (Slim was normal back then.)

I agree that it sounds like portion size is the issue, so a smaller plate should help. My 11 and 9 year olds still eat from smaller plates than we do and their meals fill them up just fine. They have natural yoghurt for pudding, I add my own fruit.

A school parent in our area said that they were shocked by the size of the school lunches when they saw then, saying that they are tiny, but when they showed a photo it seemed a normal size to me - I think some kids have just got used to eating massive portions for their ages. I agree that snacking isn’t necessary either.

I don’t think that dinner at the grandparents once a week is the main issue; I had similar as a child, but wasn’t overweight.

Their diet at home doesn't sound that bad, it just needs a little tweaking and slowly reducing portion sizes. I would be careful of suddenly being too restrictive though, that can start to cause issues if they react by secretly bingeing or going crazy with food as soon as they're old enough to get it for themselves.

The meals at the grandparents are a much bigger issue I think, they are completely over feeding them. That's not showing love, it's enormously unhealthy.
If the older one isn't doing much exercise, that weekly blowout is even worse and will be piling on the weight. Can you find anything they enjoy - maybe get a trampoline in the back garden or try some exercise video games?

I was thinking about the free access to fruit, and maybe replacing the type of fruit available too, I find grapes are so sugary and they will go through a punnet in no time.
Maybe there are 'healthier' fruits they could have?

We stick to fruit in natural yoghurt for pudding, and they have fruit at school too.

They don’t just grab it when they fancy.

I prefer to give something like red pepper and cucumber sticks with houmous if they really need a snack.

I agree with this.
It's easy for others to be armchair experts - particularly to be fair because they were asked - but if you have a DC who is addicted to food and feeling full it's complex to tackle.

DS was a rather sturdy young DC and teen until he got into rugby and serious weight training now he looks amazing. I certainly didn't feed him a rubbish diet when he was young but seemed more food motivated than some other DCs and always preferred carbs over protein.
If anything I would say look at upping the clean protein as much as you can, rather than purely cutting things out. So chicken breast home baked with Nandos flavouring and anything involving eggs.

If Im honest I dont understand the need for or clamour for fruit.

I dont have a naturally sweet tooth so am biased of course, but as you say, its easy to overeat if you like fruit and think that 'its just fruit'. Out of your 5 a day (which isnt really 5 a day, it should be 10 or something) the majority of the intake should be veg, fruit should play a small part

I barely eat fruit and people think thats unhealthy, when I say 'I dont really eat fruit', I know they think Im sat there eating crisps instead of fruit. I eat veg though
I do have prunes with breakfast because they're full of good things and good for fibre, easier to get down than the non dried version, I couldnt eat 5 plums for example. The sugar is more concentrated but the benefits offset that in my view.

There is a lot of dubious advice on this thread.

The one thing that stands out to me is peanut butter for breakfast. Yes it has protein, but it is also the most calorie dense food you can get. I would remove that from their diets before I remove carbs.

The 10 year old eats loads of peanut butter. He would live on it if he could 😱

Well that’s an easy win then, to remove the peanut butter.

I have a friend who was trying to bulk up an underweight child and she found that it was the most calorie dense thing in the supermarket so gave her that.

I have a rule for myself that if one of my snacks is nuts of any kind, then I cant have any nut butters in anything of any kind, for that day

Also love peanut butter and nuts, eat quite a lot of them.

I think your diet sounds fairly good - the only thing I thought was that the lunch includes a lot of UPF. But beyond that I would say just cut down the portions for everyone and up the activity level a bit. Also are they good at drinking water? I’d ditch everything that isn’t water from the drinks in the household. I am maybe a bit extreme but no one needs anything else to live drinks wise. There is zero nutrition in most shop bought drinks!! Even fruit juice is largely pointless and is just sugar.

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/health/diet-nutrition/a20705822/healthiest-low-sugar-fruits/

https://www.livescience.com/which-fruits-are-low-in-sugar

Though keeping fruit for dessert ( after Sunday lunch or something ) for example Frozen berries with Greek yogurt or packed lunches may be a better idea rather than a open have at any time fruit bowl.

Cutting out peanut butter is probably as easy way to cut some calories out of the diet.

I am not starving him! He hasn't asked for a full sandwich since I started it. And there's plenty of fruit, vege to go with it!
I am only trying my best! And I am generally not cutting cards, just cut portion sizes. What else should I do?

Their diet sounds fine tbh, unless they're having enormous portions- you could look at NHS portion size guidelines and weigh their food for a week to see if they're having about the right amount.
It might be that you've made the positive Changes now and just need to stick with this and give them time, as they grow taller they will maintain their weight so end up at a healthy weight