Overweight children help needed

[stormmclean]

I weighed and measured my 7 and 10 year olds today and they are both overweight - the 7 year old by about 3kg and the 10 year old by about 5kg. Both 97th percentile for BMI.

Friends and family all tell me not to worry, they're just a sturdy/stocky build and the worst thing I can do is mention their weight or give them body issues but I do really want to tackle their weight.

We eat fairly healthily, I think it would be easier if we could just cut out biscuits, juice or puddings but they don't really have those things.
They do both have big appetites so I know that volume of food is the issue but I'm struggling with how to cut down without them feeling like I'm putting them on a diet.

Has anyone successfully managed to get their kids to a healthy weight?

I'd secretly monitor their diet for a week or so and see what they are actually consuming. Try and get an accurate picture of where their calories are coming from. Obviously you mustn't let them know. I'd weigh their food portions. You might find you are giving them too much.

You might find there is an obvious answer to where you can cut back and if you don't find any obvious issues at least you will have a better understanding of their diet re protein intake, fat intake etc. Also look how their diet ties in with their activities.

I used to struggle to get my daughters to eat enough protein when they were little so food logging helped me understand areas I could improve.

I think the main thing with getting overweight kids to slim down is to do it extremely slowly. You focus should be the long term goal of having normal weight children who make healthy food choices.

Average height, it's their BMI which is on a very high percentile.

They are definitely big, they visually look chubby and they wear clothes a size bigger than their ages.

OP is right to say that they need do intervention with their diet 3kg and 5kg at their ages is a significant amount of additional weight. It’s brilliant she’s identified it and has acknowledged that volume of food is their issue. Lots of parents find this very challenging to even recognise in their own kids.

Honestly I think the breakfasts are quite sugar heavy, I would go for more protein and reduce sugar.

lunches- is that daily or just on school days?
switch to low fat hummus, mayo etc and change the babybel for less processed cheese and ditch the crisps (switch for popcorn but only one day a week!)

dinners- change to wholewheat pasta and rice. Reduce portion size of carbs and increase veg.

There is no-one overweight in our family on either side and DH and I have never had to diet. It was a bit of a surprise when one DC started to get a bit chubby around 10 years old.
I skirted round it for a while, tried to buid in more exercise but it made no difference. Eventually I talked to him about it. It turned out he was very concious of being overweight and glad it was out in the open. I thought exercise would be enough. He went on a massive exercise programme but it made not the slightest difference. Eventually we decided he needed to diet as well. Mainly limiting sweet things and maximising veg and fruit. It was hard for him with a sibling who could eat his own bodyweight daily and not gain an ounce.

It might sound silly but have you thought of getting smaller plates and dishes?
It can be easy to over do portion sizes? Do you throw leftover away or will the kids eat them ?
The pasta etc meals you make , are the sauces homemade or from a jar , it can be much tastier , healthier to make your own ? Would the kids enjoy helping make their fish fingers, chicken burgers etc , you could batch cook them .
Have a look at the yogurts etc that you use , would a different brand be healthier and less calories.
Look at how you make your pancakes , could you do them in a healthier way?
My MIL always used to have a big pan of the most gorgeous veg soup on her stove for anyone to have if they were hungry before tea.

I think it sounds like you are doing an amazing job, it might be something simple like stopping a weekly slice of cake that’s needed to make an impact x x

They do have a bag of crisps most days which I think I will have to cut out. But I just don't buy things like sweets, biscuits, ice cream so they aren't in the house. I don't try to limit them at parties or refuse puddings on holiday or if we eat out though.

It is frustrating because compared to their skinny friends they have by far the healthiest lunch boxes and they complain about the lack of penguin bars and frubes!

They go to grandparents for dinner once a week and I know they are over fed there - they will tell me the kids wanted 5 sausages or nanny will have baked a cake AND given them ice creams. Bread and jam for a snack.

Oh and they do often visit other grandparents who will always give them a Mr Kipling type cake.

Honestly I think you are doing everything right. Give it some time.

Really interesting that their natural inclination is to overeat when they get the chance to- I’d definitely knock tea at granny’s on the head temporarily (go for the afternoon but not to eat). They need an appetite and volume reset to appreciate exactly what a normal amount of food is and what their bodies need (rather than what their brains want/have becomes accustomed to).

Btw I’m not meaning to sound preachy- both my kids tend towards wanting to overeat and it’s a battle to keep a lid on what they’re having and when. Loads of exercise and careful food/meal planning just about keeps them on the right side of things but it’s not easy so I do get it.

If they're eating 5 sausages (plus presumably whatever is served with them - some sort of potato plus veg I guess?) at their grandparents', I imagine their serving size at home is quite large. 5 sausages is a huge amount for a 7 year old.

My dd was always overweight until she hit puberty. It became an issue by the time she was about 7. I reduced the carb wherever I could. Packed Lunch I reduced to one either bread or crisps and a snack sized piece of malt loaf plus fruit and veg sticks. I wouldn’t have given weetabix or bread in place of a meal. It would have been 2 eggs and marmite soldiers. The protein keeps you fuller for longer and reduces sugar spikes.

Whatever I made, I increased the protein and decreased the sugar. Cakes I used loads of eggs (ie 5 instead of 2) and half the sugar then served them plain. One egg per large pancake etc. I made lots of what I called ‘picnics’, ie picky bits as dd was very fussy with food.

With mine when this happened, I’d stopped buying snacks (well reduced to a 6 pack of crisps and one small pack of biscuits, and these had to last the week) and I’d also look at portion sizes. Are you giving ‘adult’ sized plate-fulls? Or second helpings? You can reduce calories significantly by reducing what you put on their plate. Also, are their meals ‘carb heavy’? We now do the 50% veg; 25% protein; 25% carbs thing, on new (and coincidentally slightly smaller) plates.

We also only allow ‘treats’ on active days - so the snacks offered after sports activities so that there is an understanding that calories out relate to calories in and mine will (at 16 and 19 now) avoid ordering, say, a milkshake and chose a diet drink/bottled water at MacDonalds if being treated after college, saying ‘I’ve not done much all day, just sat and studied’, so it seems to have seeped in.

My youngest is now 6ft3 and was always the tallest so DH in particular like to ‘feed’ him, but DS started gaining weight around 9. We tried for years to just let his weight catch up but eventually you do need to step in as it doesn’t really work if you’re not changing what you’re feeding them.

What kind of thing does this mean?

People on these threads always suggest exercise, but it really is about diet. Sure - exercise is important for all sorts of reasons, but unless your child is doing two hours of intense training every day, it’s not going to negate the impact of extra calories.

I thought the breakfasts were quite low sugar?

Can you get up 5 mins early and scramble an egg and plop it on a whole grain slice of bread? No sugar, plenty of fibre and protein, so will keep them fuller longer and boost concentration at school?

Mine are grown up now.
However I never bought cereal. Even back then it was described as empty calories. For breakfast they had omlette on wholemeal bread ( these days we make our own) beans on toast. I always nought a big pot of natural yogurt and added a few nuts and seeds. My mum used to call me an old hippy but this seems to be the advice for eating now.

I never had chocolate, snacks etc in the house but they certainly weren't banned. For example we would occasionally get ice cream from the ice cream van or stop at the co op on the way home to buy chocolate to watch a movie at home. It was a treat rather than the norm.
Dinner/ tea/ evening meal was always something easy eg chicken stir fry, casseroles and stews in the winter.
The children got used to a wide variety of fruit and veg so it was just normal food for them.
We exercised as a family but it wasn't 'exercise ' for example it was a day out hiking in the lake district or Derbyshire. We took their friends with us.

You get rid of any freezer food
This is mad. There is nothing wrong and plenty right with frozen veg and fruit. Many a meal can be made in minutes due to having basics in. I like to have frozen chopped onions as a stand by.

Look at your lifestyle. What is normal for you becomes normal for them.

All the upf advice now I was doing years ago BT default because I was skint and couldn't afford ready meals and snacks. Turns out I wasn't depriving them but doing them a favour.

At home if they have sausages they'd have two each and there wouldn't be any extras - so at grandparents when they're able to have as much as they want/can then they do.
I have spoken to the grandparents about the over feeding and their weight but I think I need to be a lot firmer.

I have two very fussy eaters so their diet isn’t as good as yours but neither of mine are overweight.
It sounds more to me like you need to cut their portion size and increase activity.

They do sometimes have eggs but wouldn't want them every day. I thought the peanut butter and greek yoghurt and both giving them some protein too though.

5 sausages( assuming they're not cocktail size) is a huge portion even for a man, let alone a child, 1 to 2 would be normal. Can you talk to grandparents about restricting food and explain that doing nothing will mean they will just continue to be overweight? The grandparents will surely understand when you tell them the centiles. They could swap bread and jam for fruit or houmous and carrots. There's no need for both cake and ice-cream, a smaller portion of one of them would be perfectly fine. The grandparents must be able to see that the children are overweight, I see so many fat children at primary school nowadays, there were none when my children were at primary 25 years ago.

Yes, an occasional bit of indulgence (christmas) is fine, but if they eat there regularly then I think having a firm conversation with GPs is needed. The urge to feed, because you love them, is strong in some generations but they need to understand that if your kids are overweight they are gifting them a world of harm, not love. Overweight kids can be bullied more, be self conscious and have low self esteem - these impact their willingness to take part in PE or even to engage in lessons (putting hands up, asking questions).

Perhaps suggest (and send info on what is ‘normal’ portions for this age group, but suggest that maybe they could take them out for a hot choc/panini/icecream as a half term/end of term treat every 6-8 weeks and make an occasion of it?

Low in sugar as you think of sugar but high in carbohydrates which is sugar. And most people don’t have the recommended serving of cereals to be honest, they have way more than that. And then they add sugar or honey, or more sweet ingredients such as a banana (albeit natural sugars). I would opt for proteins and brown bread if possible,

Their diet sound normal, don’t switch to low fat diet foods. The need good fats and you could try higher protein content which would help keep them fuller for longer.
more of lean protein, lentils, chickpeas, fish , eggs, chicken and plenty fruit and vegetables.

walk everyday together and an activity like swimming as a family twice a week.
I think you’re on the right track with it , and you’re being a good parent.